How severe does dementia have to be for a care home? (when no financial resources)
- Thread starter Lisa74
- Start date
Hello Lisa. I'm sorry things are so bad. Has the person you care for had a comminity care assessment done? If not then I would ring Social
Services and ask for one to be done urgently. Just in case you haven't had one done I've attached the link which explains it.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/download.php?fileID=1812
Services and ask for one to be done urgently. Just in case you haven't had one done I've attached the link which explains it.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/download.php?fileID=1812
Hi Lisa,
No relevant info because I live in Oz. Wanted to say hang in there, you're so far from alone in this it's amazing. Help such as Izzy's suggested is available, and the only suggestion I can make is to have a good look around TP to see how others have expedited the process.
There's a mine of info here, including the efficacy of using terms such as "vulnerable adult" and "safeguarding"; from what I can gather these are as close to "open sesame" as the UK carer gets
Good luck and hoping your energy rebuilds quickly,
Toni
No relevant info because I live in Oz. Wanted to say hang in there, you're so far from alone in this it's amazing. Help such as Izzy's suggested is available, and the only suggestion I can make is to have a good look around TP to see how others have expedited the process.
There's a mine of info here, including the efficacy of using terms such as "vulnerable adult" and "safeguarding"; from what I can gather these are as close to "open sesame" as the UK carer gets
Good luck and hoping your energy rebuilds quickly,
Toni
This is your grandmother? And she lives with you and your family? And this isn't her house? Because the truth is, no adult can be forced to care for another adult. I'm not saying social service might not make it difficult, but if your family can no longer do the caring, then social service must find another placement for her, which almost certainly means a care home. What you need to do is tell any social worker that there has been a complete carer breakdown and the situation is no longer tenable. Point out that you (as in your family) can no longer care for her and that social services must find an appropriate placement for her otherwise your only option would be to have her admitted to hospital. This is a pretty radical step, and most people simply wouldn't drop their elderly relative at A & E, but you can rather understand why sometimes they do.
In addition to the community care assessment which should be done as soon as you can manage it your local social services department should also have an emergency number which you can call if things become unbearable.
I think you're absolutely right to seek help - my mum had a complete breakdown after caring for my dad and I'dhate think of anyone else hoingoing through this
Good luck and hugs to you and your family xxxxx
I think you're absolutely right to seek help - my mum had a complete breakdown after caring for my dad and I'dhate think of anyone else hoingoing through this
Good luck and hugs to you and your family xxxxx
Dear Lisa74
Sorry to hear that you are so exhaust. Try to have a break. It is not easy. Hang on.
Others have suggested and SS can help you. Go and see your GP.
Be brave. Courage.
sending you positive thoughts and strength.
Sorry to hear that you are so exhaust. Try to have a break. It is not easy. Hang on.
Others have suggested and SS can help you. Go and see your GP.
Be brave. Courage.
sending you positive thoughts and strength.
I don't know what area you live ( this was Leicester, sure other areas must have similar arrangements) but when things got that my dad could no longer cope with mum at home, we called the GP out, we pointed out dad could not meet her needs and we were not able to give the necessary support any more. The GP was able to arrange two weeks immediate respite care in nursing home. Once mum was there they could see she needed a permanent solution (that did not include going home again). Have to say she is now happily (in her own way) settled in a nursing home receiving help and care that could never have matched at home with no private funds.
Meant to say I do feel for you so much. It was a difficult decision to make. We keep thinking maybe we could manage a bit longer or with a bit more help, but in the end we all needed help. Sending hugs and love. Hang on in there.
PP
My dad went in for emergency respite under similar circumstances - arranged by SS not the GP - as mum couldnt cope at home. Like your mum dad has stayed put in the home where his respite was provided which we are pleased about as they know him, and he knows them, and it is much less disruptive than being trundled around lots of different places.
His package of home care was hopelessly inadequate. He had 2 visits of 45 minutes each a day plus one hour (yes one hour) sitting service a week so mum could go out!
Exactly as you say, the kind of care he receives could not have been provided at home. For example he had a fall a couple of days ago - a nurse was in his room in a hearbeat, he was assessed, comforted and his little graze dressed, and he was placed under observation for 48 hours (as he bumped his head)
"...Reading above, you live with grandma in her own house?..."
Gran lives in OP's house
"...My gran (who lives in our house)..."
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...-I-do-about-it&p=785475&viewfull=1#post785475
Gran lives in OP's house
"...My gran (who lives in our house)..."
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...-I-do-about-it&p=785475&viewfull=1#post785475
Hi Lisa, I remember things were hard for you a while back. You were being expected to look after gran while Mum and dad worked and you were feeling the strain.
I think it always needs to be a bad situation when there is no money for self funding and the more the family do, well the longer it takes to reach the so-called crisis point.
Is your Mum listening to your opinion now? Would she be prepared to ask SS to step in.
Very difficult I imagine when you all live together.
You might be interested in the posts by Sueshell (I think) who is very much stuck in caring role as she lives next door to her Mum and can't get SS to listen.
As far as I can see, the closer you live and the more you do the harder it is to get SS to take notice. We have all read the stories in the papers recently about how carers have snapped-it is a real danger. But to re-iterate I think you need to get your Mum and Dad to approach SS.
M
I think it always needs to be a bad situation when there is no money for self funding and the more the family do, well the longer it takes to reach the so-called crisis point.
Is your Mum listening to your opinion now? Would she be prepared to ask SS to step in.
Very difficult I imagine when you all live together.
You might be interested in the posts by Sueshell (I think) who is very much stuck in caring role as she lives next door to her Mum and can't get SS to listen.
As far as I can see, the closer you live and the more you do the harder it is to get SS to take notice. We have all read the stories in the papers recently about how carers have snapped-it is a real danger. But to re-iterate I think you need to get your Mum and Dad to approach SS.
M
