Hello 👋 Carer for my mum in law who has cognitive impairment

[kitty69cat]

Hello to everyone. I am reaching out to people who understand this condition as I am finding it incredibly difficult to manage full time.
My mum in law was diagnosed two years ago with cognitive impairment and with no support offered or medication ( which I only recently discovered, existed).
As she lives with me and my husband we are living with this full time and at times it can take its toll. I feel sad she doesn't remember the present or the memories we are making. She didn't remember her Christmas gifts, she lost gifts she bought others.
It's the constant repeating which I personally found difficult. With three autistic males in the house there is little to no understanding of the impact this has. To them she has lost her mind etc which isn't helpful.
I have ADHD and my tolerance for repetitive behaviour is something I find hard to manage.
I mentioned seeing the doctor about medication and she has withdrawn from me like I have signed her death warrant. My husband is noticing the decline which to me isn't over a long period and I worry if she doesn't want my help no one else in the house will do anything to help.
she has a daughter who doesn't want to help or anything and i feel quite alone.

can anyone else relate

thanks catherine

 

[chickenlady]

Hello to everyone. I am reaching out to people who understand this condition as I am finding it incredibly difficult to manage full time.
My mum in law was diagnosed two years ago with cognitive impairment and with no support offered or medication ( which I only recently discovered, existed).
As she lives with me and my husband we are living with this full time and at times it can take its toll. I feel sad she doesn't remember the present or the memories we are making. She didn't remember her Christmas gifts, she lost gifts she bought others.
It's the constant repeating which I personally found difficult. With three autistic males in the house there is little to no understanding of the impact this has. To them she has lost her mind etc which isn't helpful.
I have ADHD and my tolerance for repetitive behaviour is something I find hard to manage.
I mentioned seeing the doctor about medication and she has withdrawn from me like I have signed her death warrant. My husband is noticing the decline which to me isn't over a long period and I worry if she doesn't want my help no one else in the house will do anything to help.
she has a daughter who doesn't want to help or anything and i feel quite alone.

can anyone else relate

thanks catherine

You need the help and support of your local memory clinic and the best way to get this is through the GP, phone and make an appointment to talk to her GP, he should be able to make it seem as though it is a routine follow-up from her diagnosis.

 

[kitty69cat]

You need the help and support of your local memory clinic and the best way to get this is through the GP, phone and make an appointment to talk to her GP, he should be able to make it seem as though it is a routine follow-up from her diagnosis.

Thank you. I will speak to my husband and sister in law to progress anything as no one thinks she needs help but she really does.

 

[canary]

I would also contact Social Services and ask for a needs assessment. I think something like day care, or a befriender who could take her out might help.
I will warn you, though, that if your MIL declines any help, SS will not override her wishes unless she is at risk of harm, but at the very least it will put you and her on SS radar

 

[SherwoodSue]

My heart goes out to you. Neurodiversity and early dementia are quite a combination.
The help needed asap I would say, is for yourself. You will know the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes is often absent in autism. They love you, they care but may not ‘get it’ even when it is spelt out
(how you are feeling and why)
You want help for MIL but there isn’t a magic bullet for cognitive impairment but helps us to have a formal diagnosis which explains what is happening at home.
So I would plug into help for your self
Post here do
Use helplines
I got a counsellor
As I say my heart goes out to you