Funeral...

[Jenny11]

Yesterday went as well as it could. I wanted people to nod and say, yes that was my mum and I think I achieved it.

I remember attending the funeral & the committal refreshments afterwards (what we'd call the wake) but I feel numb & still have this horrible sicky feeling in my stomach that I don't seem to be able to get rid of. Everyone said that I did my mother proud & that she would have loved the service. It got me at the opening bars of Ave Maria before the coffin had even been taken off the hearse.

I didn't cry really. Welled up a few times. Dabbed my eyes once it twice but held it together for my dad. Did lots of nodding & smiling at the memories, even though I'd written it. & everyone burst out laughing at the exit music of "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate, saying that it was so my mum & what she would have wanted.

I couldn't have been prouder of my son who got up to say a few words. That was probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do and he did it so well.

My dad has spent today sorting out another of my mum's drawers, so I've had to go over & collect her gloves & scarves. I don't know if it's a coping mechanism for him but it's wholly inappropriate to be doing it when I haven't even picked up her ashes for me.

Dad wanted to know what was left to do. Not much & I'll get round to it next week once the dust has settled a bit as they say.

I guess at some point I'll have to sort through the rest of my mum's things but for now, I'm sat down, doing nothing & being kind to myself.

It's my wedding anniversary on Sunday. I'd better go buy a card I guess. Life goes on.

 

[Gosling]

I am so pleased @Jenny11 that it all went off so well for you and the family. Sounds like you got it all just right.. In the coming days, do take time for you, some 'me time' . Grief will sometimes hit you when you least expect it.

As for your Dad clearing out drawers etc, really there is no right or wrong. Some people start the process very quickly, and some will take days, months or even years before starting any clearing. If it helps him, then it is probably right. But you take whatever time you need. There's no rush.

Enjoy your wedding anniversary on Sunday. You deserve it.

 

[Izzy]

I’m so glad that things went so well for you all today. I had to chuckle at the exit music!

Wishing you a happy anniversary on Sunday. I hope you both take time to just chill and enjoy whatever you choose to do.

 

[GillP]

Sounds like a very good send off. Take time to adjust. Happy Anniversary.

 

[Firecatcher]

I must have somehow missed your post about your Mum’s death so first of all I’m really sorry about your loss. I’m glad your Mum’s funeral
went well and felt poignant and meaningful. Take care of yourself and wishing you a happy wedding anniversary on Sunday.

 

[sdmhred]

So glad the funeral went well for you @Jenny11
Your mum sounds like she was great fun with that song to end with!

if your Dad needs to sort just let him bag it up and give it to you to go through when ur ready. When my Dad died i did quite a bit of stuff that meant nothing in the week after the funeral… but most of his clothing it took me around a year to sort…..each time I went back to it I found I could get rid of a little more…..saying that we have kept some of his favourite outfits…maybe they will go in the years to come…who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Glad you’re being kind to yourself …youve been through the mill these last few months xxx

 

[Sarasa]

Glad it went well @Jenny11. As my dear mother in law used to say look after you now. Have a good day enjoying your wedding anniversary on Sunday.