Funerals

[jay6]

Thought I'd just share this one.
A few years ago my OH and I went to funeral of a man we'd met met at a stroke group. We didn't know him that well but became friends with things in common.
It was the first funeral we'd ever enjoyed, with lots of laughter. Yes I can see you all frown but it was amazing.
When we turned up, we were shocked to see how many were in colourful outfits. His wife was in a bright red dress.
The service was light with wonderful memories shared. His chosen song was 'Sprit in the sky' for those who don't know it the song goes,

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky

He had worked in a numbers of shows before his stroke and enjoyed his time working on the set of the Muppets. We left the service to the sound of the signature song playing.

Instead of people in tears, people talked with much love. It really made my OH and I think about our funerals. (before PWD) I can't deny there were some frowns and discussed people who thought it was terrible that there wasn't any thing religious about the service and did nothing but make nasty comments about his widow and her red dress, but it was something him and his wife had both planned together and I felt should be respected, even if not all agreed.
They really believed they would meet again and the love they had for each other was obviously very strong. I'm not saying his wife wasn't upset at her loss or that she hadn't cried. No doubt she felt so alone and sad on her return home, but it certainly helped her cope with such a sad loss at his funeral.
I spoke with her for a few months after but loss contact as it her her husband we'd become friends with. (She had many, many friends due to her husbands job) But she did say that although he wasn't there, she felt his presence very strongly around their home which gave her great comfort.

We are expected to where black to morn those that leave, but its made me realise, funerals don't have to be so sad.
My OH and I decided we don't want anyone in black at ours.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Thought I'd just share this one.
A few years ago my OH and I went to funeral of a man we'd met met at a stroke group. We didn't know him that well but became friends with things in common.
It was the first funeral we'd ever enjoyed, with lots of laughter. Yes I can see you all frown but it was amazing.
When we turned up, we were shocked to see how many were in colourful outfits. His wife was in a bright red dress.
The service was light with wonderful memories shared. His chosen song was 'Sprit in the sky' for those who don't know it the song goes,

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky

He had worked in a numbers of shows before his stroke and enjoyed his time working on the set of the Muppets. We left the service to the sound of the signature song playing.

Instead of people in tears, people talked with much love. It really made my OH and I think about our funerals. (before PWD) I can't deny there were some frowns and discussed people who thought it was terrible that there wasn't any thing religious about the service and did nothing but make nasty comments about his widow and her red dress, but it was something him and his wife had both planned together and I felt should be respected, even if not all agreed.
They really believed they would meet again and the love they had for each other was obviously very strong. I'm not saying his wife wasn't upset at her loss or that she hadn't cried. No doubt she felt so alone and sad on her return home, but it certainly helped her cope with such a sad loss at his funeral.
I spoke with her for a few months after but loss contact as it her her husband we'd become friends with. (She had many, many friends due to her husbands job) But she did say that although he wasn't there, she felt his presence very strongly around their home which gave her great comfort.

We are expected to where black to morn those that leave, but its made me realise, funerals don't have to be so sad.
My OH and I decided we don't want anyone in black at ours.

Sounds like you had a nice time. I think most funerals nowadays are a celebration of a persons life and the music chosen is often more fitting than the traditional hymns that we used to have. My son played his guitar and sang a couple of sea shanties at his grandad's funeral and I my chosen song was 'Somewhere beyond the sea' by Bobby Darin, dad was a seaman and he would have approved. My friend's mum who had bounced back and forth from Australia to the UK all her life because she couldn't decide where she liked best had 'Waltzing Matilda' for her final tune.

I remember 'Spirit in the sky' Great song, it reminds me of being at school.

 

[jennifer1967]

ive seen notices where it has said please wear bright colours. no black to be worn. my mum had lady in red by chris de burgh at hers. i always fancied a jazz band leading a procession like in america. hes decided not to have a funeral but just cremation. we can then go out for a meal or something and remember him in happier times. he actually wanted bat out of hell from meatloaf but maybe thats a step too far.

 

[Kas 0103]

ive seen notices where it has said please wear bright colours. no black to be worn. my mum had lady in red by chris de burgh at hers. i always fancied a jazz band leading a procession like in america. hes decided not to have a funeral but just cremation. we can then go out for a meal or something and remember him in happier times. he actually wanted bat out of hell from meatloaf but maybe thats a step too far.

My beloved auntie, my godmother, had Dancing Queen as her final music, it was perfect!

 

[CAL Y]

My late husband was a happy cheerful man before dementia and we went through enough misery so I decided on a bright red patterned tunic top over black trousers and my side of the aisle in the crematorium were similarly dressed.
In contrast, his estranged children ( who hardly saw him and definitely gave me no help) were all in black. The other side of the aisle looked like something out of Victorian times.
The wake lasted 10 hours with lots of music etc and I was the last to leave along with my sister and BIL.
We still grieved but I am more in favour of a celebration of life And what a fantastic life we had together.
Im sure his family thought I was awful but I know which he would have preferred.

