Dad agreed to move into a care-home - 3 months ago, aged 97- after a fall, suspected ita, hospital stay,and us realising he wasn’t safe at home alone anymore. Was very confused- not knowing how / when to take medication/ what time of day it was or what food he’d eaten. Since my mum died he’d spent virtually 3 years alone, apart from cleaners an hour a day.
He’s been in the care home 3 months now and has since turned 98. Seemed to be settling ok at first. He liked the food, agreed the carers were kind and seemed to appreciate the attention and help. However, he stayed mainly in his room for the first couple of weeks as he said he didn’t want to sit in the lounges with the ‘old fogies’!
Care staff are kind, and attentive, and have encouraged him to walk to the lounges (with frame) and take a seat with the others, initially to watch entertainment each day( although he says it’s rubbish).
One lounge seems to be full of people who are not with it, TV on, no conversation. Other 2 lounges better- quite a few who can do puzzles, read or watch Tv. Dad has a few ‘friends’ now, who wave & chat a little with him (although some of it doesn’t make sense). Dad’s short term memory is poor but he can still look at his newspaper & do the daily crossword. He also has several other crossword books to do. He seems to gravitate towards the inactive lounge even though the other lounges seem better for him. I’ve asked the staff to steer him towards the more active areas, but it’s not working too well. He does happily go to the dining room to eat with others.
He’s lost the ability to use the Tv controls in his room, has forgotten how to play music on his Bose machine, & cannot operate his audio books or kindle anymore.
He can still operate his iPad!! Looks at tube, Google’s things & FaceTimes family everyday. Can be very annoying & persistent with it- calling sister & I many times a day & during the night. Very repetitive conversations that he immediately forgets.
Also, mostly complaining, saying he’s very upset & unhappy, repeatedly asking us what he should be doing.
Sister & I are both getting quite upset about the negativity ,all the calls and his inability to listen /remember our suggestions. Would it be cruel to remove his iPad? Could say it was broken & in repairers? I could take mine on visits so he could speak to my sister every couple of days.
He keeps saying he’s unhappy & confused, that he doesn’t have control of his routine and doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be doing. Often says he’s not had food - but has put on 7 kilos since living there!
He’s now saying he is responsible for the others, he seems to think it’s his house and he’s in charge of them & responsible for them. Has started to say the carers aren’t there when wanted( always seem to be around when I visit) He dies have a call bell in his room and a responsive mat which alerts carers.
I’ve been visiting every other day, sister when she can every few weeks( lives 3 hours away)
Going to speak to the manager tomorrow….. any suggestions or advice? Any one experienced this - what did you do?
He’s been in the care home 3 months now and has since turned 98. Seemed to be settling ok at first. He liked the food, agreed the carers were kind and seemed to appreciate the attention and help. However, he stayed mainly in his room for the first couple of weeks as he said he didn’t want to sit in the lounges with the ‘old fogies’!
Care staff are kind, and attentive, and have encouraged him to walk to the lounges (with frame) and take a seat with the others, initially to watch entertainment each day( although he says it’s rubbish).
One lounge seems to be full of people who are not with it, TV on, no conversation. Other 2 lounges better- quite a few who can do puzzles, read or watch Tv. Dad has a few ‘friends’ now, who wave & chat a little with him (although some of it doesn’t make sense). Dad’s short term memory is poor but he can still look at his newspaper & do the daily crossword. He also has several other crossword books to do. He seems to gravitate towards the inactive lounge even though the other lounges seem better for him. I’ve asked the staff to steer him towards the more active areas, but it’s not working too well. He does happily go to the dining room to eat with others.
He’s lost the ability to use the Tv controls in his room, has forgotten how to play music on his Bose machine, & cannot operate his audio books or kindle anymore.
He can still operate his iPad!! Looks at tube, Google’s things & FaceTimes family everyday. Can be very annoying & persistent with it- calling sister & I many times a day & during the night. Very repetitive conversations that he immediately forgets.
Also, mostly complaining, saying he’s very upset & unhappy, repeatedly asking us what he should be doing.
Sister & I are both getting quite upset about the negativity ,all the calls and his inability to listen /remember our suggestions. Would it be cruel to remove his iPad? Could say it was broken & in repairers? I could take mine on visits so he could speak to my sister every couple of days.
He keeps saying he’s unhappy & confused, that he doesn’t have control of his routine and doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be doing. Often says he’s not had food - but has put on 7 kilos since living there!
He’s now saying he is responsible for the others, he seems to think it’s his house and he’s in charge of them & responsible for them. Has started to say the carers aren’t there when wanted( always seem to be around when I visit) He dies have a call bell in his room and a responsive mat which alerts carers.
I’ve been visiting every other day, sister when she can every few weeks( lives 3 hours away)
Going to speak to the manager tomorrow….. any suggestions or advice? Any one experienced this - what did you do?
