93yr old mother

[tarydew]

Mum has moderate dementia & now needs residential care funded by LAF due to her letting people in she doesn’t know & leaving her door open. mums home care package ends today due to carers no longer working in the area.
social services have been aware of this since beginning of May .
i have taken upon myself to source a home but due to the residents having advanced dementia in the homes ive visited they are not suitable for mums needs as she needs company & conversation & all above theLAF Cost.
i did find one suitable home but due to it being over the LAF budget they will not fund & I have no means to top up. Mum lives in social housing so no home to sell & no savings due to what she has been dealt with in life.
socisl services rang me at 5.20 on Friday & asked me to visit a home which is obviously within their budget but again unsuitable due to residents having advanced dementia & every door locked & a lift mum would be unable to assess on her own amongst other things & it would take away her independence.
I think my my only option would be to continue with a bigger home package but that is not going to cover the safeguarding issues & I have been filling the gaps with mums care but due to my own health issues I am no longer able to do this & the constant phone calls from mum asking me to come immediately due to her anxiety & her anxiety regarding someone breaking in at night.
But obviously my main worry is mum has no-one going in tomorrow . Her social worker has said she will be available tomorrow but what is the point in that. I’m assuming she means to get the paperwork done for me to move into the home they suggested.
i am at breaking point with it all & poor mum is in turmoil not knowing what’s happening which is having a detrimental effect on her health.

 

[SAP]

Unfortunately the homes avaliable to residents funded by the LA are few and far between. As they have given you details of at least two homes, they have fulfilled their duty. This does not help you or your mum sadly. Have you thought about out of area choices? Would your Mums LA consider this? I’m also wondering if the homes you have seen have different accommodation levels for differing stages of dementia. My mum is now in a unit for advanced dementia but the adjoining one has residents with far more ability. Locked doors are not uncommon in any care home if the need is to ensure residents can’t leave the building un supported if they have a DOLS in place. Like wise homes with lifts won’t let residents use them unsupervised due to numerous hazards and H&S regs. Maybe you need to think about what will be acceptable or a compromise and what is a definite no no.
Do you have LPA for H &W?

 

[SAP]

Hi , I responded to your other post. Just to add that your mums safety is now paramount and even a bigger home package will not keep her safe at night.
One other thought is that some homes will accept people up to a certain level of dementia and then they have to move on causing more distress for every one.
I know I’m probably telling you what you know and one of it helps , it’s a situation many of us have to face.

 

[tarydew]

Unfortunately the homes avaliable to residents funded by the LA are few and far between. As they have given you details of at least two homes, they have fulfilled their duty. This does not help you or your mum sadly. Have you thought about out of area choices? Would your Mums LA consider this? I’m also wondering if the homes you have seen have different accommodation levels for differing stages of dementia. My mum is now in a unit for advanced dementia but the adjoining one has residents with far more ability. Locked doors are not uncommon in any care home if the need is to ensure residents can’t leave the building un supported if they have a DOLS in place. Like wise homes with lifts won’t let residents use them unsupervised due to numerous hazards and H&S regs. Maybe you need to think about what will be acceptable or a compromise and what is a definite no no.
Do you have LPA for H &W?

Thank you for your reply.
ss have only given me details of one home. I have actually looked out of area & all the homes I have visited only have accommodation for advanced dementia.
The home I found mum would be able to access the lift on her own.
i do have LPA for both.
i am more than willing to compromise,i have spent weeks taking everything into consideration .
I know there is no perfect place but if mums not happy it will have a detrimental effect on her health & mine for that matter.

 

[tarydew]

Hi , I responded to your other post. Just to add that your mums safety is now paramount and even a bigger home package will not keep her safe at night.
One other thought is that some homes will accept people up to a certain level of dementia and then they have to move on causing more distress for every one.
I know I’m probably telling you what you know and one of it helps , it’s a situation many of us have to face.

Thank you for your reply.
i totally understand where you are coming from.
i have been informed by mums dementia team they don’t feel mums dementia will get worse & i have to say there’s been no change in the last 2 years & putting it bluntly she’s 93 now & not going to live for ever especially with having end stage heart & kidney failure

 

[SAP]

Thank you for your reply.
i totally understand where you are coming from.
i have been informed by mums dementia team they don’t feel mums dementia will get worse & i have to say there’s been no change in the last 2 years & putting it bluntly she’s 93 now & not going to live for ever especially with having end stage heart & kidney failure

So I wonder if the sw is looking at nursing care or not, that might change the perspective. Also , have you looked into CHC funding? It can take some time but you’ve got nothing to lose by looking into it.

 

[SAP]

Having read about your mums other health conditions , it does sound like her physical health is a priority. What ever the needs the LA have a duty to find a solution that safeguards her and that should include her emotional well being . Sorry you are having the battle, sometimes you have to be b minded with sw and the like and remind them of their responsibilities. Maybe have a chat with the help line.

Contact us

Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[tarydew]

So I wonder if the sw is looking at nursing care or not, that might change the perspective. Also , have you looked into CHC funding? It can take some time but you’ve got nothing to lose by looking into it.

Sw was looking into nursing care, so I did visit some nursing homes but all the homes said her care could be undertaken in residential with district nurses.
can you get CHC in residential do you please