Can someone please help dads being inappropriate in care home

[Yates05]

My dad as. Vascular dementia and in a care home but as started being inappropriate with other residence this is now getting out of hand and he is being sexual with them , he as been on every 30 mi ute checks but now I really don't know what's going to happen as we need one on one care but social services probably won't do it what will happen to him and will he be removed from the home ? As I can't see us finding an all male environment home , please any advice at all as I'm at the end of my tether with it

 

[love.dad.but..]

I recently posted on TP about another male resident inappropriately touching Dad and that this resident had become fixated on Dad but not any other resident male or female. Dad was not able to react to the intimate touching which in a way made it more difficult as probably a year ago he would have vocally alerted staff. The situation was monitored and regular checks made but there are many moments when unless 1 to 1 monitoring is given, opportunities arise when staff are not around etc. Dads nursing home is on two floors so as the problem was escalating and this chap persistent he was moved to the other floor. The home involved the mental health team immediately and meds were given to lessen the sexual aspect of his mental decline. I understand these measures have calmed him with only a few instances happening now so a manageable improvement. I understand how it must be upsetting for you but the heightened sexual awareness for some pwd can be a fairly common part of certain types of dementia. Speak to the manager and request the mental health become involved urgently to see what help can be offered. Whilst my priority was to resolve the matter for my dad I really felt for this chap and his family, it couldn't be helped, but how it is dealt with is important.

 

[Yates05]

Thanks so much for the advice I will contact the home tomorrow and ask for the mental health team to be involved , it's so difficult as the home called me this morning regards another incident with him and I m so scared he will be kicked out of the home ,

I recently posted on TP about another male resident inappropriately touching Dad and that this resident had become fixated on Dad but not any other resident male or female. Dad was not able to react to the intimate touching which in a way made it more difficult as probably a year ago he would have vocally alerted staff. The situation was monitored and regular checks made but there are many moments when unless 1 to 1 monitoring is given, opportunities arise when staff are not around etc. Dads nursing home is on two floors so as the problem was escalating and this chap persistent he was moved to the other floor. The home involved the mental health team immediately and meds were given to lessen the sexual aspect of his mental decline. I understand these measures have calmed him with only a few instances happening now so a manageable improvement. I understand how it must be upsetting for you but the heightened sexual awareness for some pwd can be a fairly common part of certain types of dementia. Speak to the manager and request the mental health become involved urgently to see what help can be offered. Whilst my priority was to resolve the matter for my dad I really felt for this chap and his family, it couldn't be helped, but how it is dealt with is important.

 

[Shedrech]

hello Yates05
welcome to TP
a tricky situation for you to face, so I'm glad you've found TP to air your concerns - especially as love.dad.but.. has been able to reply so quickly and hopefully help settle your mind
your dad's home does seem to be trying to support him through this - I hope they will call in the mental health team immediately - maybe also ask to speak with your dad's GP so that the GP is involved, especially to review your dad's meds
I wonder what the layout of your dad's home is like - are there areas where your dad can be more separate form the residents he's overly interested in eg a quiet lounge - might he spend some time on another floor? - I know that in dad's home there have been a couple of residents who had 1-to-1 support, so it can be available
keep posting here to get things off your chest
best wishes

 

[Yates05]

Thank you so much for your response I am so glad I came across this site this morning because dads care is really getting me down its one thing after another as he had to move homes 4 months ago because his home closed down so you can imagine the upset , thanks so much for your response it means a lot

hello Yates05
welcome to TP
a tricky situation for you to face, so I'm glad you've found TP to air your concerns - especially as love.dad.but.. has been able to reply so quickly and hopefully help settle your mind
your dad's home does seem to be trying to support him through this - I hope they will call in the mental health team immediately - maybe also ask to speak with your dad's GP so that the GP is involved, especially to review your dad's meds
I wonder what the layout of your dad's home is like - are there areas where your dad can be more separate form the residents he's overly interested in eg a quiet lounge - might he spend some time on another floor? - I know that in dad's home there have been a couple of residents who had 1-to-1 support, so it can be available
keep posting here to get things off your chest
best wishes

 

[Slugsta]

Hi, I'm sorry you have this to worry about. It's one thing after another with dementia, isn't it?!

What medication is your dad taking? There have been some cases, here on TP, of increased sexual behaviour being linked to donepezil. It might be worth discussing with your dad's medics to see whether a change of medication could help.