1st appointment at memory clinic

[Newanne]

Well after a few years of worrying and watching my oh has an appointment at memory clinic this month. I'm worried how he'll react to a dementia diagnosis, or how I'll react if he doesn't. I'll NEVER get him to see a doctor again, it's taken me about 5/6y to get this far.
He has a questionnaire to fill in before he goes and I know he'll say nothing is wrong but a little memory problem. He doesn't seem to have any insight into all the other things he struggles with. I'm not sure if I should ring the clinic about it? Maybe it's all part if their test to check if he has insight, I don't know.

 

[Fugs]

@Newanne , you can also write a letter to the memory clinic covering your observations. I did for the second appointment when my wife underplayed her issues at the first appointment.
Good luck.

 

[Newanne]

@Newanne , you can also write a letter to the memory clinic covering your observations. I did for the second appointment when my wife underplayed her issues at the first appointment.
Good luck.

Thanks for replying fugs. I've decided to photcopy the form and fill it in myself, I can then hand it over at the appointment.

 

[Lawson58]

And add all the things you see that are not included in the form.

 

[maggie6445]

Well after a few years of worrying and watching my oh has an appointment at memory clinic this month. I'm worried how he'll react to a dementia diagnosis, or how I'll react if he doesn't. I'll NEVER get him to see a doctor again, it's taken me about 5/6y to get this far.
He has a questionnaire to fill in before he goes and I know he'll say nothing is wrong but a little memory problem. He doesn't seem to have any insight into all the other things he struggles with. I'm not sure if I should ring the clinic about it? Maybe it's all part if their test to check if he has insight, I don't know.

Hi @Newanne, you could contact the clinic beforehand. When my OH was assessed it was during lockdown so on the computer .I was with him . He thought he could do more than he could. When asked if he dressed himself he said "yes" I sort of interjected with "yes he puts his clothes on himself . Then turned to OH and added I set the clothes out and hand them to you don't I?" "Can you make a cup of tea?". Of course he said yes and I added "sometimes you make too many for the others don't you" and " "sometimes it's a bit cool so we reheat it don't we?". Of course there are no others and it was made with cold water. The consultant was very good and and picked up quickly how questions were asked to get an honest picture.
Of course I didn't interfere with the test, I watched but felt quite sad at his lack of ability. Hope your appointment goes ok . Best wishes

 

[Newanne]

@Newanne , you can also write a letter to the memory clinic covering your observations. I did for the second appointment when my wife underplayed her issues at the first appointment.
Good luck.

Hi @Newanne, you could contact the clinic beforehand. When my OH was assessed it was during lockdown so on the computer .I was with him . He thought he could do more than he could. When asked if he dressed himself he said "yes" I sort of interjected with "yes he puts his clothes on himself . Then turned to OH and added I set the clothes out and hand them to you don't I?" "Can you make a cup of tea?". Of course he said yes and I added "sometimes you make too many for the others don't you" and " "sometimes it's a bit cool so we reheat it don't we?". Of course there are no others and it was made with cold water. The consultant was very good and and picked up quickly how questions were asked to get an honest picture.
Of course I didn't interfere with the test, I watched but felt quite sad at his lack of ability. Hope your appointment goes ok . Best wishes

Thank you maggie6445 that's put my mind at rest.

 

[DollyM1]

Prior to my father having his apt we were sent a questionnaire for US to complete, and the answers were sent to the clinic in advance. This ensured the staff had really good background info, regardless as to what Dad answered.

 

[Newanne]

Prior to my father having his apt we were sent a questionnaire for US to complete, and the answers were sent to the clinic in advance. This ensured the staff had really good background info, regardless as to what Dad answered.

Thanks dollyM1 that make more sense than asking the person with problems to fill it in.

