Hi Everyone
I joined this forum a few years ago but kept away due to various circumstances, but wanted to come back and get more involved now things are a bit more stable.
My mum was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimers 5 years ago and lived at home with my dad. He became immobile, mum became more and more violent and the system finally put mum into full time care home as dad was in and out of hospital. He too went to the same care home in the end as he couldnt have coped at home. Have to say it is a great care home and the burden was eased off my shoulders, having had to clear out their house, get probate, etc.etc.
They had a year together in the care home until dad passed away in December 2015. Mum saw him every day but didnt even understand he had died, and never once mentioned him.
She's lost her husband, 2 brother, godson and closest friend in all that time and totally unaware, so Ive had to carry all that as well as my own grief for dad. Im her legal Deputy so have a big responsibility with all i do for her and its logged for annual Court of Protection audits.
Mum now doesnt speak, although tries the odd word or two. Thankfully medication has calmed her down and seems happy in her own little world. She smiles and laughs a lot which is great, and there is always light in her eyes. She is well cared for and I visit fairly regularly. My brother, my niece and my youngest son all live abroad and my other son has Epilepsy and cant drive at the mo and isn't too near to visit mum either, so still have all the responsibility on my shoulders.
The longer mum lives, the harder i find it to deal with. She is being kept alive on drugs, has no real quality in life, has to have everything done for her and bit by bit, am losing my mum. I feel this is worse than her dying, as I'm grieving for the mum she was but she is in theory still here!
Im sure many of you must be dealing with the same feelings and unless you have been in this boat, not many people fully understand how hard it is. It knocks me sideways for a couple of days after each visit, ramming it home how she has changed and become a different mum.
No local support groups near me, which is something I may consider setting up one day.
Reading everyones stories on here are horrendous, heartwarming, sad... so many emotions we all face... but good to know in a sense that we aren't alone.
My heart goes out to everyone coping with a loved one with this horrendous disease.
I joined this forum a few years ago but kept away due to various circumstances, but wanted to come back and get more involved now things are a bit more stable.
My mum was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimers 5 years ago and lived at home with my dad. He became immobile, mum became more and more violent and the system finally put mum into full time care home as dad was in and out of hospital. He too went to the same care home in the end as he couldnt have coped at home. Have to say it is a great care home and the burden was eased off my shoulders, having had to clear out their house, get probate, etc.etc.
They had a year together in the care home until dad passed away in December 2015. Mum saw him every day but didnt even understand he had died, and never once mentioned him.
She's lost her husband, 2 brother, godson and closest friend in all that time and totally unaware, so Ive had to carry all that as well as my own grief for dad. Im her legal Deputy so have a big responsibility with all i do for her and its logged for annual Court of Protection audits.
Mum now doesnt speak, although tries the odd word or two. Thankfully medication has calmed her down and seems happy in her own little world. She smiles and laughs a lot which is great, and there is always light in her eyes. She is well cared for and I visit fairly regularly. My brother, my niece and my youngest son all live abroad and my other son has Epilepsy and cant drive at the mo and isn't too near to visit mum either, so still have all the responsibility on my shoulders.
The longer mum lives, the harder i find it to deal with. She is being kept alive on drugs, has no real quality in life, has to have everything done for her and bit by bit, am losing my mum. I feel this is worse than her dying, as I'm grieving for the mum she was but she is in theory still here!
Im sure many of you must be dealing with the same feelings and unless you have been in this boat, not many people fully understand how hard it is. It knocks me sideways for a couple of days after each visit, ramming it home how she has changed and become a different mum.
No local support groups near me, which is something I may consider setting up one day.
Reading everyones stories on here are horrendous, heartwarming, sad... so many emotions we all face... but good to know in a sense that we aren't alone.
My heart goes out to everyone coping with a loved one with this horrendous disease.
