So proud of mum :)

[Lindy50]

So, yesterday was the day I finally got my mum to the memory clinic. She had been refusing to go for nearly a year but then, suddenly, when I said I would be negligent if we didn't go....she agreed

Poor soul really didn't want to go, and I didn't want to put my 92 year old mum through the stress....but I felt it had to be done. She tried sooo hard at the MMSE, and being basically a very intelligent lady, managed to get a score of 20/30. So, not bad really. It was striking to me that she could do the 'quick fire' things like 'take 7 from 93', quite easily. But.....she couldn't draw the clock at ten minutes to eleven, she had no idea what day, date, month or even year we are in And on recall, she couldn't remember having been asked to remember some words, let alone what they were!

Yet, despite this, she kept her chin up, told the doctor she manages everything for herself....quote....."Well, I have a very good family", so "No, I don't need any help"

The nurse and doctor were both charming, and got her to agree to have a scan and, wait for it.....to go on the waiting list for an Age UK visitor (which would be for an hour a fortnight, but it's a start, at least it's not me!)

Overall, mum actually enjoyed the visit. She thought the doctor was very attractive ( he was ) and said she'd see him any day of the week!!

I left mum very happy, giggling over my suggestion that she 'dream about the dishy doctor'

I have dreaded this for so long, I can't believe it went so well and that mum felt validated rather than threatened. Great!

Lindy xx

 

[2jays]

I couldn't take 7 from 93 let alone necessarily remember the date and month

Well done for getting her to the clinic and mum not being upset by it.

It's a start....

xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Lindy50]

Thanks 2jays

Have been going by the GP's opinion of mum's memory / mental state up to now, and frankly was getting nowhere.

I feel so relieved that an 'expert' has actually seen mum now, it does help to share some of the responsibility I think.

And we were so lucky that the doctor was so charming...!

 

[Saffie]

That is good news. I'm glad your mother managed to do so well and the she liked the Doctor. It always helps and will ensure she'll go again next time. Well done for perservering with it.x

 

[kayze]

Hi,
I would be very proud too, I'm glad it went so well for both of you.

Best wishes.

 

[Ann Mac]

I'm so glad it went well - must be such a relief for you lets hope the age concern visits go just as well, and can be increased to give you more of a break xxx

 

[LYN T]

Well done Lindy-and your Mum of course

These appointments can be so stressful if not handled with kindness.


Take care

Lyn T
I hope you Mum is still thinking about that dishy Doctor

 

[Grannie G]

Full marks to the doctor and nurse for being sensitive with your mother. And full marks to you too of course Lindy.

 

[BLONDY]

My mum was told the day and the date then asked what day it is. This is another way of making sure people do not get the help they need in our part of the country.

Sent from my LC0901D using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Pickles53]

Lindy50, I'm so glad it went well for you and your mum at the memory clinic.it's interesting how different areas/health trusts operate. At our appointment it was strictly a medical discussion; here is the diagnosis, we recommend this medication, see you in a year's time. The consultant did ask mum about how she was managing at home, but it was clear that any support would be organised via a separate visit from MH team. MH nurse sorted the medication, and promised an OT referral to assess what could be possible to deal with mum's almost complete social isolation. (She can't go out alone and no family lives nearer than me, 2 hrs away.

That was 4 weeks ago, and still no sign of OTs despite chasing several times. Call me cynical, but if the best they can offer when they do turn up is a place on a waiting list for something that doesn't help much. I had hoped that getting the 'official' diagnosis would be the gateway for a lot more support than has materialised so far.

Having worked in the public sector most of my life, I do know that resources are stretched these days and that there are most likely many people in far more desperate need of help, but it's still so frustrating.

Sorry, rant over now.

 

[jawuk]

Pickles, my husband was prescribed Rivastigmine by the memory clinic some few years ago. We saw a new GP about 5 months ago and he asked about the clinic. I couldn't remember the last time we saw them so he looked it up. When he saw it was in 2012 he became quite irate, said that NICE stipulated that with Rivastigmine the clinic had to assess how it was going every 6 months. He kicked backside by snailmail and since then we've had monthly visits, a referral to the MC OT service and are to be accompanied to look at respite care facilities.

Don't let them get away with 12 monthly reviews!

 

[carer21]

Re time out for yourself.........
In our area I found crossroads very approachable and was able to access 3 hours visit a week. I look forward to my weekly time out and I am amazed how much ( or little) I can do by myself in 3 hours just as MY mood pleases!!!
Also last weeks carers week fired me up to find anything else to help and have found a local area volunteer befriend and respite service providing the same for 3 hours a week but at no charge. And they don't mind I already have crossroads.
Maybe if you have access to Internet you can find something similar in your area?
I've found that information about what is available in all our individual circumstances is not at all joined up and there is no one stop where you can see what you can access.
I phoned the organisation concerned last Friday to give our details. Received call back from local organiser today and will meet Monday to chat about what is mutually agreeable and then they will match a volunteer. I'm optimistic as they were very approachable.
Time for yourself is vital and I think we're all guilty of thinking we can carry on regardless but the benefits of accepting help far outweigh the reluctance to ask. It's just difficult to find what you need out there sometimes!!'



Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Lindy50]

Thank you everyone for your lovely replies

I have found reading them really helpful as it helps me to see our situation 'from the outside', as it were, and put it into context. And I think as some suggest, we do need a bit more support. When I say that, I mean that both mum and I would benefit. At the moment I am keeping to schedule, doing the chores and helping mum stay in the moment as much as possible - went out for tea and cake today, and picked up daughter's shoes from the menders - little things but they keep her looking around and taking notice

But....and it's a big but....I am tending to run out of conversation a bit. I think she does need a more lively visitor and I'm going to see whether we can get someone from the volunteer befrienders. They do exist here but somehow I always thought they were for other people

So thank you and good luck to all

Lindy xx

 

[Pickles53]

Pickles, my husband was prescribed Rivastigmine by the memory clinic some few years ago. We saw a new GP about 5 months ago and he asked about the clinic. I couldn't remember the last time we saw them so he looked it up. When he saw it was in 2012 he became quite irate, said that NICE stipulated that with Rivastigmine the clinic had to assess how it was going every 6 months. He kicked backside by snailmail and since then we've had monthly visits, a referral to the MC OT service and are to be accompanied to look at respite care facilities.

Don't let them get away with 12 monthly reviews!

That's interesting, mum's GP seems not to have responded to the letter sent to him by the consultant so assume that unless we push it he doesn't see the need to get involved. Things have now changed in that the Donezepil mum was first prescribed has now been stopped. She had a sleepless night, was very frightened by that, and on advice of MH team stopped taking it. Her own MH nurse went to see her to propose she tried something different, but she was so adamant that she didn't want to that he thought it was best to leave it for now while we try to deal with the much more pressing problem of her social isolation.

It is on my list to make a GP appointment as although she's been taking blood pressure tablets for a long time she hasn't actually had her blood pressure checked for more than 6 months, so perhaps I will raise the medication issue with him at the same time.

 

[Lindy50]

Pickles53, social isolation is so difficult, isn't it? I live closer to my mum than you do and I still struggle to keep her involved. I hope you've managed to get her to some sort of lunch club or similar, or she can have visitors....

And re the medication, mum's named GP almost literally never sees her, unless there is an issue that means I have to insist. To review medication, he phones her, asks her if all is well and then renews the prescription! Even though she has no idea what she takes, etc!

It is another GP in the practice who has taken an interest, and referred mum to the memory clinic

All the best

Lindy xx

 

[Pickles53]

Hi Lindy

I can do better than that.... I order mum's repeat prescriptions online and when you log on, it shows the date when next review is due. The date was 31 March, when I logged on in April the date had been changed to 30 September without any contact with mum whatsoever. That's why I want her to see him now!

We did try an Age UK lunch club back in January but mum was so anti-it after 3 weeks we gave up. It didn't seem fair to take up a place when there was a waiting list of people who wanted to go. Maybe a specialist day centre would be better, if we ever get the chance to try it.

 

[jeany123]

Hi Lindy

I can do better than that.... I order mum's repeat prescriptions online and when you log on, it shows the date when next review is due. The date was 31 March, when I logged on in April the date had been changed to 30 September without any contact with mum whatsoever. That's why I want her to see him now!

It is the Doc who reviews the medication, it is for the doctors information not ours, they do that with everyone and do not contact the patient unless it needs changing,

 

[Lindy50]

Hi Pickles

This issue with the prescription reviews is disgraceful, really, isn't it? It can surely only be a matter of time before there is some disaster

To be fair, I do get the district nurses out about twice a year to take mum's blood pressure and to take a blood sample as she has severe anaemia - but I have to request this, it never happens automatically. The surgery used to be much more pro-active, it seems that with every new government initiative they actually get less helpful

I'm sorry that the Age UK day centre didn't suit your mum. Do you have access to a more specialist one? Hope so

Lindy xx

 

[Pickles53]

Pickles53, social isolation is so difficult, isn't it? I live closer to my mum than you do and I still struggle to keep her involved. I hope you've managed to get her to some sort of lunch club or similar, or she can have visitors....

And re the medication, mum's named GP almost literally never sees her, unless there is an issue that means I have to insist. To review medication, he phones her, asks her if all is well and then renews the prescription! Even though she has no idea what she takes, etc!

It is another GP in the practice who has taken an interest, and referred mum to the memory clinic

All the best

Lindy xx

Mum's GP's idea of a review was to change the review date from 31 March to 30 September without any contact with her at all. I saw the change on the online system when I logged on to order the meds. That's why I want her to see him!

We did try an Age UK lunch club earlier this year but after 3 weeks we cancelled it as she was so anti the whole thing. It seemed wrong to keep a place when there was a waiting list of others who were keen to go. Maybe a specialist day centre would work, if we ever get to see the OTs who would have to make the referral.....5 weeks and counting.....

Take care
Xx

 

[Lindy50]

It is the Doc who reviews the medication, it is for the doctors information not ours, they do that with everyone and do not contact the patient unless it needs changing,

But jeany, how do they know whether it needs changing, if they never see / talk to the patient?