Dad is 96 and I am 70 - he has been living on his own for the last 8 years. In that time he has slowly deteriorated until he has great trouble walking, is incontinent and has early stage dementia. I have been his carer the last 8 years, although I was just preparing meals, washing and shopping etc. to start, but during the last three years we have had local carers to help me. But gradually he has become more frail and beginning to have falls in his house to the point where the carers and his doctor say that he really should not be on his own. He has had a couple of visits to hospital (the first in his life) just recently with UTI's. He has no other ailments or conditions and takes no medication only the anti-biotics for the water infections - which have not really cleared it up.
He is now in respite at a local care home that he used to go for day-care. I visit virtually everyday. It has upset me to see him there and of course I am judging the care he is given. He keeps saying he doesn't want to stay there and how long before he can go home. I tell him that he has to try and get a little stronger and to be able to walk.
I visited yesterday around their tea-time, Dad would not eat anything, I took in fresh home made pie and scones but he would not eat that either, He was also wet which he was never at home and they say they won't use the over-protect wear because of sores etc. So he has his normal boxer shorts and a pad, even his cushion was soiled. He had fallen out of bed in the morning and on top of all this they have lost his hearing-aid that was replaced the last time he was in respite at another home.So I came home very upset and angry, I did inform the manager and she said they will arrange an appointment at the local audiology department. He his in the dementia unit and I just feel so guilty - apparently Dad had not eaten anything the day before yesterday. I don't know what to do. I feel I want to shout at the staff that they are not caring for Dad. My husband says I must try not to get so involved now he is there and that I can't go back to doing all the work that I have been doing. I am shaking and getting upset while I am writing this. I would be grateful for some advice.Thanks
He is now in respite at a local care home that he used to go for day-care. I visit virtually everyday. It has upset me to see him there and of course I am judging the care he is given. He keeps saying he doesn't want to stay there and how long before he can go home. I tell him that he has to try and get a little stronger and to be able to walk.
I visited yesterday around their tea-time, Dad would not eat anything, I took in fresh home made pie and scones but he would not eat that either, He was also wet which he was never at home and they say they won't use the over-protect wear because of sores etc. So he has his normal boxer shorts and a pad, even his cushion was soiled. He had fallen out of bed in the morning and on top of all this they have lost his hearing-aid that was replaced the last time he was in respite at another home.So I came home very upset and angry, I did inform the manager and she said they will arrange an appointment at the local audiology department. He his in the dementia unit and I just feel so guilty - apparently Dad had not eaten anything the day before yesterday. I don't know what to do. I feel I want to shout at the staff that they are not caring for Dad. My husband says I must try not to get so involved now he is there and that I can't go back to doing all the work that I have been doing. I am shaking and getting upset while I am writing this. I would be grateful for some advice.Thanks
