Downstairs bed

[L&N]

what are the pros and cons for moving to having a bed upstairs and maybe a recliner chair bed downstairs? And any good options people have used?
I am really keen to get a bed downstairs for my mum with Parkinson’s dementia as her night carer has said some nights it’s hard to get mum upstairs and she’s also having to be lifted out of bed when her mobility is worse. She has better and worse days. She already has a downstairs bathroom. I would be happy to pay for this myself.
My siblings are saying they don’t want a bed downstairs as they worry she will spend all day in bed or will lose motivation to go upstairs.
I don’t know what is right for mum and she can’t really tell us what she wants as it changes. Most times she now doesn’t know where she is and just goes along with what she is directed to.
We are waiting on an OT home assessment but had a letter saying there are long waits currently in our area and limited services.

 

[canary]

I think having a downstairs bed would be a very good idea, especially as she a downstairs bathroom.
Yes, she may lose motivation to go upstairs, but if she is struggling to use the stairs is this a bad thing?

 

[amIinthewrong?]

I’d say to you’re siblings that she needs a bed downstairs it isn’t about there wants it’s about you’re mum’s needs if she can’t get upstairs where do they except her to sleep the floor, it’s about making you’re mum comfortable and safe, also I’d say she has less risk of falling downstairs if she has a bed downstairs. I also want to know why they feel she needs to go upstairs anyway for what reasons if it’s just to get her to walk around she can do that downstairs with less stress involed💐💐💐

 

[Knitandpurl]

So often a fall is the trigger that leads to a rapid deterioration, so surely a bed downstairs is a great idea. Additionally people can, and do, die from falls downstairs. My son in law’s grandfather was one of these. He just stepped out as if stairs not there.

 

[sdmhred]

It sounds like she NEEDS the bed downstairs. How would you siblings react if the carers were to say they feel she’s unsafe in the stairs?? Would that help their processing?

 

[Alisongs]

what are the pros and cons for moving to having a bed upstairs and maybe a recliner chair bed downstairs? And any good options people have used?
I am really keen to get a bed downstairs for my mum with Parkinson’s dementia as her night carer has said some nights it’s hard to get mum upstairs and she’s also having to be lifted out of bed when her mobility is worse. She has better and worse days. She already has a downstairs bathroom. I would be happy to pay for this myself.
My siblings are saying they don’t want a bed downstairs as they worry she will spend all day in bed or will lose motivation to go upstairs.
I don’t know what is right for mum and she can’t really tell us what she wants as it changes. Most times she now doesn’t know where she is and just goes along with what she is directed to.
We are waiting on an OT home assessment but had a letter saying there are long waits currently in our area and limited services.

Lots of brilliant support here, but there's always a but.....

In Lockdown my Mum had a fall, and when she was being discharged from hospital, my sister was asked if Mum had a downstairs bedroom. There was a tiny downstairs loo.

My sister took it upon herself ( I was 100 miles away and travel was forbidden) to get a bed into mum's lounge and all her clothes and daily needs put in the sideboard.

Mum was over 100 and spent 3 years hating the arrangement, feeling miserable and undignified.

I had asked my sister to at least buy a daybed with a decorative metal frame back, which Mum had once said would be lovely when she needed a new sofa, perfect for naps or if she was too tired to go up to bed at night.

Please make sure your lived one is included in the decision making!

 

[lea123e]

I think a downstairs bed is a great idea. My Dad is in the same boat, downstairs bathroom and I dearly wish he would agree to a bed downstairs as his mobility is terrible.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

I suspect that your siblings are against having a downstairs bed as this means accepted another stage in her decline.

The carer struggling to get your Mum upstairs should be enough for everyone to realise that this has to be done.

What you need to think about now is your Mum's future needs, no point in buying a bed now, only to discover that she needs sides in a few months time. I say this with experience as in the last 2 months, Mum has gone from standard single to hospital bed, padded sides and an air mattress.

 

[albo]

I suspect that your siblings are against having a downstairs bed as this means accepted another stage in her decline.

