Well, it’s 3 weeks since Mum died, and the funeral has come and gone. She actually died from a bleed in the brain following a fall.
I’m feeling so sad this morning, but I think it’s because I’m feeling emotionally shut out by my husband. I am feeling angry with him, but I’m trying not to take it out on him because I know that he’s rubbish at providing comfort. He has other strengths, which are all practical, like filling up mum’s grave and making sure all the flowers are placed properly. When I’m falling apart inside that doesn’t seem to make much difference though.
I ask him questions like whether I should have given up work so I could have been here with Mum, but he just seems to get angry and not answer. He just doesn’t talk to me. I know he’s hurting too, but he just keeps saying he’s alright. That just makes me feel even more distant. I was Mum’s only child, so ultimately I’m the only one who is/was responsible. If only I had been here maybe she wouldn’t have fallen…
P x
I’m feeling so sad this morning, but I think it’s because I’m feeling emotionally shut out by my husband. I am feeling angry with him, but I’m trying not to take it out on him because I know that he’s rubbish at providing comfort. He has other strengths, which are all practical, like filling up mum’s grave and making sure all the flowers are placed properly. When I’m falling apart inside that doesn’t seem to make much difference though.
I ask him questions like whether I should have given up work so I could have been here with Mum, but he just seems to get angry and not answer. He just doesn’t talk to me. I know he’s hurting too, but he just keeps saying he’s alright. That just makes me feel even more distant. I was Mum’s only child, so ultimately I’m the only one who is/was responsible. If only I had been here maybe she wouldn’t have fallen…
P x
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