Care home or Home care 24/7

[Kazzy2016]

Hi

Mum is finding a care home difficult and they are finding it difficult to care for her to the extent of asking me to remove her.
Would she do better with home care 24/7 in an environment she finds familiar? Where she knows the peop,e around her and the immediate locality. She looks so sad and lonely every time I leave it’s breaking me apart and she seems so alone.

Care homes may seem like the ideal solution but they are not a ‘one size fit all’ solution. Also the good ones are always full. I want to see her happy again the only time I see her smile is when we visit.

 

[father ted]

Kazzy2016, sorry that the care home is not working out. How long has Mum been there's?

I guess that that question is immaterial as the home are wanting her to leave as well. Is her behaviour challenging in anyway that they can't manage her? From your post it doesn't sound like that and how distressing for you both, your Mum to endure it and you to witness it.

My Mum has recently gone into a home and settled well but around 6 years ago my aunt had a stroke and although she made a good physical recovery she developed vascular dementia. It was decided that she was not safe in her own home with just 4 visits a day and that's why the care home was suggested but my aunt was adamant she would not stay there so we lied and said she could go home with a live in carer and then the carer would leave when she was fit and well. Of course the carer never left and she was there about 18 months.
At first my aunt hated that too. She hated a 'stranger' in her personal space, I felt a bit sorry for the carer too.
However when the carer had her break for a couple of weeks and the agency sent a replacement my aunt missed her so much. Fortunately my aunt had the finances to do it as it works out very expensive to pay a carer 24/7 plus all the regular utility bills and household bills but it mean't that she was in her beloved bungalow with it's pretty garden and neighbours close by. It made her as happy as she could be in the circumstances. Good luck. It is so upsetting to see someone you love so unhappy.

 

[Amethyst59]

For us, money was a big consideration. I was quoted a price for 48 hours continuous care at home ...and we are paying just £200 a week more for a two bed apartment in a care home complex, everything included...cleaning, meals, carers, activities, laundry etc etc.
I’m sure a live in carer would have been cheaper than the agency I had the quote from, but my husband needed more care than one person could provide. If your mother is proving too challenging for a home, than I doubt one person could provide care for her.