Mums release

[barny]

Although I registered with this site a long time ago I have never posted. I have though read posts over time and gained some useful hints and tips and have felt not so alone. My mum died 10 days ago after 15 years with VD. We kept her at home with the support of family . I put her to bed as usual after a normal day and in the morning she was dead. It was the same day my dad died on 28 years ago. I could not have wished for a better end. She was very frail at the end and her eating and drinking had tailed off. The past 15 years have been stressful, funny,scarey and a huge learning curve. I have found the statuary bodies to be at best useless, intrusive and most interested in finances. Hopefully will not have to deal with them ever again.
To those of you still caring I wish you strength, courage and love. Thank goodness for sites such as this.
My mum is at peace and reunited with dad. May they rest in peace

 

[marionq]

Barny I am glad that it is over for you and your Mum. You can now think of her in better times and I hope move on with your life. Good wishes.

 

[jeany123]

I am pleased your mum had a peaceful end Barry, xx

 

[meme]

so sorry for the loss of your Mum...she went in her sleep which is a good way to go...my mother was in her own home too and died in the night. So glad you kept her at home and were with her to the end....I wish you strength for the time ahead

 

[Tin]

That's all I hope for my mum, a peaceful end at home, thank you for posting, take care of yourself.

 

[VickyG]

Sorry for your mum's passing, but at least she's with your dad now, and free from Dementia.
Sending you a little hug from one recently bereft to another.......... ((hug))

 

[Lancshiker]

I'm so sorry you have lost your Mum but your view of her passing as being at peace with your Dad at last is a great one. You looked after her to the end and your Mum could not have had happier times than at home with you. I wish you the very best.

 

[LYN T]

I'm very sorry to read your sad news Barny. May your Mum rest in peace now she is reunited with your Dad

Look after yourself

Lyn T XX

 

[barny]

I'm so sorry you have lost your Mum but your view of her passing as being at peace with your Dad at last is a great one. You looked after her to the end and your Mum could not have had happier times than at home with you. I wish you the very best.

Thank you.

 

[VickyG]

Hi Barny,
How you doing ? Just thought i'd stop by and ask. x

 

[barny]

Hi Barny,
How you doing ? Just thought i'd stop by and ask. x

Hi Vicky,
Not sure how I'm doing. Gone back to work which is good as it takes my mind off things. Have meetings with the solicitor tomorrow which I am not looking forward to. I find it strange without mum in the house after so many years. Today is my daughters birthday and I bought 2 cards with out thinking one from me and one from mum, didn't realise what I had done till I got home! As well as feeling sad I also feel a great sense of freedom. It will take time to adjust but I feel abit lost. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?

 

[VickyG]

Hi Vicky,
Not sure how I'm doing. Gone back to work which is good as it takes my mind off things. Have meetings with the solicitor tomorrow which I am not looking forward to. I find it strange without mum in the house after so many years. Today is my daughters birthday and I bought 2 cards with out thinking one from me and one from mum, didn't realise what I had done till I got home! As well as feeling sad I also feel a great sense of freedom. It will take time to adjust but I feel abit lost. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?

Hi,
Glad you've gone back to work, just see how it goes. I need to start looking for work again, and soon, i need a bit of 'normality' whatever that is, back in my life. I gave up my job last December, I don't even know what i'll end up doing ( un-sure about going back to care work ).
Good luck at the solicitors, hope it goes ok.
Happy Birthday to your daughter, just give the card from your mum anyway, just put a big X from her. A few years ago, whilst mum could still scribble her name ( just about, albeit un readable ), i pre-sorted all the big birthday cards ( 18's 21st's etc ) and the last one that will be given will be my daughter's 21st in 2016, i'm sure it'll be quite strange as mum's no longer here
I'm like you, still feel a bit lost, but relieved, mixed emotions really....

 

[barny]

Hi,
Glad you've gone back to work, just see how it goes. I need to start looking for work again, and soon, i need a bit of 'normality' whatever that is, back in my life. I gave up my job last December, I don't even know what i'll end up doing ( un-sure about going back to care work ).
Good luck at the solicitors, hope it goes ok.
Happy Birthday to your daughter, just give the card from your mum anyway, just put a big X from her. A few years ago, whilst mum could still scribble her name ( just about, albeit un readable ), i pre-sorted all the big birthday cards ( 18's 21st's etc ) and the last one that will be given will be my daughter's 21st in 2016, i'm sure it'll be quite strange as mum's no longer here
I'm like you, still feel a bit lost, but relieved, mixed emotions really....

