My dad has been recently diagnosed with early Alzheimer's, I live about 5 hours away by car, so obviously I cannot go to every appointment with him but his partner does, however I feel very kept in the dark regarding his health and he doesn't remember what he has to do yet his partner doesn't pick the phone up and tell me, if he's been in hospital for emergency (he has in the past) I dont find out until the next couple of days is there anything I can do so I find things out when they happen or before they happen? Thanks in advance x
How can I?
- Thread starter sarahann
- Start date
Your dad's partner will have a lot on her hands, being his main carer etc. Make sure you call regularly, but not just to demand updates, but also to offer support, even if it's just emotional. A good relationship is fostered by regular contact from both sides. It's admirable you want to be kept up to date but make sure it's not a one-sided conversation. All too often carers feel very alone and abandoned by relatives who don't know what it's like to care 24/7. Be understanding and inquire about her health too.
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I have asked her to let me know, my problem is she don't talk to me at all and refuses to discuss my dad with me, im a carer myself but not for someone with Alzheimer's i feel she doesn't do enough for him, and a few people have expressed this to me, he went out in his car tonight alone and he left his phone but she didn't take it to him or get him back for it
I wonder if perhaps your Dad has asked his partner not to tell you too much? He might not want to worry you. the partner's loyalties will obviously be with your Dad (I'm guessing this partner is not your parent?)
It might be that you might have to arrange to make the time to physically visit and maybe spend a couple of days or so bearing in mind the distance, if possible.
Other than that someone posted above about forging a relationship and maybe seeing how the partner is doing too - that sounds like a good plan. My partner makes sure I have food at home and reminds me to eat and take my meds etc even though we don't live together. She has commented a few times now that none of my family seem to be helping or getting involved and none of them have asked her how she is doing, which is upsetting for her.
I get the impression your Dad is trying to remain as independent as he can for as long as he can. If that's the case the people around him have to respect that to a certain degree, as long as he's safe.
All the best.
It might be that you might have to arrange to make the time to physically visit and maybe spend a couple of days or so bearing in mind the distance, if possible.
Other than that someone posted above about forging a relationship and maybe seeing how the partner is doing too - that sounds like a good plan. My partner makes sure I have food at home and reminds me to eat and take my meds etc even though we don't live together. She has commented a few times now that none of my family seem to be helping or getting involved and none of them have asked her how she is doing, which is upsetting for her.
I get the impression your Dad is trying to remain as independent as he can for as long as he can. If that's the case the people around him have to respect that to a certain degree, as long as he's safe.
All the best.
I have spoken to my dad and asked him would he please let me know about any hospital appointments, and he said he will but he forgets, I have tried asking how his partner is but she still doesn't tell me.
I am due to go up in September so hoping to spend a few days with him. I think it's just upsetting that I'm not being kept in the loop about things regarding my dad's health. I am his only child that talks to him which I think makes it worse for me too. Hoping to speak to him today xxx
I am due to go up in September so hoping to spend a few days with him. I think it's just upsetting that I'm not being kept in the loop about things regarding my dad's health. I am his only child that talks to him which I think makes it worse for me too. Hoping to speak to him today xxx
