Guidance needed .

[Spanish sis]

My lovely sister was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 3 years ago. She lives with her husband who is 13 years her junior but unfortunately he also has no short term memory due to meningitis in his teens and is partially disabled due to a stroke so they both rely on daily carers and diabetic nurse care for my sister who also is diabetic.
I have been living in Spain for almost 7 years now and return as often as I can but her main carer is her son who lives very close by. This has worked as well as could be hoped for until 10 days ago when my brother in law was taken into hospital and shockingly I was told last night that he is in a bad way and not expected to survive !!
I am going to my sister next Tuesday but I am really struggling with what to tell my sister? Not sure she is fully aware of where he is just that he is not at home. Would it upset her more to take her to see him ? Would it be kinder not to? I'm not sure how much she understands. I can't imagine how she will cope on her own if it does come to that.

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome to Dementia Support Forum @Spanish sis. I’m sorry that such a sad and difficult situation has brought you here.
It might be an idea to wait till you arrive in the UK before making a decision as to whether seeing her husband is a good idea or not. I’d also spend time with your nephew working out what support your sister will need in the future. Does any one have https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney ? If not it might be worth exploring if your sister still has capacity to grant that. It will probably also be worth talking to her social worker about extra support.
This is a very friendly and supportive community and I’m sure others will be along soon with their ideas and suggestions.