Does dementia have a self destruct button?

[Macduff]

My wife has never been cooperative with me (her hubby) or any of the medics and health professionals who have tried to help her over the past couple of years. This is year seven since her diagnosis. She's been in hospital for the past two weeks because she could not get out of bed. She went straight from the hospital into a nursing home because I cannot now give her the care she needs. Now she seems to have lost the ability to lift a cup or suck on a straw. She is refusing every attempt to help her. She gets agitated and tells every one to leave her alone.There seems to be a pattern of plateau and decline which has increased rapidly over the past few months. Is this normal? I feel she is on self destruct?

 

[Guzelle]

I have noticed a decline in my OH every 3 months. He gets more agitated, aggressive and confused for a while. Then seems to be ok for a while but his symptoms become worse after this period of agitation. I can think back for at least 2 years maybe longer. He has been diagnosed for 3 years but this pattern started about 6 years ago.

 

[karaokePete]

That plateau then decline is typically seen in Vascular Dementia.

The refusing help may be a side effect of Anosognosia, a dementia symptom where there is lack of self awareness of ones condition due to the brain pathology. Why would one accept people fussing if you aren't aware of anything being wrong, sort of thing.

Whatever the cause, such situations are difficult and I wish you both the strength to deal with all that's involved

 

[Hazara8]

My wife has never been cooperative with me (her hubby) or any of the medics and health professionals who have tried to help her over the past couple of years. This is year seven since her diagnosis. She's been in hospital for the past two weeks because she could not get out of bed. She went straight from the hospital into a nursing home because I cannot now give her the care she needs. Now she seems to have lost the ability to lift a cup or suck on a straw. She is refusing every attempt to help her. She gets agitated and tells every one to leave her alone.There seems to be a pattern of plateau and decline which has increased rapidly over the past few months. Is this normal? I feel she is on self destruct?

Every one of us is different. And once afflicted with dementia, we behave individually, subject to the dementia and our inner selves. Agitation was quite frequent with my late mother. But this abated once she "settled" into the Care Home. There were moments of refusal to eat and weight loss, but then a sudden upturn and a kind of normality. Of course once a person enters that "end stage" whereby food and drink become seemingly intrusive if not simply something to be rejected out of hand, then you have to adopt a very real acceptance factor in your understanding. But one should not assume anything whilst the loved one exhibits the strength of character which might prove to be positive in outcome. Day to day is not such a bad credo in these scenarios, rather than projecting outcome which might simply not come about. Dementia is a potent entity which knows nothing of emotion nor the like. You give it immense respect in terms of the one it inhabits, you have to, else face total despair. In doing that you remain in touch with your loved one, despite everything. That love cannot be touched nor harmed in any way by the disease. Therein lies genuine comfort and absolute truth.

 

[Macduff]

Every one of us is different. And once afflicted with dementia, we behave individually, subject to the dementia and our inner selves. Agitation was quite frequent with my late mother. But this abated once she "settled" into the Care Home. There were moments of refusal to eat and weight loss, but then a sudden upturn and a kind of normality. Of course once a person enters that "end stage" whereby food and drink become seemingly intrusive if not simply something to be rejected out of hand, then you have to adopt a very real acceptance factor in your understanding. But one should not assume anything whilst the loved one exhibits the strength of character which might prove to be positive in outcome. Day to day is not such a bad credo in these scenarios, rather than projecting outcome which might simply not come about. Dementia is a potent entity which knows nothing of emotion nor the like. You give it immense respect in terms of the one it inhabits, you have to, else face total despair. In doing that you remain in touch with your loved one, despite everything. That love cannot be touched nor harmed in any way by the disease. Therein lies genuine comfort and absolute truth.

Thank you so much for your insightful response Hazara8. Yes, each day, almost each minute, is different. She is certainly challenging and whilst that makes it difficult for everyone who cares for her I guess I should see it as a strength that will see her through to a more settled pattern of behaviour given time. Here's hoping!

 

[Countryboy]

Does dementia have a self destruct button that’s up the Individual

Well for starters age is a major factor and our body parts including the brain wear out unfortunately on TP were not always informed of the persons age,

Ok if you read up on dementia : It appears there are over 100 diseases that may cause dementia and it could lead to negative thinking.
The Physical effects of that our body lowers its defences, as negativity subtracts from our energy then the extent of the negative feelings can go from anger, to frustration, irritability, to anxiety and depression, passing through many other feelings, possibly suicide none of them pleasant.

Whereas apositive attitudeis the opposite it gives good mood feeling providing we don't dwell on medical worries , just get living life to your full capacity you won’t be here forever

“it will all end one day “

 

[dancer12]

My wife has never been cooperative with me (her hubby) or any of the medics and health professionals who have tried to help her over the past couple of years. This is year seven since her diagnosis. She's been in hospital for the past two weeks because she could not get out of bed. She went straight from the hospital into a nursing home because I cannot now give her the care she needs. Now she seems to have lost the ability to lift a cup or suck on a straw. She is refusing every attempt to help her. She gets agitated and tells every one to leave her alone.There seems to be a pattern of plateau and decline which has increased rapidly over the past few months. Is this normal? I feel she is on self destruct?

Hi Macduff:

I believe it comes from fear, fear of the unknown, fear of strange people (I don't know you, why are you trying to help me), fear of unfamiliar faces & places leading to confusion, the fear of being alone in a strange place with nobody to help them, insecurity & confidence. Unfortunately this takes a great toll on their health.