Emergency respite care - what do we do?

[andyb1]

Hello

Mum's condition (Vascular D and Alzheimer's) has deteriorated a lot since Christmas. Dad provides amazing love and care for her, but she needs 24 hour support now, cannot manage personal care, basic tasks, or making any decisions and is getting increasingly verbally aggressive towards those around her. Have been struggling along with a weekly visit to day centre and two carer visits a week, but these can now be additional stress points for Mum and Dad and seemingly becoming counter productive. Mum resistant of help or assistance from Dad most of the time, including with dressing or personal care. Due to crisis points frequently being reached at home (daily) and out of concern for well being of Mum and Dad despite everyone's love and care, we're now having to seek emergency respite care. Currently GP has referred and are waiting for assessment to be done. Feeling completely torn apart by this, but believe Mum needs more than us now, and have to protect Dad too and give him a break.

For anyone having been through emergency respite, what should we look out for and expect? Don't know whether it will be agreed yet or how long for? Presumably best to take familiar items from home? Can we visit or is this too disruptive? What else do we need to know?

Completely stressed and bewildered. Thanks for any help and advice you can give.

 

[lesley1958]

Hello

Mum's condition (Vascular D and Alzheimer's) has deteriorated a lot since Christmas. Dad provides amazing love and care for her, but she needs 24 hour support now, cannot manage personal care, basic tasks, or making any decisions and is getting increasingly verbally aggressive towards those around her. Have been struggling along with a weekly visit to day centre and two carer visits a week, but these can now be additional stress points for Mum and Dad and seemingly becoming counter productive. Mum resistant of help or assistance from Dad most of the time, including with dressing or personal care. Due to crisis points frequently being reached at home (daily) and out of concern for well being of Mum and Dad despite everyone's love and care, we're now having to seek emergency respite care. Currently GP has referred and are waiting for assessment to be done. Feeling completely torn apart by this, but believe Mum needs more than us now, and have to protect Dad too and give him a break.

For anyone having been through emergency respite, what should we look out for and expect? Don't know whether it will be agreed yet or how long for? Presumably best to take familiar items from home? Can we visit or is this too disruptive? What else do we need to know?

Completely stressed and bewildered. Thanks for any help and advice you can give.

Hi andy

I'm sorry that I cannot offer advice, only solidarity. This sounds like exactly the position we are getting to with my dad and we too are waiting for an assessment. My mum has not yet got to the point of accepting respite but I had to put the process in motion as I fear for her safety, the safety of their home, and her health.

So just to say I really feel your pain. But I am sure you are doing absolutely the right thing for your parents.

wishing you strength

Lesley

 

[jorgieporgie]

So Sorry for you. I am still waiting myself for an assessment to be done saw I can not say what the procedure is. I really feel your pain as your upset about your Mum but also need help for your Dad too. Keep strong I am sure everything will be sorted out soon. Big Big Hugs coming your way xx

 

[andyb1]

Thanks for your comments

Thanks for your comments. We've got an assessment arranged for Monday morning, then depending on that a place for Emergency respite later that day hopefully, not sure how long for.

 

[Aisling]

Thanks for your comments. We've got an assessment arranged for Monday morning, then depending on that a place for Emergency respite later that day hopefully, not sure how long for.

Hope assessment goes well for you in the morning.

Ailing