Again! Outside looking in bin to see if it has been emptied, then waking me up to tell me it's still there. So sorry I got ratty and shouted please just stay in bed and go to sleep. Now out will be a bad day because he keeps telling me how badly I treated him. I just wish I could keep calm but Alzheimer's behaviour is driving me mad. Should I apologise???
5 am outside checking bins
- Thread starter Wifey1
- Start date
Please don’t feel bad @Wifey1, we all lose it at times especially if we are disturbed early in the morning. I hope that your day will not be too bad. You could try apologising but sometimes that can make things worse.
As for the future, some people have found that there loved ones get calmer others not, we just have to take one day at a time.
As for the future, some people have found that there loved ones get calmer others not, we just have to take one day at a time.
Hi @Wifey1 , personally if apologising would keep the peace then I'd apologise. I'm anything for a quiet life and you must think it would help if you are asking.
But....I tried apologising the other day to my OH after I lost my cool and he was adamant it wasn't me but the other lady in the other room! 😂
I don't think there is a carer that doesn't feel frustration sometimes x
Hello @Wifey1 . Our PWD ( who lived alone) was, apparently out at all hours of the night investigating his bin, and sometimes his neighbours. The neighbour’s daughter returning in the early hours ( oh to be young and out clubbing!) would see this on quite a regular basis. Fortunately, this behaviour didn’t impact on anyone, but it must be so frustrating for you to deal with.
Only you will know when the situation becomes untenable, but it’s best to be prepared before you reach crisis point. Do some research on next steps, so you have some sort of plan. That might make life a bit more bearable now.
In the meantime, If an apology might work then try it. But don’t apologise to yourself. It’s his dementia that ought to be apologising to you, but that’s an impossibility.
Only you will know when the situation becomes untenable, but it’s best to be prepared before you reach crisis point. Do some research on next steps, so you have some sort of plan. That might make life a bit more bearable now.
In the meantime, If an apology might work then try it. But don’t apologise to yourself. It’s his dementia that ought to be apologising to you, but that’s an impossibility.
OMG the obsession with bins, Dad never leaves them alone! I’m sure it could be listed as an official symptom. I would love to know why they are so interested in bins (Dad has never put the bins out in his entire married life, so why he is suddenly obsessed with them now?!) I wouldn’t mention the 5am argument, he has (hopefully) forgotten about it already. I read that people with dementia don’t remember conversations or events, just the emotions that they are feeling. Good luck x
hi Wifey 1 , personally i would apologise ,,,,🤨 anything for a quiet life , 🙏i seem to apologise several times a day 🥺,,,, it’s easier to just say sorry and then i say would you like a cup of tea ,,,, 😀🫖🍰 seems to do the trick , i hope you get some peace ,
we have 3 bins that are collected, Brown for garden rubbish, blue for tins glass and plastic, and green for food waste ,,, however when i complained to the council about all this sorting ,,, she said if it’s too much for you and your husband ,,,just put it all in the green bin ,,, but do sort out what you can etc , ( iknow it’s all about the environment) but it’s not working at our house as he gets mixed up with the bins a way ,,,,and when i point this out to him all hell is let lose,,,,” are you telling me how to do my job “ etc etc ,,,, i just can’t get it though to him ,,,,
Your not on your own ,
don’t go looking too far ahead ,,, that’s my way of dealing with it , i deal with today ,,,,today ,,,, and i’ll deal with tomorrow ,,,,tomorrow, if i started looking to the future ,,,,i think i’d run away ,,,, but then that would just put the problem onto my daughter ,,,,and she doesn’t deserve that ,,,, she’s brilliant in making sure I‘M OK ,, we bought lots of colouring books and pencils etc etc and he will spend 2/3 hours doing it , I leave the washing up to him even though i sometimes have to do them all again when he’s having a nap .
thats the only advise i feel knowledgeable enough to offer , i hope this helps ,
My neighbour’s family would put the bins out for her ready for collection the following day but she invariably took them back into the garden. Now they leave the small food recycling bin outside my house and I move it over to her house as late at night as I can because she has been known to bring it back in even on an icy winter evening. Although one morning it had disappeared by 7.15.a.m. when I was moving my car and the food bin man was coming round.
