Got a letter from care home head office discussing what the procedure is with coronavirus in care homes and what happens if someone gets the virus. Mum care plan says about DNR but my dad who had a acute stroke don't remember putting it in my mums care plan mum suffers from swallowing issues and is scared she might catch it
Advance care plan
- Thread starter jelba
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That's a difficult situation.
I once read a Social Sciences text wherein it was suggested that when facing this situation many people let their inability to 'let go' of their loved one guide their decision and that if they decided on the basis of what they would want for themselves the decision may be different.
I have already had a discussion about this with my wife, who has dementia and is just beginning to exhibit some swallowing difficulties, and I wish you the strength you need in these circumstances
It is a horrible thing to have to contemplate, but better to do it now before anything happens, rather than wait until its urgent and everything is clouded by emotion.
OH and I have had the discussion - although he may not remember it now. A DNR is already done and if he gets corvid he will be treated at home and not go to hospital.
OH and I have had the discussion - although he may not remember it now. A DNR is already done and if he gets corvid he will be treated at home and not go to hospital.
I think canary has got it right. The worst time to make any decision is at a time of crisis when emotions and grief are at their worst.
It is better to be prepared and to have worked through this process with family before it comes to the point of a decision being made.
It is understandable that none of us want to let go of a loved one but often people delay because of their own pain. It is never a straightforward situation and many things complicate the issues.
However, from what I hear about this virus, it is a horrible way to die so a DNR might be the kindest thing to do.
It is better to be prepared and to have worked through this process with family before it comes to the point of a decision being made.
It is understandable that none of us want to let go of a loved one but often people delay because of their own pain. It is never a straightforward situation and many things complicate the issues.
However, from what I hear about this virus, it is a horrible way to die so a DNR might be the kindest thing to do.
Sorry if this is not on topic, but what have you heard that makes you say that? I've only heard Trump say it was 'a violent end' and this was refuted by NHS staff who are doing their usual palliative care and keeping dying people comfortable.
However, I agree with the assessment that DNR is probably kindest. DNR doesn't prevent palliative care being administered at home (or in care home). It's only resuscitation, but you can also specify to not be hospitalised. For a PWD this is almost certainly best, especially now when you cannot be accompanied.
My dad took a good day when a dr said he had capacity to insist he does not want a DNR filed.
This is quite aside, apparently, from his Christian scientist views that surface every time he's given a laxative or his prescribed donepezil.
(It's also a different story to what he told me years ago when he was well, but dementia has given him a zest for life previously unknown to us all, apparently.)
However, given the circumstances, I think they would likely keep him in the home if he caught it - which is pretty unlikely given the spread in his area is not high and it's a small home.
I had this difficult conversation with Mum's doctor last week after Covid-19 was confirmed in her CH. Hospital would be dreadful for her but I felt like saying that was a death sentence. The doctor was so kind and said that I was not to feel I was responsible, that she was the medical officer and that it was her responsibility. It helped a lot to hear that. And now my Mum has the virus and I would not want to have that conversation now.
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Hi @imthedaughter, you are quite correct, my Mum sadly contracted pneumonia (which is how this illness manifests itself) after a flu-type virus (antibiotics were tried and didn't work). Mum had end of life palliative care in the home, it was awful to witness but it was dealt with wonderfully by the Care Home and the GP Nursing Support, and Mum was comfortable to the end.
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum @istherelight?
I don't value anything Trump says.
My comment was derived from watching programs on our ABC and a virologist described what happened during the course of this virus. He explained clearly why older people were more vulnerable and that if you thought having influenza was bad, then having Covid 19 was ten times or more worse.
The same program also talked to a survivor of the virus and I wouldn't want to go through what she did. The different stages of giving oxygen, to intubation and to ventilation of different complexities is awful.
Ah I see. Yes I agree it doesn't sounds horrible, and intubation and the medical coma associated with ventilation is not to be taken at all lightly: recovery from that is, I understand, quite the ordeal, and probably impossible if you're not already quite fit. I thought you meant the end of life particularly.
I am glad @Pete1 that your mother was kept comfortable. That is how it should be.
