Hi, I'm new. My dad lives with us and we've just relocated from another country. We found out a few months ago that he was misdiagnosed (from where we used to live), and is further along than we thought - mixed dementia: vascular and alzheimers. As his carer, I feel really bad that we're now considering putting him in a care home, but it's either that or continue on with the feeling of anxiety, stress and helplessness.
How to cope with guilt
- Thread starter claudette88
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- mixed dementia
Not sure whether any of us cope with the guilt. It's sometimes just a case of learning to control it. If you think your dad has reached the point where he needs a care home you can either start looking round some to find one you like if he has sufficient funds to pay the fees, or if he hasn't, contact social services and request a carers assessment.
If you have a look through the Alzheimer's society website there are guides available to give you more information as a starting point.
If you have a look through the Alzheimer's society website there are guides available to give you more information as a starting point.
Welcome @claudette88
Deciding on residential care can have a more positive outcome than most people realise.
Once your dad settles and the physical responsibilities of care are in the hands of others, those feelings above will fade and you will be able to visit as a daughter rather than as a carer.
Deciding on residential care can have a more positive outcome than most people realise.
Once your dad settles and the physical responsibilities of care are in the hands of others, those feelings above will fade and you will be able to visit as a daughter rather than as a carer.
Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @claudette88.
This is a link to the information @yoy mentioned
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I think until you have someone living with you 24/7 you don't realise the full extent of how dementia is affecting them. I saw my mum regularly and although I knew things were amiss I thought she was doing OKish until I spent a Christmas with her and I realised how advanced her dementia had become. It is not a failure if your dad moves into care. You'll still be looking after him, but with a team of people to help you.
This is a link to the information @yoy mentioned
Care homes: Who chooses and who pays?
Read our advice and information about choosing and paying for full-time care.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
The guilt never goes away, but you learn to live with it and accept you can’t be everything to everyone.
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