You hit the nail on the head with the word normality. 15years of living day to day always waiting for the next upset/crisis is far from normal. It was a struggle to keep my job whilest caring for mum but I am glad I did. My boss has been very supportive and hopefully will be able to increase my hours. I hope you find a job you like and fits your lifestyle. Take care.
Just back from the solicitor, head spinning! But it will get sorted in the end.

 

[VickyG]

You hit the nail on the head with the word normality. 15years of living day to day always waiting for the next upset/crisis is far from normal. It was a struggle to keep my job whilest caring for mum but I am glad I did. My boss has been very supportive and hopefully will be able to increase my hours. I hope you find a job you like and fits your lifestyle. Take care.
Just back from the solicitor, head spinning! But it will get sorted in the end.

Hi ya,
How's things ?
I've begun the search for a job, there's not a lot out there I wonder WILL I go back into care ?

 

[barny]

Hi ya,
How's things ?
I've begun the search for a job, there's not a lot out there I wonder WILL I go back into care ?

Hi Vicky
Just back from a break away. It was lovely, first holiday in many years!
I hope you find a job you like. My job is nursing and I have found it ok being back at work. People are all different and each patient is different and I have enjoyed being able to help others and use my skills. If you went back into care perhaps you could try a different setting. Did you work in a hospital or care home or in the community? Careers are employed in many settings. My GP surgery employs 2 carers who do a variety of jobs. Take your time and have a good look around. I am an eternal optimist and something will turn up.
Good luck. X

 

[VickyG]

Hi Vicky
Just back from a break away. It was lovely, first holiday in many years!
I hope you find a job you like. My job is nursing and I have found it ok being back at work. People are all different and each patient is different and I have enjoyed being able to help others and use my skills. If you went back into care perhaps you could try a different setting. Did you work in a hospital or care home or in the community? Careers are employed in many settings. My GP surgery employs 2 carers who do a variety of jobs. Take your time and have a good look around. I am an eternal optimist and something will turn up.
Good luck. X

Hi Barny,
So glad you've managed a break away and enjoyed it, I just got back in the early hours of this morning from Cyprus, was very much needed !
I worked in residential / Dementia care homes prior to bringing mum here. I applied sometime ago to work for a very well known cancer care organisation, got the position but turned it down ( wrong timing, with mum etc ) so who knows ? maybe i could re-try with them ? Not sure yet. I don't really want to work in the community as many people I know say there's even less time for care, plus, I don't drive
I will have a look tomorrow on line, see what's about

Hope all's good with you xx

 

[barny]

Hi Barny,
So glad you've managed a break away and enjoyed it, I just got back in the early hours of this morning from Cyprus, was very much needed !
I worked in residential / Dementia care homes prior to bringing mum here. I applied sometime ago to work for a very well known cancer care organisation, got the position but turned it down ( wrong timing, with mum etc ) so who knows ? maybe i could re-try with them ? Not sure yet. I don't really want to work in the community as many people I know say there's even less time for care, plus, I don't drive
I will have a look tomorrow on line, see what's about

Hope all's good with you xx

Glad you had a break. Hope your batteries are re- charged. I hope you find a suitable job that you will enjoy. I made a start today on clearing mums things, she was a horder! Ifound it ok quite cathartic . It did bring back memories but they were good ones and made me smile. At the end of the day I have several bags for the charity shop, some for throwing out and some for keeping. Now need to have a good clean! Feeling tired but have a sense of achievement. Good luck with job hunting. Take care.

 

[VickyG]

Glad you had a break. Hope your batteries are re- charged. I hope you find a suitable job that you will enjoy. I made a start today on clearing mums things, she was a horder! Ifound it ok quite cathartic . It did bring back memories but they were good ones and made me smile. At the end of the day I have several bags for the charity shop, some for throwing out and some for keeping. Now need to have a good clean! Feeling tired but have a sense of achievement. Good luck with job hunting. Take care.

Hi ya
Ah, the dreaded sorting-of-things ! But like you say, it can be quite cathartic and does bring a mixture a of feelings / memories. Hope you got on with the cleaning ok and things are getting there.

Thanks, will need a lot of good luck with the job hunt, I really don't know what I want to do or will end up doing ! There's no rush in the financial sense, it's just me, I NEED to get out there and do something.

Bye for now, take care.