Aggressive Behaviour

[Thethirdmrsc]

Husband is almost 2 yrs after diagnosis, and at the end of last year he was put on half a tablet of Mertazapine. So we have jogged along. He’s been manageable, and I still work 2 days a week. We still have our camper van, although he had 2 sundowning episodes on our trip last month.
But recently, twice in the last week, he has been what can only be described as verbally aggressive. The first time on waking, accusing me of keeping him awake all night, and the dog being on the bed, she wasn’t. The second was tonight, because I cut his toenails, and because I groaned at the end as I was on my knees ( I’m 60, not 16!) he went off on one. He’ll never ask again, then he gets annoyed at the tea, the dog etc.
I went outside and threw a jug at the shed, and the bloody thing didn’t break!! Is this a beginning of an end?

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Thethirdmrsc, it's important to be concerned about this development and also protect yourself if it escalates. I think that a chat with the GP is a good start to dealing with this at the moment as a meds review may assist.

There's a Factsheet about this issue and in the hope that you can get some advice from it here's a link to it https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...ctsheet_dementia_and_aggressive_behaviour.pdf

If physical aggression occurs(and I hope that it doesn't) I have often seen it advised to have a safe room, with a safe exit available, and keep a phone to hand in case help needs to be summoned.

This may seem like a step too far. However, I have read that it can be useful to report any physical assault to the police as they will record that and this can be useful as a paper trail if you ever seek assistance from Social Services in the future.

You may get some useful communication tips from the thread that can be found by clicking the following link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[Ohso]

I dont mean to be flippant but its probably the end of the beginning and just a sign he has moved along the sliding scale, possibly as his condition progresses his grasp on reality takes a little twist and to make sense of these twists and turns he is trying out his version of reality on the person he trusts, but is really hoping you confirm it, instead you dont, leaving him on the defensive trying to prove ( more to himself than you) that he is right, he does remember correctly etc etc.
Xxxx its a horribly place to be xxx

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Thank you both. I read the sheet, and am seeing that he may have been humiliated at me doing his feet, although last month it was ok. I am now taking notes of the changes and how often so I can tell his consultant. I wish there was a 3 or 4 day course, like a first aid one, as this is like being dropped into a war zone. But if you live with a PWD, who gets time off?!

 

[marionq]

The humiliation explanation is at least partly true. My husband is not aggressive but he is becoming more resistant at times as I help him in the toilet. Nothing would please me more than not having to do this but he needs my help. The result is a fair bit of bruising on his lower back as he thrashes backwards on to the raised toilet seat. Will it get so bad I won’t be able to cope? I hope not but it’s already close.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

I sat on the bed and had a wee bubble to myself, and after a couple of hours he was “ almost normal” at bed time he said he was ashamed of his behaviour, and when I said it only happened a couple of hours ago, he couldn’t remember.
This morning I am a bit down, but, eat sleep repeat!