Hello everyone, my name is Natalie and it's lovely to have found this forum. It is great to know there is a place to connect with others in similar circumstances. It is a sad situation having to care for someone but I have found the difficult times interspersed with surprisingly wonderful moments too, so I hope we'll be able to share both the good and the bad.
I don't suppose any of you also live in Dorchester or perhaps the surrounding villages in Dorset? I'd love to find some people to meet with occasionally for a cuppa to provide understanding and a bit of support so please get in touch if you are local. I would love to hear from you.
Unfortunately I've not been able to find any in person support groups for carers that meet at times I am could join them. My great aunt who I am now supporting quite a bit actually lives in Devon, over an hour's drive from me in the next county. As I work full time and only manage to get down to visit her every few weeks I'm sadly not able to take her along to any events or groups where we could both mingle a bit and get to know other people in similar situations.
I have to do a lot of trouble shooting for her remotely, which is not ideal for either of us and it makes it harder for me to connect with people that get it what it is like and build a support network for either of us. I'm in danger of becoming a bit isolated as friends, family and acquaintances don't always get what it is like for me as I do my best to support her. I sense their severe discomfort when I answer their questions truthfully, and find it hard to bear the well meaning but often misguided comments and advice that I receive from them. As most of them have no experience of caring for anyone and only limited understanding of dementia or other cognitive impairments they struggle with the feelings that arise in them when they realise they are out of their depth and don't know what to say. Their urge to say SOMETHING generally causes them to come out with things that invariably miss the mark and I find unhelpful at best and even hurtful at times, only making me feel even worse for the interaction. I don't always have the energy to pretend I'm doing fine, and I struggle to say things like "I'd rather not talk about it thank you." as I worry about hurting or offending them, so I find myself avoiding conversations and social situations in order to prevent this situation arising.
I'm doing my best to make new connections and build a support network for myself specifically to help me come to terms with and do my best in my role as her carer, as I can see that this is going to be essential for my own well being as well as helping me to help her, but it's not proving easy.
I only moved to Dorchester myself a couple of years ago, and I work mostly from home so I don't know a huge number of people that live local to me anyway.
If you don't live nearby or would not wish to meet up, it would still be lovely to connect on this forum so it'd be lovely to hear from any of you!
Wishing you all the best, and thank you for reading. xx
I don't suppose any of you also live in Dorchester or perhaps the surrounding villages in Dorset? I'd love to find some people to meet with occasionally for a cuppa to provide understanding and a bit of support so please get in touch if you are local. I would love to hear from you.
Unfortunately I've not been able to find any in person support groups for carers that meet at times I am could join them. My great aunt who I am now supporting quite a bit actually lives in Devon, over an hour's drive from me in the next county. As I work full time and only manage to get down to visit her every few weeks I'm sadly not able to take her along to any events or groups where we could both mingle a bit and get to know other people in similar situations.
I have to do a lot of trouble shooting for her remotely, which is not ideal for either of us and it makes it harder for me to connect with people that get it what it is like and build a support network for either of us. I'm in danger of becoming a bit isolated as friends, family and acquaintances don't always get what it is like for me as I do my best to support her. I sense their severe discomfort when I answer their questions truthfully, and find it hard to bear the well meaning but often misguided comments and advice that I receive from them. As most of them have no experience of caring for anyone and only limited understanding of dementia or other cognitive impairments they struggle with the feelings that arise in them when they realise they are out of their depth and don't know what to say. Their urge to say SOMETHING generally causes them to come out with things that invariably miss the mark and I find unhelpful at best and even hurtful at times, only making me feel even worse for the interaction. I don't always have the energy to pretend I'm doing fine, and I struggle to say things like "I'd rather not talk about it thank you." as I worry about hurting or offending them, so I find myself avoiding conversations and social situations in order to prevent this situation arising.
I'm doing my best to make new connections and build a support network for myself specifically to help me come to terms with and do my best in my role as her carer, as I can see that this is going to be essential for my own well being as well as helping me to help her, but it's not proving easy.
I only moved to Dorchester myself a couple of years ago, and I work mostly from home so I don't know a huge number of people that live local to me anyway.
If you don't live nearby or would not wish to meet up, it would still be lovely to connect on this forum so it'd be lovely to hear from any of you!
Wishing you all the best, and thank you for reading. xx
