Hi, wishing everyone as healthy and happy a new year as possible!
I'm usually very quiet on the forum, just reading and gaining comfort, inspiration and helpful tips/info from all of you wonderful people - but life is getting more challenging looking after my Dad and I think it will do me good to connect more with others who know and understand what life can be like. And hopefully also offer my support to others.
My mum had mixed dementia and Dad and I cared for her at home, with carers support, until she passed away 10 years ago. My Dad just turned 86 and sadly was also diagnosed with mixed dementia last year and then more recently with Polycythaemia Vera treated with long term chemotherapy.
He's still able to live at home on his own, with me visiting a couple of times a week. So far he's been able to keep managing his basic daily routine and I handle weekly meal prep, medications, bills, appointments, big cleaning etc. It's tiring, but manageable.
But the past couple of months, particularly since starting the chemo tablets, his behaviours are changing - most noticeably seeing things (at the moment it's a mystery cat that only he can see) terrible nightmares, confusion at night and wandering around the house lost, a bit of anxiety and paranoia creeping in.
These symptoms are sadder and more difficult to manage than the more practical stuff - I can see he's struggling to understand why he doesn't feel like himself. I remember this 'transitional' phase with mum, before she was completely lost to us and it really scares me - I'm so afraid anticipating what is to come, from past experiences.
He doesn't yet have high care needs, but I can see it may not be long until my Dad needs someone (me) there overnight and I just don't know how that's going to work - it's just him and I, no siblings or other family nearby that can really help and I have a full time job that I can't afford to reduce.
I know we'll cross these bridges as we come to them, and find a way through, I try not to let myself think too far ahead as you can't control it anyway, but the background of constant intense worry is there nevertheless.
Anyway, sorry to go on - I'm not looking for answers, just sharing some worries
I'm usually very quiet on the forum, just reading and gaining comfort, inspiration and helpful tips/info from all of you wonderful people - but life is getting more challenging looking after my Dad and I think it will do me good to connect more with others who know and understand what life can be like. And hopefully also offer my support to others.
My mum had mixed dementia and Dad and I cared for her at home, with carers support, until she passed away 10 years ago. My Dad just turned 86 and sadly was also diagnosed with mixed dementia last year and then more recently with Polycythaemia Vera treated with long term chemotherapy.
He's still able to live at home on his own, with me visiting a couple of times a week. So far he's been able to keep managing his basic daily routine and I handle weekly meal prep, medications, bills, appointments, big cleaning etc. It's tiring, but manageable.
But the past couple of months, particularly since starting the chemo tablets, his behaviours are changing - most noticeably seeing things (at the moment it's a mystery cat that only he can see) terrible nightmares, confusion at night and wandering around the house lost, a bit of anxiety and paranoia creeping in.
These symptoms are sadder and more difficult to manage than the more practical stuff - I can see he's struggling to understand why he doesn't feel like himself. I remember this 'transitional' phase with mum, before she was completely lost to us and it really scares me - I'm so afraid anticipating what is to come, from past experiences.
He doesn't yet have high care needs, but I can see it may not be long until my Dad needs someone (me) there overnight and I just don't know how that's going to work - it's just him and I, no siblings or other family nearby that can really help and I have a full time job that I can't afford to reduce.
I know we'll cross these bridges as we come to them, and find a way through, I try not to let myself think too far ahead as you can't control it anyway, but the background of constant intense worry is there nevertheless.
Anyway, sorry to go on - I'm not looking for answers, just sharing some worries
