Hi everyone, I have only posted once before, a few weeks ago, to say hello - thankyou to those who replied 
Things have changed a lot in last few weeks. In October/November, Dad was in respite due to his full time carer (Mum) needing a small op. She was beginning to consider making it a permanent arrangement as she was struggling with the physical elements of moving him as well as his challenging and unpredictable bouts of aggression. He was relatively settled there (we think, he has v little speech). Anyway, he was on a watch and see as it was felt that he may need EMI nursing due to complexity, unpredictability etc. Early December he was admitted to hospital with what turned out to be an infection which was cleared within 3 days and he was pronounced medically fit. When the hospital contacted the care home re taking him back there, they dropped the bmbshell that they didn't feel they wanted him back. He was 5 days in hospital at this point, had been independently mobilizing and eating although needed supervision due to a tendency to move things around and to react aggressively without warning. We then waited until 22 December for a D2A bed. During this time, he was left in bed on a surgial ward as he was too much work for the nurses and he became very lethargic and sleepy, alternating with immense agitation. On 22 Dec, withing 4 hours of arriving at D2A placement, he collapsed with critically low blood pressure and was unresponsive. Mum was there and was able to follow the ambulance to our local hospital. Turns out that while in the bigger hospital, he had become very very severely dehydrated!!!!!! (another issue which is in hand with PALS) Had to begin the process all over again and was noticeably declining mentally and physically. Fast forward to now, back in D2A where he went on 1 Jan, he is literally either asleep, or writhing around like a baby in his cot bed, cycling his legs and just working his way up and down the bed. It made me think of a beetle on his back who can't get up. They had a flu outbreak so no physios etc been going in and basically he has had no therapeutic input of note since 5 December. He now can hardly swallow, has lost any remaining speech, and can barely walk a few steps with 2 carers supporting him. He isn't eating much and falls asleep whilst being helped to eat. He is terribly agitated but doesn't seem 'upset' as such. He's really not with it at all and cannot engage apart from grabbing anything at all that might help him sit up. But if we sit him up, he wriggles back down!
I really don't think much will improve now. He has not been 'medically' sick since 7th/8th December, but being left in hospital in an inappropriate setting had made him decline so quickly dementia wise.
It just feels like he has gone. He doesn't recognise me or mum. He has no sensory stimulation or daytime 'community' time as seems too weak to sit in a chair for more than a few minutes. The staff are amazing, nothing is too much trouble and they are so calm and kind , and very very on the ball with recording everything. They are first and foremost an assessment centre and don't have permanent residents.
They say he may need to remain there another 4 weeks in order to get full picture. I partly agree because, if he does get mobile again, they are likely to see much more in terms of challenging behaviour. At the moment he punches and grabs over personal care which has been a trigger for a long time.
But we also want him somewhere permanent - he's been a bit like an unclaimed parcel since 5 December - and this is just too much for Mum to bear.
Would it be reasonable of me to ask the home manager if she can fast track everything to get him into a permanent placement?? How do we know if he might be in his last few months?
He is 84 and has had Alzheimers for at least 7 years that we know of, the last 8 months severe/late stage with double incontinence, no speech, limited understanding/hallucinating/aggressive/unpredictable/mobile but difficulty getting up/ needed a lot of help to eat etc.
I'm so sorry for such a long rant - it feels like a heavy load right now. I'm Mum's support network, I'm dealing with all the paperwork and bureacracy, worried sick about my Dad fading every time \I see him.... I also have MS and ridiculous fatigue!!
But poor Dad..... floating around 'the system' since beginning of December, and possibly until middle of Feb
Things have changed a lot in last few weeks. In October/November, Dad was in respite due to his full time carer (Mum) needing a small op. She was beginning to consider making it a permanent arrangement as she was struggling with the physical elements of moving him as well as his challenging and unpredictable bouts of aggression. He was relatively settled there (we think, he has v little speech). Anyway, he was on a watch and see as it was felt that he may need EMI nursing due to complexity, unpredictability etc. Early December he was admitted to hospital with what turned out to be an infection which was cleared within 3 days and he was pronounced medically fit. When the hospital contacted the care home re taking him back there, they dropped the bmbshell that they didn't feel they wanted him back. He was 5 days in hospital at this point, had been independently mobilizing and eating although needed supervision due to a tendency to move things around and to react aggressively without warning. We then waited until 22 December for a D2A bed. During this time, he was left in bed on a surgial ward as he was too much work for the nurses and he became very lethargic and sleepy, alternating with immense agitation. On 22 Dec, withing 4 hours of arriving at D2A placement, he collapsed with critically low blood pressure and was unresponsive. Mum was there and was able to follow the ambulance to our local hospital. Turns out that while in the bigger hospital, he had become very very severely dehydrated!!!!!! (another issue which is in hand with PALS) Had to begin the process all over again and was noticeably declining mentally and physically. Fast forward to now, back in D2A where he went on 1 Jan, he is literally either asleep, or writhing around like a baby in his cot bed, cycling his legs and just working his way up and down the bed. It made me think of a beetle on his back who can't get up. They had a flu outbreak so no physios etc been going in and basically he has had no therapeutic input of note since 5 December. He now can hardly swallow, has lost any remaining speech, and can barely walk a few steps with 2 carers supporting him. He isn't eating much and falls asleep whilst being helped to eat. He is terribly agitated but doesn't seem 'upset' as such. He's really not with it at all and cannot engage apart from grabbing anything at all that might help him sit up. But if we sit him up, he wriggles back down!
I really don't think much will improve now. He has not been 'medically' sick since 7th/8th December, but being left in hospital in an inappropriate setting had made him decline so quickly dementia wise.
It just feels like he has gone. He doesn't recognise me or mum. He has no sensory stimulation or daytime 'community' time as seems too weak to sit in a chair for more than a few minutes. The staff are amazing, nothing is too much trouble and they are so calm and kind , and very very on the ball with recording everything. They are first and foremost an assessment centre and don't have permanent residents.
They say he may need to remain there another 4 weeks in order to get full picture. I partly agree because, if he does get mobile again, they are likely to see much more in terms of challenging behaviour. At the moment he punches and grabs over personal care which has been a trigger for a long time.
But we also want him somewhere permanent - he's been a bit like an unclaimed parcel since 5 December - and this is just too much for Mum to bear.
Would it be reasonable of me to ask the home manager if she can fast track everything to get him into a permanent placement?? How do we know if he might be in his last few months?
He is 84 and has had Alzheimers for at least 7 years that we know of, the last 8 months severe/late stage with double incontinence, no speech, limited understanding/hallucinating/aggressive/unpredictable/mobile but difficulty getting up/ needed a lot of help to eat etc.
I'm so sorry for such a long rant - it feels like a heavy load right now. I'm Mum's support network, I'm dealing with all the paperwork and bureacracy, worried sick about my Dad fading every time \I see him.... I also have MS and ridiculous fatigue!!
But poor Dad..... floating around 'the system' since beginning of December, and possibly until middle of Feb