 

[Lawson58]

Only last week, I attended a funeral at a roller skating arena and we were asked to wear a touch of green.

The lady who died had been a brilliant roller skater and spent many hours at the venue and had asked for the funeral to be held there. It was very different and along with the audience, her two little much loved dogs also attended wearing bright green bows on their collars.

It was lovely and when it was over, her two young adult daughters took to rink and skated a little dance in her honour.

I think I would like the song ‘Checking Out’ by Meryl Streep to be sung at my celebration. Those who know me well would get the point.

 

[Duggies-girl]

My beloved auntie, my godmother, had Dancing Queen as her final music, it was perfect!

Dancing Queen, Oh I love that, I may have to steal that one for myself.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

My partner wasn't religious so we had a non religious service at the crematorium. Everyone apart from one neighbour said the service was lovely. My neighbour said he was quite 'upset'and taken aback at no religious content but to me it would have been hypocritical and not what my partner would have wanted. To us the service was perfect. We had music a eulogy read by my daughter and the celebrant read out some poems and a little bit about his life. At my sister-in-law's funeral last month a giant Winnie the Pooh travelled in the hearse his arm fell across the coffin when they put him in so they left Winnie the Pooh like that she was a massive fan and had several trips to Euro Disney. Winnie the Pooh also sat next to the coffin during the service. I had flowers done in reds and yellows as think she would have loved them. My brother-in-law said his wife would want people to wear whatever they felt comfortable in and any colour was fine, he just said no jeans please.

 

[CAL Y]

I do think that just turning up to pay your respects is far more important that what you wear.
At the funeral of our son in law many people just took an hour off work and I saw people there still in their supermarket uniforms.
Far more respectful than hypocrites wearing black.

 

[notsogooddtr]

No funeral for me or husband, we have opted for direct cremation.

 

[jay6]

Nice to see how funerals are changing.

@notsogooddtr Like that idea myself

 

[jennifer1967]

thats what we are doing. hes already done and paid for but hes now wanting to do mine. it just makes sense as you can do something more amenable at home

 

[Banjomansmate]

I tried to tell The Banjoman’s life story through music, starting with Parry’s “I Was Glad” which was a favourite one he sang as a chorister at St. Margaret’s, Westminster. There was one of his own recordings, songs chosen by his family including George Formby “Leaning on a Lamp” which he used to do, and finishing with Joe Brown’s version of “I’ll See You In My Dreams” which we used to do together.
I wore a bright jade green coat that he liked and underneath a white polo neck jumper he’d chosen and bought for me, a belt, likewise and pair of tight black jeans and long boots. All things I knew he would have wanted to see me wearing!
The wake went on ‘till late in the evening with Bluegrass playing as all his friends joined in. I had to leave after a couple of hours to get home for my dogs but I know everyone had a good time.

 

[jennifer1967]

with my mum, she was all about glitter especially at christmas but any other time too so she was dressed in things with glitter on them for her burial. with my nan, i chose a shroud in her favourite blue colour. i didnt want for her to be dressed like she was just going down the shops. it maybe a generational thing, my mum was 57 when she died and was out lived by her mum who died at 96. i think that it depends the people that die as to the approach of the funeral.

 

[CAL Y]

I tried to tell The Banjoman’s life story through music, starting with Parry’s “I Was Glad” which was a favourite one he sang as a chorister at St. Margaret’s, Westminster. There was one of his own recordings, songs chosen by his family including George Formby “Leaning on a Lamp” which he used to do, and finishing with Joe Brown’s version of “I’ll See You In My Dreams” which we used to do together.
I wore a bright jade green coat that he liked and underneath a white polo neck jumper he’d chosen and bought for me, a belt, likewise and pair of tight black jeans and long boots. All things I knew he would have wanted to see me wearing!
The wake went on ‘till late in the evening with Bluegrass playing as all his friends joined in. I had to leave after a couple of hours to get home for my dogs but I know everyone had a good time.

Sounds like my kind of bash. I love your outfit without seeing it.
We had” See you in my dreams” at my dads funeral. If anyone hadn’t cried before that one they did then.
I’ve told my friends that if I am given plenty of notice of my demise that I’m going to have the wake first.
They can’t wait 🤣🤣 which is a bit of a worry.😀

 

[mowood]

My late Aunty was always full of fun and mischief. She 'escaped' from her care home twice and was heard planning a third attempt. The last song at her non-religious funeral was "Wild Thing" by the Troggs. Those of us who had known her well thought it most appropriate.

 

[jay6]

@Banjomansmate sounds like you all had fun. That's how it should be. Remember them with fun.