Care home threatening to kick mum out - help please

Welshiecarer

New member
Apr 13, 2024
7
0
My mum has been in a care home for a year. During the last 6 months i have been called into the managers office 3 times to tell me that mum hasn’t been nice to another resident. It’s not the same person. Mum is a lovely 84 year old lady with dementia and they are threatening to kick her out. She loves her care home so would be devastated. Today they spoke to us about an incident 2 weeks ago! Mum says she cant remember but would apologise if she has upset someone. Any advice gratefully received
 

phill

Registered User
Aug 8, 2007
69
0
It’s not your responsibility to manage the dynamics between your mum and the other residents of her care home. If management think particular residents don’t get on with each other, they should be devising their own strategy to address that. Unless the care home’s management are explicitly saying in writing that they and their staff are unable to meet your mum’s needs any longer, it sounds very unlikely that they’d have grounds to “kick her out”. Is the care home’s contract with you, or with the council? If it’s with you, the contract should state the circumstances in which they can end it. If it’s with the council, tell social services what the care home have been saying, and ask them to take it up with the care home direct.
 

SAP

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
1,464
0
Your mum has dementia, she is not a naughty kid who needs reprimanding and told to behave herself! If the home can’t manage the flare ups between residents then they are in the wrong business. What on earth do they expect you to do? Sounds to me like they are being lazy. Unless your mum is now exhibiting quite common abusive behaviour that can happen with dementia then the home needs to step up and manage.
 

Muggers

Registered User
Mar 18, 2024
62
0
Your mum has dementia, she is not a naughty kid who needs reprimanding and told to behave herself! If the home can’t manage the flare ups between residents then they are in the wrong business. What on earth do they expect you to do? Sounds to me like they are being lazy. Unless your mum is now exhibiting quite common abusive behaviour that can happen with dementia then the home needs to step up and manage.
Completely agree, my mum was kicked out of a care home that she was having respite in, it caused so much upset, I received a phone call at work to tell me there had been an incident, I felt like a parent being contacted from school to say my child had been naughty, they said she had tried to throw hot soup over another resident, who would even give a person with dementia scolding hot soup was my first thought, they went on to tell me she tried climbing out of the window, this amazed me as she couldn’t at the time climb the stairs, when I arrived she had been isolated from everyone else, her comfort items had been taken away from her, she had wet herself, I was horrified seeing her sat alone in the bloody naughty corner, to cut a long story short and a huge argument, my mum came home with me that very same day.
 

Welshiecarer

New member
Apr 13, 2024
7
0
It’s not your responsibility to manage the dynamics between your mum and the other residents of her care home. If management think particular residents don’t get on with each other, they should be devising their own strategy to address that. Unless the care home’s management are explicitly saying in writing that they and their staff are unable to meet your mum’s needs any longer, it sounds very unlikely that they’d have grounds to “kick her out”. Is the care home’s contract with you, or with the council? If it’s with you, the contract should state the circumstances in which they can end it. If it’s with the council, tell social services what the care home have been saying, and ask them to take it up with the care home direct.
Thanks Phil. I hadn’t thought of looking at the contract. It is very upsetting, but lovely to have people on here with good advice. Thank you
 

Welshiecarer

New member
Apr 13, 2024
7
0
Your mum has dementia, she is not a naughty kid who needs reprimanding and told to behave herself! If the home can’t manage the flare ups between residents then they are in the wrong business. What on earth do they expect you to do? Sounds to me like they are being lazy. Unless your mum is now exhibiting quite common abusive behaviour that can happen with dementia then the home needs to step up and manage.
Thanks SAP. You are right. They do Need to step up and manage
 

Welshiecarer

New member
Apr 13, 2024
7
0
Completely agree, my mum was kicked out of a care home that she was having respite in, it caused so much upset, I received a phone call at work to tell me there had been an incident, I felt like a parent being contacted from school to say my child had been naughty, they said she had tried to throw hot soup over another resident, who would even give a person with dementia scolding hot soup was my first thought, they went on to tell me she tried climbing out of the window, this amazed me as she couldn’t at the time climb the stairs, when I arrived she had been isolated from everyone else, her comfort items had been taken away from her, she had wet herself, I was horrified seeing her sat alone in the bloody naughty corner, to cut a long story short and a huge argument, my mum came home with me that very same day.
That must have been so stressful for you. I hope your mum is ok now
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,706
0
Salford
If as the site name might and I say might suggest this is in Wales the it's the HIC rather than the CQC that cover these issues as far as I understand it. K
 

Welshiecarer

New member
Apr 13, 2024
7
0
If as the site name might and I say might suggest this is in Wales the it's the HIC rather than the CQC that cover these issues as far as I understand it. K
Thank you both thats helpful. It’s on my list ready for the next meeting
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,706
0
Salford
HIC is the Welsh equivalent of but so much more generous than the English equivalent which is Care Quality Comission CQC funding.
I'm rubbish at posting links but someone will for me no doubt, I hope.
Limits of capital are different, payments...so many important bits are so much more generous in Wales compared to England.
CQC and HIC may be described as equivalent until it comes to them putting their hands in their/the taxpayers pockets, suddenly there becomes a difference. K
 

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