Dad aware that he’s ‘lost the plot’

[AhElPea]

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some tips, or maybe just some empathy, not quite sure what! My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2019, and recently we’ve seen a real deterioration. He’s now at the point where he’ll frequently go to do something and lose what he’s doing half way through. This recent deterioration has been really quick, so just been the last few days that it’s been this pronounced. He’s in that seemingly really horrible spot of still being aware of how much he’s struggling, and it’s incredibly difficult to watch. He’ll tell me how ‘nothing’s working’ and he’s ‘really lost the plot’ etc. I try and empathise and validate his feelings, I also shine a light on how well he’s doing where I can, but mainly just empathise. I’m anticipating that this stage may not last long, and that he may lose some awareness soon, but wondered if anyone had any phrases they would use that have worked well to gently reassure their loved one at this stage? Or general tips/virtual hand holding!! Sending love and light to all.

 

[jennifer1967]

my husband has vascular dementia diagnosed 2020. hes losing some of his words or cant explain what he wants to and just says shut up ivor! i suppose hes given it a name. i usually say, it will come back meaning that not to panic and may think of it again. he is still knowing that he finds it difficult and can voice that. i also say that im his memory but so he knows that hes not on his own. vascular tends to plateau and then go down in steps then stay there before going down another step. logic and sequence tends to be more difficult.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Mum has vascular dementia and does have insight into her condition but not 100 percent
She says for example my head is all over the place today, worse than us usual!
She can tell me about upsetting hallucinations
But she will make decisions which aren’t wise. At that point she has no insight into the consequences of poor decision making down the line.
I try not to get into any arguments, I tell her we will sort this memory thing together. We don’t use the D word.
sometimes I go behind her back and undo decisions that she has made, I do this in faith with the woman she used to be. I feel like a rat tho.
I wonder if it will be easier when things progress further ?