So far I just see comments about people who recognise they may have Alzheimer's but nothing about what you do when you are fairly sure they are suffering about this or something similar. And don't even suggest trying to get them to raise the subject!!
Everything deals with a sufferer but nothing about a partner who is concerned that someone is suffering
- Thread starter David the Tyke
- Start date
Welcome @David the Tyke. Each person with dementia is different. And each carers definition of suffering is also different.
Hello @David the Tyke and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. From your post I am assuming that you are concerned about someone close to you who may have dementia. Sometimes people are reluctant to accept that they might have an issue and then there is not much you can do. What some of our members have done it to send a bullet point list of their concerns to their loved ones GP and ask if they could be called in for a “well person” appointment so that doctor has an idea of what is going on.
Hello @kevin No minimum number of posts required, that only applies if a member wants to post a link.
OK but you are not SAYING anything, What do you do if you OH will not accept they have a problem. No platitudes please. Concrete words. And no footsteps in the forest....
Welcome to the forum @David the Tyke.
You’re clearly very concerned about someone close to you. @SeaSwallow’s suggestion is a good one. I also wondered if you would find anything helpful in this link.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
You’re clearly very concerned about someone close to you. @SeaSwallow’s suggestion is a good one. I also wondered if you would find anything helpful in this link.
Talking to someone about their memory problems
It can be difficult to talk to someone about problems with their memory. We have advice to help you start a conversation.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Hi @David the Tyke and welcome to the Forum. People here are trying to help you so please take note of the vast amount of experience that is available for you to call on. I am not sure what some of your terminology means but be assured that this is the best place to find out what dementia really does to the person and all who care for them. It has been a lifeline for many, myself included. Just ask questions, raise issues, join conversations, share with people who truly understand or let off steam. You'll find an amazing amount of goodwill, good suggestions and support here. And no platitudes.
When my husband was showing signs of dementia, he was in total denial that there was a problem and blamed everything on me . It was extremely unpleasant.
Our GP has known us for years so I had a very good conversation with him where he thought that if he challenged my husband to agree to an assessment, just to prove that I was the one in the wrong, that there was nothing wrong with him, that he might go for it.
He was so convinced that I was the one who had the problem that he thought it was a great idea. But following the referral from the GP, nothing happened in a hurry so you need to be patient. There are scans, neuropsychological tests and other stuff that will happen and that will take months.
I don’t know if this could work for you but it did for me.
Thank you. I am getting the feeling that speaking to the GP may be stage 1. Unfortunately these days they are not long term people but there seems little alternative. I would happily do a parallel testing process "in case it is me" but frankly feel sure that would be taken as a certainty. Re time frame, I can be patient but I do need to feel that the process is at least starting. If there is a way of pausing or slowing the problem it needs to commence or it may all be too late to help. As she had a recent Cat scan and MRI I was rather hoping something may result but so far there has been silence.
So you could call the person who referred her for the scans and MRI to see if the results have come through yet, sort of giving them a reminder that you are still here. You should have been an appointment to get the results. Once you get a diagnosis then you will be able to access services that may be of help.
I wouldn’t bother doing the parallel testing yourself. I used to sometimes wonder if it was me but if both you and your daughter agree there’s a problem, then there’s a problem.
If it helps to have an idea of a timeline, my dad and I raised concerns with the gp about my mum at the end of October last year. The gp made a joint appointment for mum and dad to do a medical review (mum has asthma so the gp used that as an excuse) and then said she wanted to do a memory test on both mum and dad. This was as the beginning of November. Mum was referred to the memory clinic, and then began the waiting. She was initially assessed by the memory nurse at the start of February, then referred for a CT scan, and has just received diagnosis of Alzheimer's.
