help someone I really want info from

[Davekhan]

Hello to everyone my name is Dave my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers early onset she is only 56 and has Diabetes and serious chronic Asthma. The Dr has put her Donepizel 5mg tablets. I am really worried about her I cry all the time every time I look at her I think that she going to leave me I am emotionally as I write. Are there other people on this forum whose family,friends or anybody that you may know in the same position as my mum and me the Dr has said that she has a life expectancy of 5 to 8 years which is too short. All info welcome

Thank you
Dave

 

[Trisha4]

Hi Dave. My husband is 67 and he was diagnosed over a year ago with Alzheimer's. He was also put on donepezil. They seemed to hold things for about 6 months. Since then there has been a very slow deterioration. Unlike your Mum he is physically very fit. We still manage to do lots of things together although he has lost confidence to go anywhere without me except to walk the dog. I know the feeling of desperation and impending loss. All I can say is that we try not to spoil today worrying about tomorrow although, of course, I don't always succeed. There are practical steps to take like power of attorney, attendance allowance, memory cafés, etc. There is help and support available from Alzheimer's society, age concern. In many ways I find the practical side easier than the emotional side so far. I have found support and advice on here which I hope you do too. You can say anything as everyone understands. I'm sure we'll communicate again. You have my best wishes.

 

[Davekhan]

Hi Dave. My husband is 67 and he was diagnosed over a year ago with Alzheimer's. He was also put on donepezil. They seemed to hold things for about 6 months. Since then there has been a very slow deterioration. Unlike your Mum he is physically very fit. We still manage to do lots of things together although he has lost confidence to go anywhere without me except to walk the dog. I know the feeling of desperation and impending loss. All I can say is that we try not to spoil today worrying about tomorrow although, of course, I don't always succeed. There are practical steps to take like power of attorney, attendance allowance, memory cafés, etc. There is help and support available from Alzheimer's society, age concern. In many ways I find the practical side easier than the emotional side so far. I have found support and advice on here which I hope you do too. You can say anything as everyone understands. I'm sure we'll communicate again. You have my best wishes.

Thank very much for your support if you don't mind what did the Dr say to your husband about life expectancy.

 

[Trisha4]

We have had no comments at all on life expectancy. Could it be more about your Mum's other illnesses than the Alzheimer's?

 

[just_dolphin]

Hello to everyone my name is Dave my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers early onset she is only 56 and has Diabetes and serious chronic Asthma. The Dr has put her Donepizel 5mg tablets. I am really worried about her I cry all the time every time I look at her I think that she going to leave me I am emotionally as I write. Are there other people on this forum whose family,friends or anybody that you may know in the same position as my mum and me the Dr has said that she has a life expectancy of 5 to 8 years which is too short. All info welcome

Thank you
Dave

Hi Dave

I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

I am in a pretty similar situation to you I think. My mum was diagnosed in febuary and the doctor that came to see us and tell us said that mum is looking at no more than 8-10 years but of course this is average and can be differnt for everyone. I think being told this is due to other health issues as my mum also has diabetes, ashma and very bad back pain. I can completely understand how you feel as I find myself crying a lot and getting very upset and angry at why this is happening and when im not trying to help her and be positive and try to just enjoy life, I am scared of her leaveing me. As lots of people have told me you really do just have to take each day as it comes and try and enjoy all the good days. There will be some bad ones but the good ones are what matters. Do you have support?

sam x

 

[Kate and jack]

Davekhan
Hope your ok ,just to say welcome to the forum keep posting your concerns ,everyone will understand you as we are all in the same boat,and are dealing with all sorts of emotions xx

 

[Davekhan]

Help I need advice

We have had no comments at all on life expectancy. Could it be more about your Mum's other illnesses than the Alzheimer's?

The Diabetes she was diagnosed 2 years ago and asthma she has had that for about 18 years but she gets a chest infection every three 4 weeks which we don't no why she is getting these. actually she also has high blood pressure and cholesterol these two have just come to my mind. But the Dr who gave us the result just said that we will give her medication it will not cure it it will just slow it down and the short life expectancy as mentioned above. Thank You

 

[Trisha4]

The Diabetes she was diagnosed 2 years ago and asthma she has had that for about 18 years but she gets a chest infection every three 4 weeks which we don't no why she is getting these. actually she also has high blood pressure and cholesterol these two have just come to my mind. But the Dr who gave us the result just said that we will give her medication it will not cure it it will just slow it down and the short life expectancy as mentioned above. Thank You

Hi Dave, I hope you manage to keep enjoying what you can still do with her now even though you might have to make some adaptations. Keep posting. There are lots of us out here!

 

[Kijo]

Hi Dave,
I just wanted to let you know that this is a very emotional time for everyone affected, and sometimes it is easier, and sometimes tougher. I cried for about 6 months straight after my husband was diagnosed with early on-set dementia about 1-1/2 years ago (although we suspect it goes back further to at least 2009); he is only 56 now.
Part of your tears is fear, and part may be depression - talk to your doctor so you can look after yourself during this trying time, and be as supportive as you can for your mom. I think her doctor must be taking more than the dementia into account for your mom's life expectancy, as everyone is different. My husband is also on the same medication, but there are no guarantees it works so he may be the way he is now for years (mild to moderate dementia), or he may deteriorate fast - no one knows for sure.
I hope you can try to find a place of balance so you can live in the now, and enjoy all the time you have with your mom.

