Is this a common poo problem?

[jawuk]

My husband has suddenly lost the memory of how to poo by intent and when I try to encourage him or suggest he for example hold his breath and try to break wind he can't do that either. The result is .........well I'm sure you know. Until a few days ago he was performing normally when taken to the lavatory but are those days gone forever or could this be a phase which will pass? His faeces are not loose, in fact he'd be easier to clean up if they were so

 

[truth24]

I think you will find this is very common. It happened to my husband too and he then started wearing incontinence pants as he was doubly incontinent. Unfortunately from my experience there is no way back but others may be different. Sorry I can't offer words of hope. We use the expression 'on with the Marigolds and off with the brain'. It's surprising the things we get used to dealing with after the initial horror.


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[jawuk]

Thank you Truth. What a very depressing prospect. Have you coped with it for many years?

 

[truth24]

Probably the last 2-3 years, gradually getting worse. It's very common but hopefully you won't get there for a while, or even at all. Everyone varies. My OH went into a residential home recently and although I suffer from a terrible guilt complex, this is something I don't miss! Hope you fare better for some time to come. Best wishes.

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[thebes]

My OH has been having very similar problems for the last 6 weeks of so. And that has resulted in some right royal clear up jobs -which if you has asked me a few months ago I would have said 'no way'. but the poor guy can't help it. I too have tried helping him to work out how to 'go' but it means nothing to him.
I am now concentrating on getting him to tell me when it happens - he seems unaware of the event - and also not to try clearing himself up . I have been trying very hard to manage my own feelings so he does not pick up on my distaste which is still there, but if he feels I am upset or impatient - then he feels even worse, which is a nasty vicious circle.
Wish I was better at wearing a halo - mine falls off and disappears far too often.
We have an appointment at the Continence clinic on Monday - after months of trying to get referred. I will post again if they come up with any useful tips.

 

[jawuk]

My OH has been having very similar problems for the last 6 weeks of so. And that has resulted in some right royal clear up jobs -which if you has asked me a few months ago I would have said 'no way'. but the poor guy can't help it. I too have tried helping him to work out how to 'go' but it means nothing to him.
I am now concentrating on getting him to tell me when it happens - he seems unaware of the event - and also not to try clearing himself up . I have been trying very hard to manage my own feelings so he does not pick up on my distaste which is still there, but if he feels I am upset or impatient - then he feels even worse, which is a nasty vicious circle.
Wish I was better at wearing a halo - mine falls off and disappears far too often.
We have an appointment at the Continence clinic on Monday - after months of trying to get referred. I will post again if they come up with any useful tips.

The result is so much worse when they've been walking around for a while like that isn't it? And of course, having male tackle makes cleaning up a much more complex job too. Happy days.
I look forward to hearing what your clinic has to say especially if it goes any further than larger pads.

 

[Rosie2]

My husband still knows when he needs to go it is where he puts it that is becoming a problem. I am struggling to cope with this at the moment as it is hard to disguise my distaste. I don't have a strong stomach.

 

[Kevinl]

Use wet wipes they're much better than loo roll, but whatever you do don't flush them, bin them otherwise while you're on the phone to Drill-a- Drain who can't get to you for 2 days you will regret it, big time.
K

 

[truth24]

Unfortunately this is very common. My OH still does it in his care home and they watch him like hawks to make sure he doesn't put anywhere untowards. Don't know why so many AD patients have this fascination with their faeces but right up until his last day at home I was going around sniffing everywhere in case he did it before I could catch him. I used to think it was the worst part but later found out that, for me, it became less distressing than his physical/mental withdrawal from me. After being the most loving husband anyone could wish for, he suddenly started treating me as his worst enemy which was heartbreaking. Mainly because I was trying to make him do things he didn't want to do, I suppose.

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[jawuk]

Use wet wipes they're much better than loo roll, but whatever you do don't flush them, bin them otherwise while you're on the phone to Drill-a- Drain who can't get to you for 2 days you will regret it, big time.
K

I have to use lavatory paper initially but once the mass is gone the wet wipes come out. I have a septic tank so am always careful about what goes into it which means the use of bleach is quite severely restricted else the septic tank microbes wouldn't survive.
I recently bought some dry wipes and must say I've found them utterly pointless.

 

[jawuk]

My husband still knows when he needs to go it is where he puts it that is becoming a problem. I am struggling to cope with this at the moment as it is hard to disguise my distaste. I don't have a strong stomach.

:O( how unpleasant for you. My husband has recently started asking whether objects of furniture are lavatories, not that it makes any difference to where he 'goes'.

 

[jawuk]

I do feel for the desolation you must have felt when you husband's personality altered toward you Truth. Mine has lost the ability to empathise and I find that very hard as he was always so kind and loving in the past, I don't know how I would cope with all the physical and mental stress if he were to turn against me in the future. You have my sincere sympathy.

 

[truth24]

Thank you jawuk. He is now in a care home so my new problem is guilt. I visit every other day as he is 16 miles away and it is lovely on the days when his eyes light up with recognition. Too few I'm afraid
but great when it happens.
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[Rathbone]

Holding all you wonderful people in the Light. In absolute admiration for each of you. x

 

[truth24]

Thanks Shelagh.

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