Does my mum have Alzheimers, and what should I do?

[alzheimer]

I really hope that you will read this post through and that someone can help.

Im an 18 year old girl who together with my 26 year old sister have had concerns about our 58 year-old mom.

It all started 1 year ago, when my mother went to visit my sister for a longer period of time. She stayed with my sister to care for her after an operation, and when my mom came home i went to stay with my sister for a while.

The first day I was there we were sitting eating breakfast when she said she had noticed something strange about our mother…

I immediately knew what she was talking about and when she mentioned the word Alzheimers my heart sank, because I had for some reason had the same thought once in a while. I cannot explain it, its just little things which are forgotten or things that are said that gives that feeling that something is not as it used to/should be.

I have read on the Internet that azheimers signs usually appear at the age of 65 +, but I just get really worried.

Other than that my mom has had some sudden mood swings, which is always blamed on the menopause, however, after reading online that this is one of the symptoms i can't help but getting worried.

Alzheimers is the worst type or illness i could ever imagine… I don't want to say anything, and it had been almost 1 year since my sister and I talked about it.

I don't live at home any longer and don't see my mother so much so don't see any signs, but on Monday we she was telling me something in the phone, and the day after she texted me to tell me the same thing. When i told her she had already told me she was like "oh yeah, i forgot, sorry.."


I don't want to tell her what i think, as I'm afraid that I'm wrong and that i will just make her worried. On the other hand, i don't want to leave it, what if she can get pills for it and it could prevent the illness of getting worse?

I havent talked to my dad about it, and while writing this, i can feel that the thought of this is killing me… What should i do?

I really hope that someone will read this post and that i can get some advice..

 

[Little moth]

I really hope that you will read this post through and that someone can help.

Im an 18 year old girl who together with my 26 year old sister have had concerns about our 58 year-old mom.

It all started 1 year ago, when my mother went to visit my sister for a longer period of time. She stayed with my sister to care for her after an operation, and when my mom came home i went to stay with my sister for a while.

The first day I was there we were sitting eating breakfast when she said she had noticed something strange about our mother…

I immediately knew what she was talking about and when she mentioned the word Alzheimers my heart sank, because I had for some reason had the same thought once in a while. I cannot explain it, its just little things which are forgotten or things that are said that gives that feeling that something is not as it used to/should be.

I have read on the Internet that azheimers signs usually appear at the age of 65 +, but I just get really worried.

Other than that my mom has had some sudden mood swings, which is always blamed on the menopause, however, after reading online that this is one of the symptoms i can't help but getting worried.

Alzheimers is the worst type or illness i could ever imagine… I don't want to say anything, and it had been almost 1 year since my sister and I talked about it.

I don't live at home any longer and don't see my mother so much so don't see any signs, but on Monday we she was telling me something in the phone, and the day after she texted me to tell me the same thing. When i told her she had already told me she was like "oh yeah, i forgot, sorry.."


I don't want to tell her what i think, as I'm afraid that I'm wrong and that i will just make her worried. On the other hand, i don't want to leave it, what if she can get pills for it and it could prevent the illness of getting worse?

I havent talked to my dad about it, and while writing this, i can feel that the thought of this is killing me… What should i do?

I really hope that someone will read this post and that i can get some advice..

Hello Alzheimer, I am 67 and undiagnosed. I have a few memory problems which may or may not be alzheimers, another condition or even stress. When I was in my 50's and going through the menopause, my memory was awful, so moody, hot sweats, concentration bad etc. It could possibly be the menopause. Could you gently ask her how she is feeling, as she doesn't seem her usual self. If it is the menopause a trip to the doctor might help, she may already have done so. Depression can cause memory problems so try not to jump to conclusions, which is easier said than done. best wishes Little moth

 

[Lindy50]

Hello alzheimer and welcome to TP

I am sorry you are so worried, it is awful when you don't want to mention a problem to the people concerned, in case it makes it all 'real'.

I have to say though that I agree with little moth. From what you have said, there is no particular reason to think your mom has Alzheimer's. Her moods, memory issues and other things could equally be caused by the menopause, stress or depression, or any number of other things.

If you can get the dreaded word 'Alzheimer's' to take a back seat, can you talk to your mom about how she's feeling in general? And encourage her to see her GP if she's worried?

