Confused

[Little Circles]

My mum (75) had a really bad fall last year and was very lucky to survive we are told, she was in hospital for approx 8 weeks and made a good recovery physically but mentally she is confused, disorientated and very forgetful, she thinks she can see her parents in the garden etc
We have had numerous CT scans and a MRI scan and it show signs of brain atrophy more than they would expect of her age, they have ruled out vascular dementia but we are awaiting to see an neurologist as they suspect Alzheimer's
Some days my mum is bright and with it and other days confused and can't remember anything
Could dementia have been caused by the fall or perhaps there before and accelerated the symptoms
She is on a lot of medication for diabetes and thyroid issues
Hoping for a few pointers as to how to proceed in caring for her needs

 

[nellbelles]

Welcome to TP, so sorry you had to find us in such difficult circumstances, I doubt you will ever know all the reasons I didn't.

You are quite right one day at a time, love your Mum for who she is.
I hope you can all work together as a family.

Please keep posting so you can get the support you all need.

 

[Plisnit]

My mum (75) had a really bad fall last year and was very lucky to survive we are told, she was in hospital for approx 8 weeks and made a good recovery physically but mentally she is confused, disorientated and very forgetful, she thinks she can see her parents in the garden etc
We have had numerous CT scans and a MRI scan and it show signs of brain atrophy more than they would expect of her age, they have ruled out vascular dementia but we are awaiting to see an neurologist as they suspect Alzheimer's
Some days my mum is bright and with it and other days confused and can't remember anything
Could dementia have been caused by the fall or perhaps there before and accelerated the symptoms
She is on a lot of medication for diabetes and thyroid issues
Hoping for a few pointers as to how to proceed in caring for her needs

I don't think a fall could cause dementia, but the shock could accelerate what was there already; that's what happened to my mum following a fall in August. It's tough adapting when the change is so rapid.
Make sure you look after yourself. Visiting somebody for 8 weeks in hospital is stressful enough and now you have all this to deal with. Have you got other family members to help share the load?

 

[Little Circles]

Thanks for the replying, I tend to think that the fall accelerated symptoms
I have my dad but all this is taking its toll on him as he seems to have become a 24/7 carer and he is not in good health himself, I have a sibling but lives the other end of the country so I have got Mum and Dad to look after
The strain is taking its toll on my Dad
I seem to sort out medication run a diary system for appointments
Mum seems to have forgotten how to do anything around the house and thankful to Dad who helps organise meals etc
I seem to have 'lost' my Mum and our roles are now reversed
My Mum seems to have had a personality change being very aggressive and thinks everyone wants to take away her things
But then some days she seems as she used to
be. I find it hard to see her change from one person I have known to another I don't
She seems to want to spend money recklessly on clothes Makeup anything for herself but disregards my Dad she has become very self obsessed
I feel I am treading water and applied for POA for both parents but even that feels alien
I think I need to try and get some help but my Dad doesn't want anyone in the house to help other than me and as I have a youngish child I find it difficult to be there for everyone
I seem to have become a parent to
my parents.

 

[Grannie G]

My father had a bad fall and banged his head on the concrete. He later developed what was then called `fluid on the brain`, as a result of the fall, and then showed all symptoms of dementia.

This was in the late 1960s and less was known about dementia then but looking back I now realise it was what he had only it was given a different name.

I was always told falls can be dangerous, especially when elderly, so who knows what damage your mother suffered.

 

[Little Circles]

My Mum fell down a full flight of stairs but thinking back her memory wasn't that good before
so perhaps the fall accelerated the symptoms
The head injury unit told me that a fall would not have caused the Alzheimer's, will feel better once we have seen the Neurologist so we can know what we are dealing with


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[Oh Knickers]

Hi Little Circles,

This sounds very stressful for both you and your Dad especially as it has come on so quickly. There is a lot here that will help you. I am very aware I am giving you what may seem a long list when you have so much on your plate as well as trying to care for your little one. However, you need support and guidance and the steps below will help get you and your Dad that.

If you can, ha! adding to your list! Keep a note somewhere of all the things that your mum is doing so that you can raise with the GP and in Consultant's meetings.

Practical Steps

Support
Alzfheimer's Society
I have found them a fount of knowledge, a pool of sanity and particularly useful on local knowledge on how things work. They will also know of local groups your mum can attend to give your Dad a break which sounds sorely needed. If you scroll down the page on the link below you and put in your parent's post code You will then get the local office.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

Admiral Nurses
Another site good on guidance and ideas
0800 888 6678

Age UK
Another useful group. They have befrienders - there is a charge - that they match to your parent's interests and will come to the house. This might be useful for your mum to give your Dad a break. A friend of mines MIL - a difficult woman - has got this setup and it has been a rip roaring success.
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/

POA
Sounds as though you this in hand. Make sure you have both Health and Welfare as well as Finance. Some GPs and Consultants get a bit sticky if you do not have the Health and Welfare.

Age UK or CAB can help you with these as well.

Finances.
This is chaos on wheels for you both.
There are cards where you can put on a certain amount each month which would limit your mum's pending. FX I think is one. If you have a look on the website Money Saving Experts these are discussed there.

An alternative, but more long haul, is to open a second bank account - either for mum or Dad (if he can cope with the change) and deposit so much a month for your mum.
Getting your mum out a bit more in some clubs should help limit her ability to spend.

Attendance Allowance
This can be done online or CAB or Alzheimers or Age UK can help you fill this one in. It is useful to get this sorted for two reasons. Firstly it will help fund any care your mum needs such as the Age UK befriender. It is also the first part of the paper trail for SS (Social Services) should your mum need a Care Home.

Council Tax
Once you have a formal diagnosis for your mum of whatever form of dementia you can apply for this online. Before the Consultant's appointment print of the form online and ask the consultant to fill it in.

You are looking for Council Tax Disregard. Then Mental Incapacity Disregard - charming name - not. This will give a reduction in Council tax - which again can go towards your mother's care or a cleaner.

The organisations above can help you with both of these forms which can help with stress levels.

Please keep posting here. Partly for offloading and partly because there is so much help and guidance that other posters can guide you with from their own experience.

 

[Little Circles]

Thanks a lot for the information I will start looking into things
Many Thanks


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