Exhausted

[Violet Jane]

DBS 16, you are not going behind his back. You are getting what is needed to enable you to go on caring for him without you completely breaking down.

 

[DreamsAreReal]

. I haven't got time today to sew left and right in today so I am going to try with another simplified instruction note. I have ended up shouting at her when she throws things away which I have tried to provide for help. I do understand your frustration - with my mother there is some new thing every day which I get drawn into. It is my sense of duty(sometimes feels like only that) which draws me on.

This! I know they can’t help it, but it seems like everything you do to try to help is thwarted by them, every flipping time! It’s so frustrating and exhausting.

I wish I was more patient with her sometimes. When I’ve gone home from hers I feel horrible. Sometimes when I’m at home eating something nice or watching a good tv programme in bed, I think of her sitting alone in her flat with nothing and my throat closes up with sadness and guilt. This disease is the worst.

 

[Muttimuggle]

This! I know they can’t help it, but it seems like everything you do to try to help is thwarted by them, every flipping time! It’s so frustrating and exhausting.

I wish I was more patient with her sometimes. When I’ve gone home from hers I feel horrible. Sometimes when I’m at home eating something nice or watching a good tv programme in bed, I think of her sitting alone in her flat with nothing and my throat closes up with sadness and guilt. This disease is the worst.

You are clearly kind and all is not lost in your relationship with your mother. With my mother I also feel sad for her for being all alone sometimes but then I realise that this, to some degree is what she wants and chooses. She doesn't want the interference from carers really(although she must because of her medication mis-dosing) and I am sure she certainly doesn't want that daughter(me) trying to tell her what she should or needs to be doing(and getting angry with her sometimes). I am realising that, although I couldn't contemplate feeling happyin this aloneness, she is often alright with it. The other Sunday night after helping her with her tea and having listened to these urgent pleas for help about this pain in the top of her leg(which we had already seen the GP about) I remembered that there were some of those little mini bottles of wine under her stairs so I asked her if she wanted one, which she did, so got her the glass and opened it and left her with it on her little tea time trolley. She looked so happy with that and there was no mention of the pain the next day and she slept well. Maybe I am about to turn her into an alcoholic!

 

[DreamsAreReal]

@Muttimuggle Yes, you’re right. Thank you ?. Talking of booze, I sometimes put a capful of Brandy in her coffee and she loves that. ?

 

[Muttimuggle]

@Muttimuggle Yes, you’re right. Thank you ?. Talking of booze, I sometimes put a capful of Brandy in her coffee and she loves that. ?

Glad to hear I am not the only one then!