Hello

[Robinjg]

I'm Robin and need help caring for my wife. She has been diagnosed with alzheimer's but refuses to acknowledge it- the other diagnosis by the GP was "lacking in insight".
The current difficulty I have is getting her to go to bed at night. Sometimes she simply refuses and stays up all night sorting out clothes, with which she is obsessed. Or she starts to get undressed then dresses again. Or gets up in the middle of the night. Either way it is very unsettling for myself and my own health.
Ideas welcome.

 

[maggie6445]

I'm Robin and need help caring for my wife. She has been diagnosed with alzheimer's but refuses to acknowledge it- the other diagnosis by the GP was "lacking in insight".
The current difficulty I have is getting her to go to bed at night. Sometimes she simply refuses and stays up all night sorting out clothes, with which she is obsessed. Or she starts to get undressed then dresses again. Or gets up in the middle of the night. Either way it is very unsettling for myself and my own health.
Ideas welcome.

Hello @Robinjg , I'm sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis. My OH hasn't refused to accept his diagnosis but he has never mentioned it at all. I don't think he understands it.

I think the starting to get undressed and then dressing again is a common thing . My OH does this morning and night and it drives me crazy. it takes such a long time to get him dressed and undressed each time. I have two friends whose husband's have dementia and they are the same! I think they forget whether they are taking off or putting on each item.

Once someone with dementia loses the ability to tell the time then wanting to go to bed or refusing to go becomes a problem . My OH can want to go to bed at 2 pm if he's been up early and I've also had him refuse to go to bed if he wants to go out. I try to have a strict routine ,up same time ,out each day, and I find he accepts bedtime better.

Have you mentioned this to your GP. My GP has given me an anti anxiety tablet to give as and when needed if he gets too stubborn and and won't settle.

Sleep deprivation is an issue for me as my oh gets up in night for the toilet,sometimes twice and needs supervision .

Have you you thought about carers or a sitter / friend to take your wife out so you can catch up on your sleep?

I'm sorry but caring isn't easy. You're right to want to look after yourself.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Robinjg and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your wife. What you describe sounds very much like a phase that my wife went through: always changing clothes, difficulty with sequencing, and not being aware about day or night.

I could usually get her to go to bed, albeit fully dressed. By then I had already recognised that to get some rest we needed to sleep in separate rooms. I wasn't sure if this would work but after a couple of disturbed nights she seemed to accept the arrangements. In fact, despite me not being there, she believed that we were still sleeping in the same bed.

Caring for someone with Alzheimer's Disease is hard. Now that you have joined us I hope that the support that you find here will ease some of the load.