 

[scotlass]

A mental health nurse came to the house to see my husband, he was asked some questions like bithday, ..address when he was young.....he knew this, was then asked to name as many words starting with D he struggled with that. he new abou 4 ..then asked to draw a clock and put the numbers 12 . 1 2 3 4 5 6 right round....he struggled again, I couldn't believe that he was unable to do it,,,he put all the numbers on one side of the clock...that's when I realised he wasn't just getting a bit forgetful....He was sent for a brain scan after that, and it showed Alzheimers, that was 2 years ago. he can still wash and dress himself, but I have to remind him to change his clothes or he would wear the same all week, he can make a cuppa , but can't cook anything...tonight my daughter phoned to speak to him , and he didn't know what end of the phone to put to his ear..., but he can watch game shows and quizzes on the telly, and answer the questions....

 

[Newanne]

A mental health nurse came to the house to see my husband, he was asked some questions like bithday, ..address when he was young.....he knew this, was then asked to name as many words starting with D he struggled with that. he new abou 4 ..then asked to draw a clock and put the numbers 12 . 1 2 3 4 5 6 right round....he struggled again, I couldn't believe that he was unable to do it,,,he put all the numbers on one side of the clock...that's when I realised he wasn't just getting a bit forgetful....He was sent for a brain scan after that, and it showed Alzheimers, that was 2 years ago. he can still wash and dress himself, but I have to remind him to change his clothes or he would wear the same all week, he can make a cuppa , but can't cook anything...tonight my daughter phoned to speak to him , and he didn't know what end of the phone to put to his ear..., but he can watch game shows and quizzes on the telly, and answer the questions....

Hello scotlass - your husband sound very like mine. He functions well but struggle with so much. He can dress, make a cup of coffee or a sandwich. But he gets confused with dates, thinking things happened last year when it was last week. Short term memory shocking and getting him to shower or Change his clothes is so difficult. He says yes ill get a shower but actually doing it is a different thing. So many things he struggles with but if you met him you would never know there was anything wrong. He gets embarressed/ashamed saying he's 'loosing it' he will do anything to cover up so people don't see how he struggles. Sorry I'm rambling now. It just good to talk to others who understand. Blessing to everyone who is struggles with this horrid thing. ❤️❤️

 

[scotlass]

Hello scotlass - your husband sound very like mine. He functions well but struggle with so much. He can dress, make a cup of coffee or a sandwich. But he gets confused with dates, thinking things happened last year when it was last week. Short term memory shocking and getting him to shower or Change his clothes is so difficult. He says yes ill get a shower but actually doing it is a different thing. So many things he struggles with but if you met him you would never know there was anything wrong. He gets embarressed/ashamed saying he's 'loosing it' he will do anything to cover up so people don't see how he struggles. Sorry I'm rambling now. It just good to talk to others who understand. Blessing to everyone who is struggles with this horrid thing. ❤️❤️

I know what you mean exactly, anyone speaking to him doesn't know that he has dementia. when his nieces visited, he hadn't seen them for a long time, and they said they wouldn't have known,,,,,strange how it effects people differently.....

 

[Watson1]

I was diagnosed with alzheimers last august at memory clinic. The wonderful staff gave us much information to understand this new journey. When you understand you are only a small part of thousands of others in the same situation you are very much not alone. Of course its not easy and it neve will be. we just do the best we can with friend , family, with what little we may have one day one day at a time

 

[scotlass]

yes Watson, always one day at a time, and try to enjoy as much as you can, doing things you like with family and friends...

 

[Ali58]

Hello scotlass - your husband sound very like mine. He functions well but struggle with so much. He can dress, make a cup of coffee or a sandwich. But he gets confused with dates, thinking things happened last year when it was last week. Short term memory shocking and getting him to shower or Change his clothes is so difficult. He says yes ill get a shower but actually doing it is a different thing. So many things he struggles with but if you met him you would never know there was anything wrong. He gets embarressed/ashamed saying he's 'loosing it' he will do anything to cover up so people don't see how he struggles. Sorry I'm rambling now. It just good to talk to others who understand. Blessing to everyone who is struggles with this horrid thing. ❤️❤️

Oh my word, this is so similar to our lives! Has your husband had a diagnosis? Last time we attended the memory clinic in Nov 22 he was told he had mild cognitive impairment but not dementia. I must admit I was shocked. However I believe he has deteriorated and so arranged another referral which is now mid March. I’m worried he still won’t get a proper diagnosis because he behaves so differently towards other people!

