Apologies - this is such a trivial matter compared to what many of you are facing but I don't know where else to find some advice on whether I am over reacting.
My Mum (mixed AD/VD) has been receiving nursing care in a home which has a mix of residents, some with dementia and some just with physical ailments.
When first being shown round, although we walked through a large TV lounge which I found rather gloomy and which had armchairs arranged around the walls occupied by seemingly apathetic or depressed residents, I was cheered by the friendly and chatty atmosphere in the sun lounge, which has lovely views. At first I used to find Mum in this sunny lounge - she loves company although her significant memory loss means she can't always join in conversations.
During the last 3 weeks I have only found Mum in the sunny room once - and she was happy and smiling, even before she caught sight of me. I visit daily, and on all other recent visits have found her in the "gloomy room". I spoke to a couple of carers after a week or so of this as I was upset to see her there all the time and they did say that residents are allowed to sit where they want - but I am fairly certain that Mum is just being put in the TV lounge and not actually being given a clear choice of where to go, and unfortunately she seems to have the impression that she is not allowed to move. I keep telling her that she is allowed to sit in the sunny room but unless I am there to help her to stand and to explain to her that there is a sunny room then I don't believe she would have the capacity to insist on being helped to move to the sunny room. A couple of times she has asked me to "get her out" of the TV lounge and generally looks slightly anxious until she sees me. I then often get "thank goodness you're here". She generally has no idea what is playing on the large screen TV which dominates the room.
At home, she would "follow the sun" moving from the front to back lounge as the sunshine moved, and loved to look out of the window at the trees, birds, sky. Wonder if my belief that the sunny lounge would be better for her is based on my wish to see her spending time with chatty ladies and looking at pleasant views - perhaps her needs have changed??? But I fear that, by placing her in a chair in the "gloomy room" each day, the carers think she is becoming used to sitting there and that she will just accept that is her place in the world. She will start to just fit in with the other room occupants and I will see the same apathetic stare.
I don't sleep very well and get really wound up about my lovely Mum's decline so can't judge whether I should escalate my concerns about where Mum is now being put each day or whether I should just try to accept it and keep taking her out of the care home for trips into the daylight as often as possible. At present I just feel that all my efforts to cheer and motivate her are being undermined by her being "dumped" in the TV lounge. I am so wound up by seeing her look unhappy that I fear losing my temper if I do try to raise it again!
Well done to anyone who has read this far. Any factual knowledge of the effect of sitting in a bright sunny room with lovely views vs a tv lounge would be interesting. I feel that the sunny room must be better for my Mum (who is on anti-depressants) but don't have clinical research to back up my gut feeling.
My Mum (mixed AD/VD) has been receiving nursing care in a home which has a mix of residents, some with dementia and some just with physical ailments.
When first being shown round, although we walked through a large TV lounge which I found rather gloomy and which had armchairs arranged around the walls occupied by seemingly apathetic or depressed residents, I was cheered by the friendly and chatty atmosphere in the sun lounge, which has lovely views. At first I used to find Mum in this sunny lounge - she loves company although her significant memory loss means she can't always join in conversations.
During the last 3 weeks I have only found Mum in the sunny room once - and she was happy and smiling, even before she caught sight of me. I visit daily, and on all other recent visits have found her in the "gloomy room". I spoke to a couple of carers after a week or so of this as I was upset to see her there all the time and they did say that residents are allowed to sit where they want - but I am fairly certain that Mum is just being put in the TV lounge and not actually being given a clear choice of where to go, and unfortunately she seems to have the impression that she is not allowed to move. I keep telling her that she is allowed to sit in the sunny room but unless I am there to help her to stand and to explain to her that there is a sunny room then I don't believe she would have the capacity to insist on being helped to move to the sunny room. A couple of times she has asked me to "get her out" of the TV lounge and generally looks slightly anxious until she sees me. I then often get "thank goodness you're here". She generally has no idea what is playing on the large screen TV which dominates the room.
At home, she would "follow the sun" moving from the front to back lounge as the sunshine moved, and loved to look out of the window at the trees, birds, sky. Wonder if my belief that the sunny lounge would be better for her is based on my wish to see her spending time with chatty ladies and looking at pleasant views - perhaps her needs have changed??? But I fear that, by placing her in a chair in the "gloomy room" each day, the carers think she is becoming used to sitting there and that she will just accept that is her place in the world. She will start to just fit in with the other room occupants and I will see the same apathetic stare.
I don't sleep very well and get really wound up about my lovely Mum's decline so can't judge whether I should escalate my concerns about where Mum is now being put each day or whether I should just try to accept it and keep taking her out of the care home for trips into the daylight as often as possible. At present I just feel that all my efforts to cheer and motivate her are being undermined by her being "dumped" in the TV lounge. I am so wound up by seeing her look unhappy that I fear losing my temper if I do try to raise it again!
Well done to anyone who has read this far. Any factual knowledge of the effect of sitting in a bright sunny room with lovely views vs a tv lounge would be interesting. I feel that the sunny room must be better for my Mum (who is on anti-depressants) but don't have clinical research to back up my gut feeling.
