Hi I'm new here.My lovely mummy has been diagnosed with mix alz and dementia and am trying to cope.
Hello im new here.My lovely mummy has veen diagnosed with mix Alz and Dementia.I am her main carer.
- Thread starter Sarah Birmingham
- Start date
hello @Sarah Birmingham
a warm welcome to DTP
those early days after a diagnosis can feel overwhelming as it takes time to come to terms with knowing the reason for the changes you've been noticing
I'm glad you've joined this supportive community as you can offload here among folk who understand, so have a read around the forums and the main AS site (through button extreme top right) and post with whatever is on your mind
best wishes to you and your mum
a warm welcome to DTP
those early days after a diagnosis can feel overwhelming as it takes time to come to terms with knowing the reason for the changes you've been noticing
I'm glad you've joined this supportive community as you can offload here among folk who understand, so have a read around the forums and the main AS site (through button extreme top right) and post with whatever is on your mind
best wishes to you and your mum
Hello @Sarah Birmingham
It can feel very lonely when a loved one has dementia but there are lots of us out here to help you along, so just post whenever you need advice or support - or just to tell us how things are going and how you are feeling.
We all understand how difficult it can be and you are very welcome here.
It can feel very lonely when a loved one has dementia but there are lots of us out here to help you along, so just post whenever you need advice or support - or just to tell us how things are going and how you are feeling.
We all understand how difficult it can be and you are very welcome here.
Hi @Sarah Birmingham, welcome and I feel for you and know that many on here will empathise and help through their own experiences dealing with loved ones and Dementia.
Hello @Sarah Birmingham -welcome to the forum. This place has been a godsend for me over the last two years or so -I hope you find it useful and supportive
Welcome to the forum. People on here are so kind and supportive, it’s a unique group of people who truly understand what you and your mum are going through.
I am a second timer on here and I can genuinely say that this group got me through one of the hardest times in my life with my dad and I am sure they will get me through again now my mum has developed Alzheimer’s.
I am a second timer on here and I can genuinely say that this group got me through one of the hardest times in my life with my dad and I am sure they will get me through again now my mum has developed Alzheimer’s.
Hi. I only joined myself few months ago having spent over a year reading posts. From what I've seen, someone will always be able to help you from their own experiences and everyone knows how you think or feel without you having to say it.
Dear @Sarah Birmingham
My Dementia journey with mum ended 2/2/2021, after six years of intensifying caring. The pain is still raw, but I still visit this site. It helped me and others have replied to your thread stating the same. I imagine you right now could do with some useful support. Let me say a few things. They may not resonate with your thoughts right now, but on your coming journey they will at some point. No two Dementia journeys are identical but there are certain underlying themes which come up.
1) The point of diagnosis can be an emotionally overwhelming time, for the loved one with Dementia and their loved ones. Okay take a deep breath and take a few moments to silently reflect. You most likely suspected your mum had some type of Dementia, but having it confirmed is a different thing. The world looks the same but it feels different. You love your mum, but perhaps are concerned how you can help her in future? Your love, support and compassion will be crucial to her in the future. Much will no doubt change, but always remember your love for her is all important.
2) Please do not ruin today by trying to anticipate what may happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Dementia is a degenerative illness, you will be faced with increasing challenges, very likely heart breaking moments. Hard as it might be to accept the fact, but you will also develop as a person and learn to better cope with this uncertain future. You will learn new skills, patience, when to step back, when to seek help on this forum, to learn that good enough is acceptable in tiring caring moments, not always quest for perfection. No matter what the future holds always remember the very simple adage, “you are part of the solution, not the problem”.
3) I have no idea of your circumstances. On a practical level have you got Lasting Powers of Attorney in place for finance and health and welfare? If not and your mum has the capacity to do so please try and get them in place. When dealing with the stresses of the later stages of Dementia, having them will make your journey easier. You need to be realistic in your aim. I lived with my mum for many years. As her illness progressed I slipped from full time employment to part time to full time carer. I had no family ties to pull me in another direction eg young children or another sick relative needing my attention. Mum died of heart failure but I was committed to try and keep her at home until the gradual end through Dementia. To be honest the illness may have beaten me. Just be mindful of what your physical and emotional limits might be, do not break yourself fighting Dementia, it is a relentless foe.