I do hope this works out well.

Good luck

Lindy xx

PS If you do want to know more about Alzheimer's, you will find lots of information, and a helpline number, here:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/faq.php?faq=resources#faq_resources_website

 

[malc]

even though my wife was diagnosed with alzheimer's at the age of 40,she is in the minority and she has other health issues,i agree with other opinions that there is a lot of other things it can be,don't go down the internet diagnosis route,you'll convince yourself your mum has allsorts of weird and wonderful illnesses,talk to her and i bet a trip to the gp will sort it out.

 

[CareGiver-1]

... The first day I was there we were sitting eating breakfast when she said she had noticed something strange about our mother…

You should really get your mother to a GP and consult with him privately before the appointment. You and your sister should tell him everything you observed. I don't want to scare you, but one cannot self-diagnose such a situation.

My cousins thought their mother was just going through menopause, also at 58, because she was reacting emotionally to many things going on in her life as well as being forgetful. Then they thought she was getting dementia. Alzheimer's/dementia doesn't run in our family -- that raised a flag, but they did nothing thinking that she was just at the beginning of dementia. After about a year she finally got that exam and it was determined she had a brain tumor. Sorry to say, it was too late.

 

[Lindy50]

I agree malc - it is so easy to mis-diagnose oneself, let alone another person, on the internet! There is no substitute for face to face communication......

 

[alzheimer]

So comforting to hear all of this..

Its really comforting to hear all of this..

We moved 4 years ago, and this change has been great for my mom but also difficult, I think.. She told my sister a year ago that she thought she had a depression.

At the day of my graduation, my sister came to visit me and to celebrate the day. My mother was for no obvious reason in a VERY bad mood. She didn't want to be near us, and at night we had prepared a wonderful dinner, but I just couldn't hold the tears back and asked her why she was being so cold. I consider myself a "strong" person, who doesn't cry in front of my parents, and especially not my sister. This was just TOO much for me. I expected her to apologize as she is a very warm and loving woman, but she didn't. She went for a walk, and so did me and my sister after my sister had got REALLY mad at her. We were both so concerned she would hurt herself. It was that bad.. We just had that feeling. And all of this was so new and scary to me.. She isn't normally like that.

The next day when she still didn't talk to me, my sister or my dad, we decided to write a letter, asking her what was wrong.

She later wrote us an email explaining that she didn't know what it was. She has just been feeling upset. She felt that we didn't need her anymore, and that her role as a mother had been completely changed, and no longer had a "purpose"…

We ofcourse forgave her and all apologized, but it was a strange experience. I have never experienced her so cold before.. It was actually scary..

My dad then told me that she had always has her ups and downs..

We told her that she should always come to us and talk if she needed it.

I am so thankful for all of the answers, I will definitely ask her tomorrow when i go home for the weekend. I will try and talk to her to see how she is feeling. The only worry I have is, that she won't open up. She will just say that everything is fine.

I have experienced one time where she for no apparent reason has got annoyed and not spoken to me for a day or two. I then sat down on her bed and apologized for whatever i might have done and "begged" her to tell me what was wrong and to forgive me. Again she was cold…

All of these strange experiences have happened the last 6 months, and her menopause started quite some years ago…

I will take your advice and do as you say and talk to her.

I hope that anyone with experiences will share them with me..
Again, thank you all for the fast responses..

 

[Lindy50]

alzheimer, is there a way you could relax a bit with your mom? Watch a film, paint your nails, go for a walk, or whatever? Try to get into a relaxed mood if you can, tell her something of your life as well as asking about hers....don't push it, that way I think she's more likely to confide in you.

I'm sure you know that, of course Just thought I'd mention it. Good luck xx

 

[Benrese]

Hi Alzheimer,

No matter what, you and your sister knows something is not right. Your gut instinct is worth listening to. You truly lose nothing in trying to get your Mum evaluated in some way. If it's nothing, then all will be well and eventually forgotten, with the knowledge her girls were just trying to keep her safe.

If it is "something", it is absolutely critical she get seen now. Early diagnosis is something so many don't get a chance to have. There are many things that are available now that could help, if she does have Az.

I see it as a win/win. You won't rest easy until you can be sure.

Your mum has raised a very compassionate and smart young lady.

Cheers,