Aggressive behaviour

[Mullie]

My mother used to be such a lovely lady but her behaviour has changed since having dementia.

Since breaking her hip, which has now healed, she refused to the exercises and now can't walk. Due to this, carers have go in four times a day to change her pads, prepare meals etc. Earlier this year, she went to the lounge but now she can't be bothered to even get out of bed. My main concern is the fact that she attacks the carers and me with her long nails. She doesn't understand that she needs to be changed, she screams at the carers, telling them to get out of her house. I had to grab her hands and cut them as low as possible yesterday. She took a few chunks out of me but I had to take the risk for the safety of the carers as she keeps scratching them and they may start to refuse to care for her.

Does she need to go in to a home and be sedated?
Thanks
Anita

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @AnitaCripps and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community. I am sorry to hear about your mother. My wife wasn't as aggressive as you describe but did go through a phase of aggression after she moved into a care home. She was prescribed Lorazepam on as needed basis but this was discontinued as her behaviour improved as she settled in. Another lady in the home sounds rather more like your mother but sedation is rarely used and certainly not as a matter of course.

Making the care home decision is hard but can benefit the person with dementia. Having a team of people always on hand can make a huge difference to behaviour and quality of life. This is achieved by promoting independence and personalised care.

This guide might be useful:

Care homes: When is the right time and who decides?

Advice and practical tips for carers on when is the right time for a person to be moved to a care home.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Alberta23]

This is a truly hard situation for you Anita. She sounds as if she has really struggled as well herself. To lose independence, dignity re needing pads and sitting in soiled pads, loss of Mobility, health can really upset people. Disorientate them. Bones can also still hurt even after they heal. My arm still hurts even after more than 40years after a break. I still cannot use it fully. Old people are weaker. More fragile so I doubt the healed bones are ever that strong again.
It sounds as if she is very depressed. Is it worth asking the doctor to give you more targetted advice. Age Uk are great with ideas and will chat over your situation. I am not sure sedation is a good idea. It could make your mum worse. My mum lost all will to live from sedation after too many painkillers were given to her after two arm injuries.

Would a hoist at home help to make pad changes easier? Does she need to use the toilet sometimes to prevent her having to soil herself. My mum really struggled using pads. She hated them.

Perhaps using gloves over her hands could help to reduce scratches during pad changes.

Making the pad changes less threatening may help. Doing them slowly. My friend had a shower wet room made for her Mum which made clean ups much less confrontational. Easier for carers.

She must have been in serious pain when her hip was broken. She will have lots of triggers in her head where people were cleaning her up using techniques that could have been too quick and black and white. My mum reacted to touch after some bad treatment. She would scream out and fight back if she was worried she was going to be hurt.

Maybe asking a therapist about calming techniques during difficult times may help to take some worry away. Rekindling positive touch techniques may help to calm her more when people touch her.

Laying her down for pad changes may also help reduce vulnerability around pain, falling etc.not sure how your carers change her.

Could she use a commode sometimes with a hoist?

Just throwing ideas out there for you. Hope they at least gove you a springboard to other ideas. You take care.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @AnitaCripps and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your mum and the difficulties you are having around personal care. It must be so difficult for a person with dementia to understand that the carers are only trying to help them, and that is why they can sometimes lash out due to anxiety. It might be useful to speak to your mum’s GP regarding anti anxiety medication. Sometimes this can help.
Regarding a care home, only you can tell when that time is right, but just to say that they do not keep residents sedated.