We've all had to deal with the changes in behaviour of both friends and family because of Alzheimer's/Dementia. On several occasions those who used to be my husband's good mates ask me how he is and to pass on their best wishes and to make sure to tell him they are asking after him. This happened yet again last week and I had enough and turned round saying: "isn't it strange how people ask me to tell him they are thinking of him and wishing him the best, yet they never tell him directly", my meaning being they do not phone, they do not come round, in fact they avoid him on the street if they can. A week later this particular individual has asked us to dinner. My immediate thought was - no. However, the reason is mainly to protect my husband, he feels awkward and anxious in other surroundings, his eating habits are not palatable, his conversation is no longer coherent, he would feel very conscious etc. I put up with it, I understand where it comes from. The friend would not. How do I politely decline because I wish to protect my husband - the little dignity he still has. Yet do not want further upset those who may on the odd occasion still acknowledge his existence. We live in a small town and this particular person would view our decline as an insult and would 'gossip'. Gossip does not bother me. But my husband would not understand any gossip about him that would no doubt reach him when going on his little walks. Should I just say no thank you and leave it at that, and not elaborate?