My Dad got diagnosed with vascular dementia in July of this year and has private care 4x a week 3x a day along with my fiancé helping all day the other 3x a week. The private care are useless but doesn’t help with my Dad being stubborn and unwilling to eat when asked, prompted the care to make dinner no matter what my Dad says but still don’t seem to want to cook meals. I don’t have any family help apart from my older brother who has his own family and struggling with mental health, all other family members live far away or abroad. All been left on myself and fiancés shoulders but we constantly discuss when the best time would be to put Dad in a home, definitely no time soon as his health is fine but memory is becoming poor but we both have jobs and it’s starting to take its toll. Any help or someone who’s been In a similar situation who could give some advice?
Dad has Vascular Dementia
- Thread starter dale85
- Start date
I intend to go into a local dementia home and get some advice there but also going to go my Dads local GP and get some more help there. I’m sure a lot of people have the same problems as myself and struggle for help, one thing I don’t want to do is take Dad away from home cos that’s his happy place but want to put things in place when things become significantly worse which may not happen for a few years but seen a lot of change in a short space of time.
He has water infections quite a lot and also heart failure which doesn’t help his vascular Dementia. When he was in hospital beginning of the year the doctor said his heart failure will kill him before his dementia but his heart failure has now gone to mild.
We also caught him having a seizure a few months ago which was a scare which the Doctor never mentioned but currently everything is ok
When does it come to the point when you have to look at homes in peoples experience?
He has water infections quite a lot and also heart failure which doesn’t help his vascular Dementia. When he was in hospital beginning of the year the doctor said his heart failure will kill him before his dementia but his heart failure has now gone to mild.
We also caught him having a seizure a few months ago which was a scare which the Doctor never mentioned but currently everything is ok
When does it come to the point when you have to look at homes in peoples experience?
I have a carers group that meets once a month for two hours. They're invaluable for advice and sometimes a few of us meet up for coffee and it's relaxing for me and mum. I didn't think my mum would want to go to the memory cafe, but she loved it and was a different person back at home, asking when the next one was.
I'm in the Cotswolds. If this is miles away, have a look at local dementia groups, often posters in the doctor's promote them and memory cafes. I was a bit worried my mum would hate the dementia cafe, so i checked it out on my own. I met others carers there and we met up for coffee one day. We've now formed 'the unofficial DCG' (dementia coffee group). I can not wait to meet up again in the new year. It gives me a chance to chat to other carers and my mum is meeting new people.
@dale85
Put your postcode in here https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you & it will tell you what is available near you.
Put your postcode in here https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you & it will tell you what is available near you.