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Dave
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 5 years ago at 56, we're still here.
OK life has changed but we managed it so far, we spent the weekend on our narrowboat and intend to do the same thing for the bank holiday weekend coming up. Yes she's deaf and has COPD and a thyroid problem too but the longer you carry on as if everything was normal the easier it seems (to me anyway).
The longer she can stay out of the "patient"/"burden" mentality the better, carry on as normal and just keep you eye on things, jump in when needed but don't take over. Asthma and Diabetes are perfectly manageable conditions and Alzheimer's isn't life threatening either, I hope the doctor didn't put a number on her years left on this planet because you asked or was doing the doctor macho thing some of them do.
It's just another of life's challenges, come on here get some help and advice and make the most of things.
You've got to accentuate the positive
eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
in the words of the song.
K

 

[Davekhan]

Worried about my mum

Hi Dave
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 5 years ago at 56, we're still here.
OK life has changed but we managed it so far, we spent the weekend on our narrowboat and intend to do the same thing for the bank holiday weekend coming up. Yes she's deaf and has COPD and a thyroid problem too but the longer you carry on as if everything was normal the easier it seems (to me anyway).
The longer she can stay out of the "patient"/"burden" mentality the better, carry on as normal and just keep you eye on things, jump in when needed but don't take over. Asthma and Diabetes are perfectly manageable conditions and Alzheimer's isn't life threatening either, I hope the doctor didn't put a number on her years left on this planet because you asked or was doing the doctor macho thing some of them do.
It's just another of life's challenges, come on here get some help and advice and make the most of things.
You've got to accentuate the positive
eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
in the words of the song.
K

Thank you very much for the support and I am so happy that your wife is still going after 5 years after being diagnosed I pray god not for just my mum but all of the people out there who have Alzheimers that they have a good life. Me my self I just can not come to terms with it that this has happened to my mum I have been on sick leave from work for 2 weeks I don't no how I am going to go back I just feel like sitting there with my mum looking at her.

 

[Trisha4]

Hi Dave
My wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 5 years ago at 56, we're still here.
OK life has changed but we managed it so far, we spent the weekend on our narrowboat and intend to do the same thing for the bank holiday weekend coming up. Yes she's deaf and has COPD and a thyroid problem too but the longer you carry on as if everything was normal the easier it seems (to me anyway).
The longer she can stay out of the "patient"/"burden" mentality the better, carry on as normal and just keep you eye on things, jump in when needed but don't take over. Asthma and Diabetes are perfectly manageable conditions and Alzheimer's isn't life threatening either, I hope the doctor didn't put a number on her years left on this planet because you asked or was doing the doctor macho thing some of them do.
It's just another of life's challenges, come on here get some help and advice and make the most of things.
You've got to accentuate the positive
eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
in the words of the song.
K

Kevin I love your response. Thank you. We are about to go on a sailing ship round the Greek Islands for a week. I love your positive approach and totally agree with it.

 

[Davekhan]

Help wanted

Hi everyone its Dave like I have said before mum has other problems other than Alzheimer's but she constantly has this head pain which makes her emotionally cry many times a day she feels as if her head is really hot and then complains that her brain going to get crushed together. Has any one else had this kind of head pain as its driving my mum mad.

 

[Pushka]

Hi everyone its Dave like I have said before mum has other problems other than Alzheimer's but she constantly has this head pain which makes her emotionally cry many times a day she feels as if her head is really hot and then complains that her brain going to get crushed together. Has any one else had this kind of head pain as its driving my mum mad.

Maybe have her checked for cluster headaches, some people are chronic, some episodic but your description fits.

 

[Kevinl]

Hi everyone its Dave like I have said before mum has other problems other than Alzheimer's but she constantly has this head pain which makes her emotionally cry many times a day she feels as if her head is really hot and then complains that her brain going to get crushed together. Has any one else had this kind of head pain as its driving my mum mad.

See the link below there is a school of thought that says people with Alzheimer's do get head pains I believe my wife did in the early stages, when she became withdrawn and as you say emotional I gave her pain killers, I really think they helped, it went on for the first couple of years just 2 tablets seemed to work for days.
K
http://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/news/20060922/pain-problem-in-alzheimers-disease

 

[Saffie]

Dave, just to agree with what others here have said. Forget the number of years your doctor mentioned. He cannot know and we have members here whose relatives have passed the 8-10 years.
A lot depends on when people are given a diagnosis anyway. I can now see , in retrospect, that my husband had signs way before he was diagnosed but we put them down to 'getting older'.
On the other hand, he had to have an emergency operation and his conditioned very quickly deteriorated. So, you never really know. It is best to concentrate on the quality rather than the quantity of years left to your mother. Make the most of today - please - I wish we had. You never know what tomorrow may bring.

 

[Izzy]

Good morning Dave.

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 13 years ago. On thinking back I would say that he was showing signs of this for a while before the diagnosis. Life expectancy has never been mentioned to us at any appointments over the years. Of course I have googled and read posts on TP about life expectancy but everyone is different and I don't believe it is possible or indeed advisable to try to work out how long someone has left as it were.

I agree totally with other posters on the thread and would say that hard though it is it is much better to try to focus on positives and make life as good as possible for both the person with dementia and the carer/s. We have lived a full life since diagnosis. It is, admittedly, a different life to the one I would have wanted but it has still been a full one. As the disease progresses you have to change your thoughts on what is possible. It isn't easy to always remain positive but for me the alternative is for us both to be miserable and I won't allow that to happen.

I know that things like infections get in the way a lot. My husband had repeated infections from around last June to very recently. Thankfully he is infection free at the moment (I hope I'm not tempting fate here!).

I wish you strength to cope with all there is in front of you and send you and your mum best wishes.