Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum and hoping for some advice about my mum.
Over the last year or so I have noticed that my mum is struggling with things that she has previously done with ease in the past, and she constantly asks my dad how she should be doing simple things like cooking etc. She seems to struggle to follow conversations and often gets confused during the course of a simple discussions. She also can repeat herself and ask the same questions with the same short period of time, i.e. during a phone call. I have felt that my dad has been trying to cover up these times, and I finally managed to sit down and talk to him alone about my concerns. I felt bad speaking to him behind her back, as such, but I know that if I try and tackle my mum she will just dismiss it as old age (she is 73), but I feel it is more than that.
My dad admitted that there are problems and that my mum is aware of it. He says she has lost her confidence to do be able to do things right (like cook dinner) because she forgets quickly what she needs to do. I think they have discussed things like her going to the doctor in the past but she is not interested in doing this. However, because she is aware that she is less capable this does seem to make her very anxious, and in a way this is worse than the memory problems as it upsets her.
Having read up on dementia via this website I do think we are perhaps at an early stage, as mum can function on a day to day level, albeit with more support than before with my dad, and I am keen for my mum to investigate if there are ways to make her feel better, but my dad doesn't want me to discuss it with her and he doesn't want to force her to go to the GP. He says he can deal with it. Whilst I respect this, I don't want to leave it if there are ways to make her feel better available.
I am also concerned about my dad. He is disabled and has been very reliant on mum over the years and I am not sure how well he will cope mentally if he is trying to manage it by himself. Now we have spoken I feel that I can check up on how they are doing but I am also concerned that he may not be totally honest with me unless things have got significantly worse and then it will be too late to do anything.
I am planning to see how things go over Christmas but beyond that I really don't know how to proceed.
Any ideas/experiences would be really appreciated.
Thank you for listening.
Over the last year or so I have noticed that my mum is struggling with things that she has previously done with ease in the past, and she constantly asks my dad how she should be doing simple things like cooking etc. She seems to struggle to follow conversations and often gets confused during the course of a simple discussions. She also can repeat herself and ask the same questions with the same short period of time, i.e. during a phone call. I have felt that my dad has been trying to cover up these times, and I finally managed to sit down and talk to him alone about my concerns. I felt bad speaking to him behind her back, as such, but I know that if I try and tackle my mum she will just dismiss it as old age (she is 73), but I feel it is more than that.
My dad admitted that there are problems and that my mum is aware of it. He says she has lost her confidence to do be able to do things right (like cook dinner) because she forgets quickly what she needs to do. I think they have discussed things like her going to the doctor in the past but she is not interested in doing this. However, because she is aware that she is less capable this does seem to make her very anxious, and in a way this is worse than the memory problems as it upsets her.
Having read up on dementia via this website I do think we are perhaps at an early stage, as mum can function on a day to day level, albeit with more support than before with my dad, and I am keen for my mum to investigate if there are ways to make her feel better, but my dad doesn't want me to discuss it with her and he doesn't want to force her to go to the GP. He says he can deal with it. Whilst I respect this, I don't want to leave it if there are ways to make her feel better available.
I am also concerned about my dad. He is disabled and has been very reliant on mum over the years and I am not sure how well he will cope mentally if he is trying to manage it by himself. Now we have spoken I feel that I can check up on how they are doing but I am also concerned that he may not be totally honest with me unless things have got significantly worse and then it will be too late to do anything.
I am planning to see how things go over Christmas but beyond that I really don't know how to proceed.
Any ideas/experiences would be really appreciated.
Thank you for listening.
