Dad is incontinent. Refusing to wear pad or pull up. Not even a sheath. Simply he rips them off and throw them to the middle of the room. At best he urinates in the middle of the room. It is getting very difficult with changing and showering 3 times a day especially when the day is spent answering his demands on other stuff. He black mails me when I try to be firm. I am tired. Any advise? Please
Dad rips off incontinent pads advice please
- Thread starter Amna
- Start date
I kno
I know this is an old post .Do you have carers in? It is very difficult if you cannot get him to accept them. I look after dad with the help of carers.Dad has a catheter and wears pull ups as he is now having accidents. I stopped doing dads personal care a while back as it got too much and it was my line in the sand so to speak. Is it just you on your own with him? I would try and get some help with carers. Very often someone in uniform seems to have a better effect than a member of the family..No other suggestions sorry.
hello @Amna
a warm welcome to DTP
a tricky situation for you
any chance of finding some onsie underwear that does up at the back so it's harder for him to take off pull-ups
does your dad show any signs that he is ready to 'go', so that you can watch out and get him to the loo ... maybe toilet him every couple of hours in the hope you'll reduce the problem
maybe the pull-ups feel too thick, try a thinner one for a while?
rather than a full on shower every time, maybe a good flannel wash or use adult cleansing wipes
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/toilet-problems-continence
you sound as though you need some support and a break ... has there been an assessment of your dad's care needs by his Local Authority Adult Services and a carer's assessment for you, to look at some home care visits, day care and respite
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-support-services
a warm welcome to DTP
a tricky situation for you
any chance of finding some onsie underwear that does up at the back so it's harder for him to take off pull-ups
does your dad show any signs that he is ready to 'go', so that you can watch out and get him to the loo ... maybe toilet him every couple of hours in the hope you'll reduce the problem
maybe the pull-ups feel too thick, try a thinner one for a while?
rather than a full on shower every time, maybe a good flannel wash or use adult cleansing wipes
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/toilet-problems-continence
you sound as though you need some support and a break ... has there been an assessment of your dad's care needs by his Local Authority Adult Services and a carer's assessment for you, to look at some home care visits, day care and respite
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-support-services
I had similar problems with my dad @Amna so I know how frustrating it is to have to deal with the constant clean ups when it could be so easily solved if only he’d wear the pull-ups!
like the others I found that dad was more co-operative with carers than he was with me. I told him the doctor said he had to wear the special pants to stop his bum getting sore as he spent a lot of time sitting down and he sort of accepted this but it was still a battle and I got very stressed although I tried not to show it.
Dad made all sorts of excuses for the wet patches everywhere, spilt drinks were a favourite and once he told me a man had been through the lounge with a watering can. He just didn’t realise he was responsible for the puddles so was understandably reluctant to wear pads or pull-ups.
I found this phase the most frustrating one of caring for my dad and it wasn’t until he had carers 4 times a day that things improved. Even then he could be difficult.
If you can afford one an electric carpet washer makes cleaning up much easier and helps to keep the odour down.
like the others I found that dad was more co-operative with carers than he was with me. I told him the doctor said he had to wear the special pants to stop his bum getting sore as he spent a lot of time sitting down and he sort of accepted this but it was still a battle and I got very stressed although I tried not to show it.
Dad made all sorts of excuses for the wet patches everywhere, spilt drinks were a favourite and once he told me a man had been through the lounge with a watering can. He just didn’t realise he was responsible for the puddles so was understandably reluctant to wear pads or pull-ups.
I found this phase the most frustrating one of caring for my dad and it wasn’t until he had carers 4 times a day that things improved. Even then he could be difficult.
If you can afford one an electric carpet washer makes cleaning up much easier and helps to keep the odour down.
