Emphasis on good NH points!!

[BeckyJan]

My lovely husband is in a NH!

We have had difficult and good moments. I have questioned the 'care' and generally I am happy with the way my husband is dealt with

A TP friend suggested I should post about the following:

I visited as usual and there was my husband 'hemmed in' by the musician who was entertaining! - I was annoyed because he was literally cornered! Not the first time within the week.

I fumed - but went away to rant at a friend and to sort my husband's room out! Went back and managed to join in with the 'musical' entertainment.

Afterwards the Activities Organiser joined me - I calmly said I disliked my husbands 'cornering' and explained his objection to loud noise!! (only since dementia entered our lives!!). It was all done so amicably I was humbled by my earlier feelings!!!!!

I do believe if we can approach problems in an amicable way then we normally get a good response.

 

[Vonny]

I do believe if we can approach problems in an amicable way then we normally get a good response.

Ah yes, but then you are naturally a rational and courteous person Jan, who is able to see things from differing perspectives and who can engage in a mutually beneficial dialogue. How wise to rant "off-line" then approach the problem calmly. Well done you xx

 

[TinaT]

I wholely agree with Vonny. Staying calm, although very hard to do when you are emotionally involved, is always the best course of action.

It also depends on the person you are complaining to! There are some people who you could approach in the most reasonable way imaginable and they will immediate take offence and be so defensive there is little proper dialogue.

I visited Ken today and whilst toileting him I saw what thought was a gravel rash on both his knees. At first glance I thought it must have been nettles which had caused the rash but on closer inspection each raised pimple appearance was too spearated from each other to be nettles. One of the pimples was obviously infected so I got the infection out and whilst cleaning it I noticed a black centre. I managed to get a section raised above the skin and saw it was a splinter. The knee injuries must have been caused last Friday night in his Hodini escape bid. I managed to get it all out intact and gave it another good clean with soap and water.

As I was leaving I spotted one of the care workers whom I particularly like and asked her to look at his knees. She said it had been noted and recorded but she was astonished that I had got a splinter of wood out. I asked her had they antibiotic cream available and left the Care Home knowing that she would put some on the knee and record this.

That is definately the sort of dialogue we all need where there is a positive outcome at the end of it.

xxTinaT

 

[BeckyJan]

Thanks Tina:
It made me think at the start of this thread I wanted to emphasise the importance of our partnership with NH staff. We may get annoyed at odd 'failures' but we need to be part of it all. Then they understand us and our loved ones. Hopefully that makes our lives a little more comfortable.

Love

 

[connie]

Dear Jan.

Good dialogue is invaluable. Remaining calm imperative.

Not easily achieved. Would expect nothing less from you Jan, especially where David's wellbeing and care are concerned.

Tina love, you are another one who always tries to work out the problems, and peacefully find a solution.

Exceptional ladies both.

 

[Helen33]

I think it is so important to be the voice of those that have been silenced by dementia and it is good that you spoke up for David Jan It seems a reasonable thing to do and any reasonable person would see the need for change!!

I am convinced that some of the changes that need to take place are not changes that involve huge finances Some basic changes that would significantly enhance lives wouldn't cost a penny more but would make lives feel invaluable!!

Good on you Jan