Please do post again when you need help, guidance, just a need to rant. The beauty of this forum is that members own the tee shirt, know what it is like to care for a loved one with Dementia. Different levels of experience, but a unique club. No one wants to be a member, we would all wish our loved ones were well. That said we will all help each other, never judge another’s comments, seek to offer support. Please be gentle with yourself as well as your loved one. Best wishes for the future.
PS Reading this through at times I see me talking as if mum was still in the room (we all wish our loved ones were well). I guess my way of dealing with grief is to talk to her each day, regard her as now not totally gone, just on a different plain.
My Dementia journey with mum ended 2/2/2021, after six years of intensifying caring. The pain is still raw, but I still visit this site. It helped me and others have replied to your thread stating the same. I imagine you right now could do with some useful support. Let me say a few things. They may not resonate with your thoughts right now, but on your coming journey they will at some point. No two Dementia journeys are identical but there are certain underlying themes which come up.
1) The point of diagnosis can be an emotionally overwhelming time, for the loved one with Dementia and their loved ones. Okay take a deep breath and take a few moments to silently reflect. You most likely suspected your mum had some type of Dementia, but having it confirmed is a different thing. The world looks the same but it feels different. You love your mum, but perhaps are concerned how you can help her in future? Your love, support and compassion will be crucial to her in the future. Much will no doubt change, but always remember your love for her is all important.
2) Please do not ruin today by trying to anticipate what may happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Dementia is a degenerative illness, you will be faced with increasing challenges, very likely heart breaking moments. Hard as it might be to accept the fact, but you will also develop as a person and learn to better cope with this uncertain future. You will learn new skills, patience, when to step back, when to seek help on this forum, to learn that good enough is acceptable in tiring caring moments, not always quest for perfection. No matter what the future holds always remember the very simple adage, “you are part of the solution, not the problem”.
3) I have no idea of your circumstances. On a practical level have you got Lasting Powers of Attorney in place for finance and health and welfare? If not and your mum has the capacity to do so please try and get them in place. When dealing with the stresses of the later stages of Dementia, having them will make your journey easier. You need to be realistic in your aim. I lived with my mum for many years. As her illness progressed I slipped from full time employment to part time to full time carer. I had no family ties to pull me in another direction eg young children or another sick relative needing my attention. Mum died of heart failure but I was committed to try and keep her at home until the gradual end through Dementia. To be honest the illness may have beaten me. Just be mindful of what your physical and emotional limits might be, do not break yourself fighting Dementia, it is a relentless foe.
Please do post again when you need help, guidance, just a need to rant. The beauty of this forum is that members own the tee shirt, know what it is like to care for a loved one with Dementia. Different levels of experience, but a unique club. No one wants to be a member, we would all wish our loved ones were well. That said we will all help each other, never judge another’s comments, seek to offer support. Please be gentle with yourself as well as your loved one. Best wishes for the future.
PS Reading this through at times I see me talking as if mum was still in the room (we all wish our loved ones were well). I guess my way of dealing with grief is to talk to her each day, regard her as now not totally gone, just on a different plain.
My mummy is now having sleep disturbance.2 days no sleep than I have to be present to try and get her to sleep.She then sleeps v deeply.She is upset of imaginary people around her.Any ideas.
My wife sees other people and/or children, in the room or in the garden during the day. She doesn't seem too worried by them and isn't scared. They don't often stay long, which I put down to her v short attention span or concentration. Then v soon forgotten until the next time.
Hi @Sarah Birmingham. Maybe your mummy needs something to make her sleep deeper or longer so the disturbance only stays in the dreamland. Do you have a psychiatric nurse, or dementia hub, in your area with whom you can speak, otherwise its joining the telephone queue for the GP
Hi @Sarah Birmingham. Maybe your mummy needs something to make her sleep deeper or longer so the disturbance only stays in the dreamland. Do you have a psychiatric nurse, or dementia hub, in your area with whom you can speak, otherwise its joining the telephone queue for the GP
Hi Sarah I have been a carer for my dad with picks disease and mixed dementia for 8 years
It's a different kind of dementia but if you have any questions feel free to ask
Hi Sarah Three years down the line and still visit this forum, support and information so needed and this is 24/7. Take care it's not an easy journey, thinking of you all.
Hi thanks something to explore dementia hub.Gp prescribed sleeping tablets I'm afraid to give as already uneasy on feet.
The situation here in Wolverhampton is you either the patient of the memory clinic or the gp surgery.
Oh thankyou.Do you work too? I am caring for mummy and working full time been over 2.5 years and feel exhausted.I hope my mummy comes out of this staying awake nights
