Hello, this is my first post. Sorry it's less than cheerful!
For the past year or so my 76 year old mum has been showing subtle signs of memory loss, repeating herself and a decline in problem solving abilities (eg cooking). But as isolated events I sort of wrote them off, and thought perhaps I was 'imagining' it or hyper-focussed on looking for things. But a couple of nights ago my dad called me specifically to tell me he'd noticed a few things over the past 6 months - 1 year or so (although divorced they still speak on the phone occasionally and sometimes see each other), and that that evening they had spoken on the phone and talked about a few things in detail, then after the call mum rang him straight back to say "oh and..." then proceeded to talk about one of the things that had already spoken about, as if it was the first time. This made it all feel very real and no longer just something I'm imagining.
My dad is not emotionally intelligent or nurturing, so his call just made me feel worse, rather than better. He provided no supportive or kind words, just facts. I have a brother, but he is estranged from the family, so I'm feeling really scared and alone. My mum lives alone and it will be just me going through this with her and her primary carer, if/when needed (I also live alone). I have good friends that will provide emotional support, but I feel i cant lean on them too much, and practically it will just be me.
I also texted one of mums good friends yesterday to ask for a chat with her saying ive been worried about my mum etc. And when we spoke on the phone she said she had sort of been expecting my call for the past 9 months or so This is all so terrifying and has become so real all in the space of 2 days.
My mum has always been terrified of getting dementia/Alzheimer's , and I'm so scared of bringing all this up with her. I have sort of tried a couple of times when she has forgotten key things, but she writes it off as 'she had a lot going on' or 'we talked about a lot of things' etc. I feel she doesn't have the insight or is in denial/too scared to face it. As I have been really. I know the next step is to get her to see her GP and memory clinic referral, and Id like to do this with her. But im just so frozen with bringing it up.
I'm feeling really overwhelmed and alone and want to protect my mum from fear. Just wanted to share as I cant really sleep or eat and am really anxious and low.
For the past year or so my 76 year old mum has been showing subtle signs of memory loss, repeating herself and a decline in problem solving abilities (eg cooking). But as isolated events I sort of wrote them off, and thought perhaps I was 'imagining' it or hyper-focussed on looking for things. But a couple of nights ago my dad called me specifically to tell me he'd noticed a few things over the past 6 months - 1 year or so (although divorced they still speak on the phone occasionally and sometimes see each other), and that that evening they had spoken on the phone and talked about a few things in detail, then after the call mum rang him straight back to say "oh and..." then proceeded to talk about one of the things that had already spoken about, as if it was the first time. This made it all feel very real and no longer just something I'm imagining.
My dad is not emotionally intelligent or nurturing, so his call just made me feel worse, rather than better. He provided no supportive or kind words, just facts. I have a brother, but he is estranged from the family, so I'm feeling really scared and alone. My mum lives alone and it will be just me going through this with her and her primary carer, if/when needed (I also live alone). I have good friends that will provide emotional support, but I feel i cant lean on them too much, and practically it will just be me.
I also texted one of mums good friends yesterday to ask for a chat with her saying ive been worried about my mum etc. And when we spoke on the phone she said she had sort of been expecting my call for the past 9 months or so This is all so terrifying and has become so real all in the space of 2 days.
My mum has always been terrified of getting dementia/Alzheimer's , and I'm so scared of bringing all this up with her. I have sort of tried a couple of times when she has forgotten key things, but she writes it off as 'she had a lot going on' or 'we talked about a lot of things' etc. I feel she doesn't have the insight or is in denial/too scared to face it. As I have been really. I know the next step is to get her to see her GP and memory clinic referral, and Id like to do this with her. But im just so frozen with bringing it up.
I'm feeling really overwhelmed and alone and want to protect my mum from fear. Just wanted to share as I cant really sleep or eat and am really anxious and low.
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