Hi all..my beautiful mum is near the end off her journey..she really only tolerating sips and the odd mouth full off yoghurt constantly sleeping..Doctor came a few days back and all end off life medication as been pxd..for if and when mum needs it..as doctor said this could be weeks..my worse fear is for mum to be in pain..and i explain this to doctor and nurse...how long can this last..mum is very comfortable still has sips..but long can this go on..i am totally heartbroken to see my mum like this..and overwhelmed crying constantly..my whole family the same.xxx
End coming soon?
- Thread starter Baby Bunty
- Start date
How long is a piece of string?
Certainly in my mother's and my aunt's case at a similar stage months.
Including an 'emergency event' roughly every 3-4 weeks. We even had an episode of 'Cheynes-Strokes breathing' and appropriate medication on a syringe driver 5 weeks before she actually died. The medication stabilized the breathing and despite after 24 hours with nil eating, the Home insisted on re-instating feeding, although she could not swallow on her own and needed help (manipulation).It really was an awful time and I hated the way it dragged out.
However the end when it came was quite sudden and she just carried on in her unconscious state from which she just didn't wake up eventually.
Last edited:
Thankyou so so much for replys..i am completely heart broken.xxHow long is a piece of string.
Certainly in my mother's and my aunt's case at a similar stage months.
hello @Baby Bunty
such a sad time for you - be kind to yourself
hoping your mum is peaceful
much sympathy
such a sad time for you - be kind to yourself
hoping your mum is peaceful
much sympathy
Thankyou..i am emotionally exhausted but i need to be strong to hold her hand.all my siblings are the same..i am blessed to have such a beautiful mum..and i just want her painfree and at peace now!..but then another part cant bear to lose her.xxx
I hope your mum remains comfortable and pain free. I am glad the medication is all ready should she need it. No-one can say how long this stage lasts but it is not easy as many of us know from experience. Please keep us updated with how you are feeling and if you have any questions you want to ask.
And so the key word, is 'comfort'. After such a long and at times so very difficult a journey, that is what we look to as an imperative for our loved one. This time is very demanding on those who are so very close and who have cared for someone throughout such a journey, which by nature of this disease, draws relentlessly upon your emotional reserves and seems hell bent on breaking your heart. And then there is that profound sense of feeling powerless, whilst that constant yearning to preserve the life of someone who has raised you, protected you and loved you and who has, throughout this long and unremitting journey, seemed completely dependent upon you - all of this and much more - comes together now, like a cruel admonishment of all that endeavour. What is termed, 'end of life.' Yet, what is quite natural and truthful and applies to every single one of us, come the day.
But dementia, whilst an unforgiving foe in our eyes, remains, in essence, the domain of the one who actually lives within it throughout that journey. And yet it touches us, as carers, or as a child of a parent, in such a profound way, that this moment, this 'end of life' moment, is so very overwhelming, as to seemingly have no ending.
But the 'beautiful mum' - despite all of this - despite the ravages of dementia - despite the distress, the heartache, the hospitals, the clinical coldness which pervades such moments - the 'beautiful mum' merits the compassion of 'comfort'. At this time, nothing less.
And above all, the 'beautiful mum' remains just that. Nothing can ever change that 'beauty', whether a moment in childhood, or a moment at any other time. That 'beauty' - which only you can know about - never dies
Let that be your 'comfort'.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is a very emotionally and physically exhausting time. Thinking of you all.
I am so sorry for your heartbreak and sorry that no one can answer your question of ‘how long?’. The Doctor seems to have everything covered with your concerns for keeping your mum pain free and comfortable and so there is no reason to think she will be in pain and I am sure the dr and nurse will be able to reassure you they will keep her as comfortable as she is now.
I wish you peace and strength and please look after yourself and take comfort from your wonderful family and support each other. Sending hugs whist you hold your lovely mums hand x
Thankyou all for kind replys ..mum is still managing to drink..only sips but also sips off ensure..this journey as totally emotionally drained me and my family all we do is cry...to watch our poor mum lying in bed is heartbreaking and pitiful to watch..But thankgod she is comfotable and snug in bed .xxxxx
It really is an exhausting time. I certainly wasn't aware of just how exhausted I was until it was all over. I also spent most of the time being 'emotional; too.
Wishing you strength and energy.
Sending you hugs. Glad your mum has a plan in place & all you can do is look after yourself & see that she is comfortable.
She will go when it is her time to go unfortunately xx
She will go when it is her time to go unfortunately xx
I have just read your post. I lost my lovely mum to dementia on 14/12/17. The biggest blow. Mum would not eat or drink and only tiny sips of water and bits of yoghurt. It was very hard. She slipped away very peacefully. I miss her so very much but know she is alive in me. I am very sorry for you and you are in my thoughts.
Thankyou all for kind replys..this site as truely been a god send to me.x mum still taking sips of ensures..i had a total melt down today as mum was in a little pain..codiene was given and .care home phoned district nurse..who came out and the nurse was lovely she reassured me that they are on hand 24 hours a day..my worst fear is for mum to be in pain..thankfully the codiene settled her. Xxxx
Oh hun I'm so sorry you have to go through this I've just gone through the same thing with my father in law it's so hard I understand but you will get through it and when she's finally at peace she'll know you were there for her I promise .... I also have my mum who has Alzheimers too...so stay strong and just be with your beautiful mum here for you if you need to talk ....alison
Thankyou..just cant bear it..overwhelmed is an understated..i am the baby in my family and mum also called me baby bunty even thou i am 48..i feel its role reversal now and mum is my baby who i am trying desparelty to protect.xxx
