Hello ?
I’m new here.
My darling husband is 20 years old than me. He is 69 next week.
We have been together just under 17 years. I treasure those years but wish we had had more. However, I should be grateful for all the precious time we have had together.
I started realising something was wrong last year. After tests in the autumn/winter, my husband was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in January this year.
He was supposed to have another brainscan in the spring to check against the baseline scan, but this is currently not possible.
It is so cruel. He was a professional musician but can no longer perform or conduct. He seems to be declining quite rapidly. Perhaps it is partly due to the stress of the lockdown.
I’m finding it tough even though we’re not at a stage where it is unrelentless.
Bit by bit he is already leaving me.
In one way I know that I will be privileged to be the person there for him at the end of his life. But I’m scared of what is to come.
I bought a pressure pad for the bed which sets off an alarm when he gets up in the night, as a couple of times he was confused and was going to wee in the wrong place (kitchen sink/over the loo roll).
I also lock the doors and hide the keys at night so we both know that he can’t leave the house by mistake. This is because one night he tried to leave the house instead of going to the bathroom ?.
With the coronavirus pandemic he has, understandably, become extremely anxious. We have not walked outside of our garden since 20th March, and I have slept in a separate room since 15th March as he is worried about breathing in germs in the night.
We are trying to stay physically apart as this makes him feel safer.
However, I’m sure the lack of human touch is not helping him mentally. It certainly isn’t helping me.
I was made redundant in September from a college where I had worked for the last 16 years. This was an enormous shock to both of us and I was suicidal (long story ... history of depression, GAD and PTSD). Me being suicidal was not helpful for my husband. I think this also worsened his condition. I feel guilty for what he went through because of what I was going through.
I started a new job, part-time, in February and am working from home during the lockdown, but seriously wonder whether I should stop work to spend as much time as possible with him (gardening etc) while he is still ‘there’ in the daytime. I have a contract until August (if I pass the probationary period).
I don’t want to distress my husband by resigning after having been made redundant recently. Also, it would be upsetting for him if I told him the reason I would like to stop work.
If anyone reads this - thank you for having listened.
I’m new here.
My darling husband is 20 years old than me. He is 69 next week.
We have been together just under 17 years. I treasure those years but wish we had had more. However, I should be grateful for all the precious time we have had together.
I started realising something was wrong last year. After tests in the autumn/winter, my husband was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in January this year.
He was supposed to have another brainscan in the spring to check against the baseline scan, but this is currently not possible.
It is so cruel. He was a professional musician but can no longer perform or conduct. He seems to be declining quite rapidly. Perhaps it is partly due to the stress of the lockdown.
I’m finding it tough even though we’re not at a stage where it is unrelentless.
Bit by bit he is already leaving me.
In one way I know that I will be privileged to be the person there for him at the end of his life. But I’m scared of what is to come.
I bought a pressure pad for the bed which sets off an alarm when he gets up in the night, as a couple of times he was confused and was going to wee in the wrong place (kitchen sink/over the loo roll).
I also lock the doors and hide the keys at night so we both know that he can’t leave the house by mistake. This is because one night he tried to leave the house instead of going to the bathroom ?.
With the coronavirus pandemic he has, understandably, become extremely anxious. We have not walked outside of our garden since 20th March, and I have slept in a separate room since 15th March as he is worried about breathing in germs in the night.
We are trying to stay physically apart as this makes him feel safer.
However, I’m sure the lack of human touch is not helping him mentally. It certainly isn’t helping me.
I was made redundant in September from a college where I had worked for the last 16 years. This was an enormous shock to both of us and I was suicidal (long story ... history of depression, GAD and PTSD). Me being suicidal was not helpful for my husband. I think this also worsened his condition. I feel guilty for what he went through because of what I was going through.
I started a new job, part-time, in February and am working from home during the lockdown, but seriously wonder whether I should stop work to spend as much time as possible with him (gardening etc) while he is still ‘there’ in the daytime. I have a contract until August (if I pass the probationary period).
I don’t want to distress my husband by resigning after having been made redundant recently. Also, it would be upsetting for him if I told him the reason I would like to stop work.
If anyone reads this - thank you for having listened.
