Home visit by memory clinic

[DandB]

Just a short resume, I had previously been involved with MIL and FIL for 14 years with dementia, one with Alzheimer's and one with Lewy Body Dementia, they both sadly died in 2013 - 6 months apart. During this time I was aware that my own mother was having problems with her memory, I have had to contact her Dr twice over the last year, with concerns about personal hygiene, not bathing for way over a year, not hair washing for way over a year, she uses hair lacquer every day, and her hair is as if it is coated with varnish, she smells. I don't think anyone would be able to wash it all out, i fear they will have to cut her hair off. It looks so bad, my mothers friend, thought she had a plastic covering on her head like a hat. Mum gets very cross if anyone should suggest anything, has refused all help from the CMHT, my Father will cook a midday meal, otherwise she is left to get on with it, he will make sure she is safe. The clothes she has on at the moment she has worn for maybe the last 8 weeks, I am sure she doesn't take them off at bedtime, and she is wearing a coat and scarf all the time, even when the temperature was over 80 a few weeks ago.

Well, after me contacting the Dr. again, the Dr. made another home visit, and has now got the memory clinic to do a home visit, which happened yesterday (Mum has previously refused the memory clinic) my Dad says that the memory clinic Dr. used a hand held portable scanner to Mum's head, and would analyse the results and discuss the findings of yesterdays visit with the team, and would contact them again when this was done.

My question is:- Has anyone every heard about or seen one of these portable scanners? I have never heard them mentioned before, or has my Dad got it wrong.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Pete R]

No never heard of that before but that really doesn't count for much

Give the memory clinic a ring and ask them.

With the way you describe your Mom I am surprised your GP hasn't got a social worker involved or are your parents refusing to accept such "interference"?

 

[DandB]

Thank you Pete R for taking the time to reply to my post. I do understand in the great scheme of things that a scan doesn't count for much, but it may enable medication to be given if the type of dementia is one that could be medicated, I also understand that medication does not necessarily work as we have been in this boat before with the inlaws.

Nobody has been involved with my mother, because the first time her GP was involved, she could obviously see there was a problem with non hair washing etc. but she called in the CMHT. who asked loads of questions, most of which my mother couldn't answer, blood tests were taken by the nurse, and my parents refused help, my father keeps saying that they were told if mum didn't want help she didn't have to have it. When I spoke with the GP. again recently, she said it was a fine line, between mum deciding for herself, or having decisions made for her, when someone looks as bad as my mum, I cannot understand how she can decide anything for herself.

On another note, my parents haven't got on for the last 50 odd years, they don't talk to one another, and I have made the GP. aware of this problem, as my father leaves my mum to her own devices, I am the only daughter involved, my parents haven't spoken to my sister for over 30 years, mum and dad have never met any of their great grandchildren, the eldest of which is 21 - the whole scenario is a nightmare. If I go against them they won't be talking to me, and it's a very fine line before I walk away.

The home visit by the memory clinic, suggested someone coming in to help mum, although my mum refused the first time, I hope they manage to get social services in and she begins to accept help. I also wondered whether this scan my dad talked about, was maybe the Dr. looking into her eyes, maybe to detect vascular problems? and I only wondered whether someone was able to tell me if they had experienced something similar.

My mum is hardly able to string a sensible sentence together, and yet they accept her refusals.

Thank you for your time.

 

[Cloverland]

I've read both your posts and boy you are between the rock and a hard place. It's always a shame when a family doesn't talk to each other but luckily for your mum you do want to help and your siblings need to accept that, their relationship with your mum shouldnt affect yours with them.

Anyhow, I was wondering if the 'scan' was your mums temperature being taken or as you say looking into her eyes. Medication really can make a huge difference. My parents refused help at first but when mum was told she had terminal cancer, I rang their social worker and blasted her into next week, since then she has done her job. Sometimes as a daughter you have to ignore what your parents are saying and talk them round to the help that's there even in small doses. The same with her gp, don't accept what they say always question it, doesn't do them any harm to know there is a person looking out for her.

I've recently had to question both MHT and gp over their refusal to give extra medication, I now have a meeting with our liaison. Having a go does work, you know your mum best if to win her round use kid gloves but to get the end result has got to be good both for your mum and dad. Often it's the illness that prevents your mum from accepting help. Once on medication it will be easier for her personal hygiene. My dad refused to wash, shave, change his clothes but now he washes and has clean clothes everyday with help of course.

Good luck hope you get what you want but don't give up but from what you've said you've been here before, that has got to be harder as you know how your mum's dementia will progress.

 

[DandB]

Thank you Cloverland for replying to my post. I am sorry that your circumstances also bring you to TP.

I have always got on with my sister, and I always keep her informed about our parents, but as I say my parents allieniated themselves from everyone, except poor old me!

I hope that after this recent home memory clinic visit, the ball will start rolling, and then I will step in and ask questions, and speak with social services, but my father has made it known to me I don't know what I am talking about. I feel I am on a knife edge at the moment. I could do Mastermind on Dementia related problems, after the previous 14 years with my lovely in laws, I have been to every Alz. Support Group, Dementia Cafe, Singing for the Brain (Volunteer) I lived and breathed Dementia every day over all those years, was there from the very beginning, sorting absolutely everything en route, until the final end of life care, and yet I know nothing. Hey ho.

With best regards.

 

[Fearnodarkness]

Where on earth can Mum (early dementia) live?

Sorry I shouldn't have posted here, I didn't realise it had sent me back to a thread after I logged in. I don't know how to remove the post so I have edited it out.