 

[Newanne]

Oh my word, this is so similar to our lives! Has your husband had a diagnosis? Last time we attended the memory clinic in Nov 22 he was told he had mild cognitive impairment but not dementia. I must admit I was shocked. However I believe he has deteriorated and so arranged another referral which is now mid March. I’m worried he still won’t get a proper diagnosis because he behaves so differently towards other people!

Ali58 - well I'm thinking they may say my husband has mci. I don't beleive it, so may things he's getting mixed up and confused. we had the mot on the car in July last year. He took it and sorted it, (with me tell him it was time) 3 weeks later, I got home to him in a panic, " I forgot the mot, oh good grief. I've rung and booked it in for Fri." I had to show him the paperwork to make him beleive we'd had it done then ring to cancel. Lots of that sort of thing happening now and getting worse. Memory clinic on Feb 22nd. I rang them to explain the form they sent him to fill in beforehand will not show a true picture as he doesn't seem to have much insight and is ashamed. They were very understanding and asked me to copy the form and fill in myself, then I could give them it without hubby knowing. Sneaky I know, but they have to know the true picture. It's been a long time coming and I'm dreading it but still it needs doing. Good luck with your appointment in March. One day at a time as they say. 🤗

 

[Ali58]

Ali58 - well I'm thinking they may say my husband has mci. I don't beleive it, so may things he's getting mixed up and confused. we had the mot on the car in July last year. He took it and sorted it, (with me tell him it was time) 3 weeks later, I got home to him in a panic, " I forgot the mot, oh good grief. I've rung and booked it in for Fri." I had to show him the paperwork to make him beleive we'd had it done then ring to cancel. Lots of that sort of thing happening now and getting worse. Memory clinic on Feb 22nd. I rang them to explain the form they sent him to fill in beforehand will not show a true picture as he doesn't seem to have much insight and is ashamed. They were very understanding and asked me to copy the form and fill in myself, then I could give them it without hubby knowing. Sneaky I know, but they have to know the true picture. It's been a long time coming and I'm dreading it but still it needs doing. Good luck with your appointment in March. One day at a time as they say. 🤗

Good luck with yours too. I’ve realised reading so many people’s stories on here that my problems are minor in comparison. I read one earlier and it actually made me cry. To be honest I don’t know how I’m going to cope in the future, it fills me with such fear .

 

[Daddy's Mum]

Hello scotlass - your husband sound very like mine. He functions well but struggle with so much. He can dress, make a cup of coffee or a sandwich. But he gets confused with dates, thinking things happened last year when it was last week. Short term memory shocking and getting him to shower or Change his clothes is so difficult. He says yes ill get a shower but actually doing it is a different thing. So many things he struggles with but if you met him you would never know there was anything wrong. He gets embarressed/ashamed saying he's 'loosing it' he will do anything to cover up so people don't see how he struggles. Sorry I'm rambling now. It just good to talk to others who understand. Blessing to everyone who is struggles with this horrid thing. ❤️❤️

Goodness this is so like my husband. Some of the things he says and does people wouldn’t believe if they met him for 5 minutes. It is so hard.

 

[canary]

I’ve realised reading so many people’s stories on here that my problems are minor in comparison. I read one earlier and it actually made me cry. To be honest I don’t know how I’m going to cope in the future, it fills me with such fear .

Not everything that you read on here will happen to you/your PWD
Dont look too far into the future, just respond to the here and now. When things change you will adapt and we will be here to advise and support you.
Try not to be scared
((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

 

[Ali58]

Not everything that you read on here will happen to you/your PWD
Dont look too far into the future, just respond to the here and now. When things change you will adapt and we will be here to advise and support you.
Try not to be scared
((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for that - more tears 🙄

 

[UncleZen]

It sounds like he does have an MCI, based on my experience that's what they will tell you based on the evidence hey have, they can't diagnose anything else without brain scans, probably 2 at least a year apart. And getting scans done might be difficult from what you say.