Considering building work, your opinions?

[JMU]

Dad and I live in a cottage that is roughly 200 years old. When we first moved in it was a hovel, and barely liveable. Over the years we have done work on it, as and when we could afford it, and turned it into a real home. However there are still a few things that really need sorting.
The back wall of our house was put up some time during the 60's by a previous owner. The house used to be first in a court, but ours, and two to our left are the only surviving. So when the rest were knocked down the rear wall of our house had to be replaced. Whoever built it put up one thin layer of basic concrete blocks and rendered it. No insulation. And the wall butting up against it is old, worn stone, and we have previously been told- 'fragile'.
We have had new windows, two layers of loft insulation and central heating, but the back bedroom in winter may as well be in the garden. The back bedroom is dad's. Not to mention the black spots of damp that regualrly appear all over the wall, and that cannot be good for his health.
I really would like to get the rear of the house externally rendered, possibly with extra insulation added to the front downstairs (though this would have to be internal as our house leads directly onto the pavement of the main street of our town).
It would be of huge benefit, particularly to dad when it starts to get cold, as well as cutting down on bills. And we may even be eligible for a grant with it, although the patchwork nature of our house, and the previous work done might make that just a little too complicated. Either way I would be willing to pay for it myself if I had to.
But my fear is that the disruption would be too much for dad. He's getting more and more confused now- today for the first time he asked me where his parents were (he has always known they were dead before), and it takes such a small amount for him to lose his bearings. Not to mention the logistics of getting the work done. Do I want that extra stress?
I am wavering between asking for quotes and giving up the idea altogether. I've even considered getting the work done while dad is in respite for a week, when I am on holiday, but don't even know if that would be possible. So I've decided to get opinions on the matter. What are your thoughts?

 

[60's child]

Hi
Sound like the improvements would be worth it in the long run. How long would it take? If you can get it done whilst your Dad is in respite that would probably be best. Why dont you get some quotes and find out about time scales for the work to be done. Maybe explain to the builders what your concerns are regarding your Dad and see how they react. Good ones will be sympathetic and will try to take into account your situation. Very often though, work will over run. You may need a back up plan ie is there someone else in the family your Dad can stay with or a longer peiod of respite just in case. I wish you luck with your decision. We are having to consider completely knocking down our delapidated bungalow that we only brought as it was next door to Mum. I dont relish the chaos and the muddle Mum will get into........

 

[Aquamanda]

I would go ahead with the work; the worst thing that can happen is that it may cause some temporary upset for your Dad but I would imagine it won't have a permanent negative effect on him and he will soon forget.
I totally agree that you need to get the builder on side so maybe the bit that will affect your Dad the most in terms of noise and disruption could be done while he is in respite.
Would there be any chance of your Dad going to a day centre while some of the work is taking place or could you take him out for a few hours at a time?
In the long run the work will benefit your Dad so don't worry; am sure the disruption won't be as bad as you think.

 

[Anongirl]

Hi JMU. My mum lives alone and over the last four weeks has been having her kitchen completely refitted. I was dreading the disruption and confusion it would cause her but I have to say she actually dealt with it quite well. There were a few ups and downs but on the whole she adapted very well all things considered. She actually seemed to quite enjoy having the workmen around sometimes for a chat!

She's very easily disorientated too but the workmen seemed to be very understanding towards this and didn't leave things lying around or change things too much, etc.

She didn't like it when they went upstairs to sort out some wiring though and said they had gone through her drawers. All in all though she coped much better than I expected.

It's hard to know until you try and it does sound like it will benefit him in the long run.

Respite might not be a bad idea for the worst of it though.

Good luck x

 

[malc]

i'd do what the council did with the concrete prefabs,build a brick outer skin outside and then insulate it that way,limited hassle inside.

 

[di65]

Hi JMU

I had a similar but not so comprehensive dilemma - we only needed painting done. It did however require the complete emptying of our living area as the walls and ceiling desperately needed attention. I put this work off time and time again as I was worried about the effect it would have on my husband. I eventually decided it HAD to be done, and got quotes etc before deciding on a contractor that was able to do it within a week and was reputable. I alerted them to my husband's condition and they took that into consideration. I need not have worried as it turned out. The painters included him in their work, asking him to help put covers on, bring in ladders etc etc. It helped that one of the painters had a family member who was an Alzheimers sufferer and knew 'the drill'. My husband now tells everyone very proudly that he helped paint the room, and as time goes on he thinks he did more and more bless him. I would suggest, as other have, try to get extra respite care, but definitely go ahead with the work.

 

[rajahh]

My husband would not cope with the decorations and works mentioned in the previous replies.

It really depends on how you feel your father would be. My husband is very negative about workmen, thinking they are ripping us off, delaying jobs to get more money etc. I get worked up just getting a washer changed let alone a wall rendered!!!!
Problem with organising it for the week your father is in respite is you cannot guarantee the weather, so may not be possible.

Will there have to be scaffolding??? This could cause problems and more cost too.


Sorry to be pessimistic but felt I had to give my opinion too.

Jeannette

 

[starryuk]

I think you should go ahead. Definitely. Especially if you may get some contribution towards it. Your dad needs a warm comfortable environment. Take advantage and get your home in the best possible condition for you and him.

It seems that the upset for your dad, if any, will probably be only temporary.

Good luck,

 

[dottyd]

I think an outside insulated wall is best way to go too

 

[pippop1]

Do you know a surveyor? Perhaps a friendly one might, for a small fee, give their opinion on the best way to improve the building whilst minimising disruption? Perhaps a £100 visit might be a wise investment?

It's also good for you to understand exactly what needs to be done in order to talk to builders and get quotes