The carer struggling to get your Mum upstairs should be enough for everyone to realise that this has to be done.

What you need to think about now is your Mum's future needs, no point in buying a bed now, only to discover that she needs sides in a few months time. I say this with experience as in the last 2 months, Mum has gone from standard single to hospital bed, padded sides and an air mattress.

My mum has the same set up with the hospital bed with sides and air mattress in the lounge

 

[Chizz]

what are the pros and cons for moving to having a bed upstairs and maybe a recliner chair bed downstairs? And any good options people have used?
I am really keen to get a bed downstairs for my mum with Parkinson’s dementia as her night carer has said some nights it’s hard to get mum upstairs and she’s also having to be lifted out of bed when her mobility is worse. She has better and worse days. She already has a downstairs bathroom. I would be happy to pay for this myself.
My siblings are saying they don’t want a bed downstairs as they worry she will spend all day in bed or will lose motivation to go upstairs.
I don’t know what is right for mum and she can’t really tell us what she wants as it changes. Most times she now doesn’t know where she is and just goes along with what she is directed to.
We are waiting on an OT home assessment but had a letter saying there are long waits currently in our area and limited services.

Hi @L&N
Downstairs bed and chair - obviously depends on space available, plus a loo downstairs or a commode - is v convenient for us, and my OH doesn't go upstairs anymore.

When my OH was in hospital for quite a while she forgot how to walk. She couldn't process mentally all that was required for her to be able to get up and walk - sit up, swing round to sit on edge of bed, put feet on floor, hold left side of frame, hold right side of frame, push with feet on floor, pull with both hands on frame - etc,etc and she couldn't do it or follow instructions.
The occupational therapist visited our home to check out position, and she arranged for hospital bed, with air pressure mattress with motor pump (to prevent bedsores), plus side bars (to prevent falling out of bed), plus side bar covers (to prevent feet going through side bars) to be delivered, plus a reclining chair with air pressure cushions, plus motor pump, plus a commode to be delivered and set up before my OH was discharged from hospital. Then when I pointed out my OH couldn't walk and thus without me lifting her she could get to the commode the hospital OT said not her problem now my wife out of hospital and I should contact Local Authority Adult Social Services health team. I did, and it took me two weeks + to persuade them to provide a hoist and sling, plus slidey sheets (two pairs) for it to be easy to move my OH in bed (for washing, changing clothes, etc) and then they called in the Incontinence Nurse who prescribed adult nappies, knickers, and bed cover pads.

We are fortunate to have the space - so bed in what was our dining room. chair in lounge, hoist when not in use stands in the hall, along with the wheelchair.

You or family shouldn't have to provide bed or other equipment if your mum can't walk or do stairs. However, they say that for "health and safety" there should be two people to operate the sling and the hoist. It is possible to use sling and hoist to move my OH from bed to commode, which I did (on my own) before we started to treat my OH as incontinent. (She's not (as she has the muscle power) but can't get up to go to toilet or commode and now can't really communicate fully.)

Best wishes

 

[RuralTownie]

Downstairs bed sounds like a good option. Maybe a child gate at the top/bottom of the stairs if you think there's a risk she may try and wander and use them unsupervised.
I'd caution against a recliner chair for sleeping on because they're unstable if you try to get out of it before reseting to the sitting position - which I reckon almost everybody with dementia does! Good for daytime when monitored, but a proper bed is the way to go for night time.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Stair gates are not recommended when someone has dementia as they can try to climb over them.
The downstairs bed definitely sounds like a good idea especially as there is a downstairs bathroom.

 

[Knitandpurl]

Downstairs bed sounds like a good option. Maybe a child gate at the top/bottom of the stairs if you think there's a risk she may try and wander and use them unsupervised.
I'd caution against a recliner chair for sleeping on because they're unstable if you try to get out of it before reseting to the sitting position - which I reckon almost everybody with dementia does! Good for daytime when monitored, but a proper bed is the way to go for night time.

My Mum constantly caught the wires for her riser recliner in parts of the chair, I used to try and tie them or hook them up, but she loved her chair.