Bathroom problems

Jelly171

New member
Nov 17, 2023
7
0
I’ve just spent an hour in the bathroom with my husband trying to write a list of steps to perform to use the toilet. This is probably the tenth attempt in the last week. He is insisting that he can do this. When do you give up? I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do next.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,404
0
Nottinghamshire
I feel for you @Jelly171 . I found bathroom issues most difficult to cope with. I don’t think explaining will help. Have you got help coming in? It might be time to consider it so your husband gets used to having others around for when things get too much for you to manage on your own.
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
1,012
0
Hello @ jelly171, I think if you are at the stage of writing a list for your husband then you are not going to overcome this issue. It's likely that although he may still be able to read that he has little comprehension.

I think it may be time for you to take your husband to the toilet and talk him through the sequence. I have been taking my oh for a year now and he has progressed to the stage where he's becoming double incontinent. He now wears pull up incontinence pants as a safety pants as he is very often too late with using the toilet.

I have pants provided by the incontinence team ,free on the NHS and I have a radar key so we can use the disabled access toilets when we're out.
 

Jelly171

New member
Nov 17, 2023
7
0
I feel for you @Jelly171 . I found bathroom issues most difficult to cope with. I don’t think explaining will help. Have you got help coming in? It might be time to consider it so your husband gets used to having others around for when things get too much for you to manage on your own.
Thank you - it’s good to hear I’m not on my own. My husband doesn’t think he needs help but I’m beginning to think it might be time. We are meeting with our Alzheimer’s adviser soon and I’m hoping this might help us move forwards.
 

Jelly171

New member
Nov 17, 2023
7
0
Hello @ jelly171, I think if you are at the stage of writing a list for your husband then you are not going to overcome this issue. It's likely that although he may still be able to read that he has little comprehension.

I think it may be time for you to take your husband to the toilet and talk him through the sequence. I have been taking my oh for a year now and he has progressed to the stage where he's becoming double incontinent. He now wears pull up incontinence pants as a safety pants as he is very often too late with using the toilet.

I have pants provided by the incontinence team ,free on the NHS and I have a radar key so we can use the disabled access toilets when we're out.
I go with him to the toilet but he is insistent that if he has a list, he can manage. He has to start one every time we go in the bathroom and gets upset when I won’t help. I’ve bought pads but he refuses to wear them. I’m just trying to stop him getting wound up as he is generally very placid. Thanks for listening.
 

TMH

Registered User
Nov 21, 2022
24
0
Hello @ jelly171, I think if you are at the stage of writing a list for your husband then you are not going to overcome this issue. It's likely that although he may still be able to read that he has little comprehension.

I think it may be time for you to take your husband to the toilet and talk him through the sequence. I have been taking my oh for a year now and he has progressed to the stage where he's becoming double incontinent. He now wears pull up incontinence pants as a safety pants as he is very often too late with using the toilet.

I have pants provided by the incontinence team ,free on the NHS and I have a radar key so we can use the disabled access toilets when we're out.
My dad is doubly incontinent but still feels he needs to go to the loo. He regularly pees on the bathroom and kitchen floor and he wears pull-ups. I've found the best way to help him is to quietly follow him not making a fuss or asking questions, let him know I'm there for help and then cleaning up when he's missed. I've found it pointless doing anything else because all I was doing was upsetting myself because he doesn't know any better any
more. When I go out I take a bag of stuff with me, just like I did when my children were young x
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
1,012
0
My dad is doubly incontinent but still feels he needs to go to the loo. He regularly pees on the bathroom and kitchen floor and he wears pull-ups. I've found the best way to help him is to quietly follow him not making a fuss or asking questions, let him know I'm there for help and then cleaning up when he's missed. I've found it pointless doing anything else because all I was doing was upsetting myself because he doesn't know any better any
more. When I go out I take a bag of stuff with me, just like I did when my children were young x
@TMH , hello, my OH has accidents on the bathroom floor. Usually as I'm pulling the pull up down . I have puppy pads on the floor around the toilet. I cut the shape of the toilet out so it fits like a traditional toilet mat. I can then just pick up the pad and throw it away in a nappy bag.

I have a backpack that I hang on the back of my oh wheelchair with a clean pair of trousers, no rinse cleaning product and large dry wipes. As you say ,the sort if things you take with a young family.

If you haven't already got one I suggest the radar key is a must . X
 

TMH

Registered User
Nov 21, 2022
24
0
@TMH , hello, my OH has accidents on the bathroom floor. Usually as I'm pulling the pull up down . I have puppy pads on the floor around the toilet. I cut the shape of the toilet out so it fits like a traditional toilet mat. I can then just pick up the pad and throw it away in a nappy bag.

I have a backpack that I hang on the back of my oh wheelchair with a clean pair of trousers, no rinse cleaning product and large dry wipes. As you say ,the sort if things you take with a young family.

If you haven't already got one I suggest the radar key is a must . X
I saw that key in boots, I'll definitely pick one up, thanks 🥰