Do you have children, especially young children? Think very hard if you do. To be honest I'd leave her next door, to keep their/your own space.
My only concern is looking at the worst case scenario: If the funds run out and you can no longer care for her at home, it could be seen as depravation of assets. If you are sure she will be able to stay self funding for as long as is necessary or that you will be able to keep her at home for as long as necessary it will work.
My only concern is looking at the worst case scenario: If the funds run out and you can no longer care for her at home, it could be seen as depravation of assets. If you are sure she will be able to stay self funding for as long as is necessary or that you will be able to keep her at home for as long as necessary it will work.
Hello sixtieschild,
My view is that it could work brilliantly, with the level of support and the money between you.
However my short experience of mother at home with carers was that your home gets to feel like a public place. The main carer who you get used to might be off sick and someone you don't know comes in. Thy let the community nurse in, they then ring you and you don't even know they have been in your house. The carer and the GP may have discussions. You want a day off at home but cannot do so etc etc. It was a very weird feeling.
The other aspect is safety. If your mother starts leaving the front door open, befriending strangers, leaving gas taps on, leaving the water running, getting angry etc will this always be manageable?
Finally can all of you cope with potential screaming in the night, mother wandering into bedrooms, dealing with double incontinence etc.
The double incontinence was the last straw for us even though we had a live in carer.
My mother is really happy in her nursing home, says she feels safe, "don't have to worry about food for the weekend" and "the girls are very nice". i am glad we tried keeping her at home and moving her in to nursing home was very emotional but now 15 months later I know it was the right thing to do.
You sound such a lovely considerate family I wish you well what ever your decision X
In the future you may have to go to the Court of Protection in relation to her assets eg selling her house if she does not have capacity and you do not have an LPA.
Have you got a power of attorney set up? If not you should get it done ASAP, assuming your mother still has capacity to understand and agree to it. As people deteriorate they may become suspicious of their nearest and dearest and fail to see the need, since in their own minds there is nothing wrong with them.
It is true that you are not obliged to involve social services if someone is entirely self funded. However it is as well to bear in mind that while you would want to care for your mother at home until the end, and this may well work fine for you, some people who fully intend to do this find that as the disease progresses they are unable to cope any more. A lot will depend on how 'easy' and compliant the person is - and this can vary so much - e.g. there may be incontinence coupled with a refusal to wash or be washed, they may start wandering a lot at night and this can be exhausting for family in the same house, unless you have one big enough for a separate area plus enough to pay for a night-time carer.
If any money arising from the sale or rental of her house is used solely to pay for her care, and I guess a justified share of living-cost bills, I do not see that this could be seen as deprivation of assets, and unless the money runs out (and you do at some point need to involve SS) you will presumably not have to account for it, except of course that anyone holding power of attorney must be able to show that all expenditure has been in the person's best interests.
I do hope it all works out well for you.
Do you have children, especially young children? Think very hard if you do. To be honest I'd leave her next door, to keep their/your own space.
good luck to you..there is no reason why this should not work for you and your mother.....
I agree. You wouldn't be having your Mum living with you but Dementia in all it's forms.
Lights and TV on all times of the night, things being turned up or off on the stove, midnight cooking, freezer being switched off (most things being switched off), TV settings messed up so she gets upset, phone calls to the Police as she has been left alone (even if you are in the house), never having time to sit down and talk to your OH or kids, no spontaneity. Mum may not recognise where she is and cry to go home or go next door in the night to banging on the door to be let in or report them as squatters.
I could go on. I would also suggest that you spend 48 hours with your Mum in her house. You won't know what she is really like until you do.
Deprivation of assets is really when people give away money or assets such a valuables or property, or spend them in unusual ways, all with the intention of stopping the assets/money being used to fund their care.
I doubt very much that if assets are used to fund care would be regarded as a deprivation of asset.
Indeed, it woul dbe argues that things like renting out or selling property to fund care is exactly what would happen if someone were a self-funder in a care home.
It's not unreasonable that someone should rent out their property or sell and use the cash to fund care - even if that care is in a family member's home.
Giving away the money or suddenly going on luxury holidays or buying expensive antiques as gifts - those would potentially be DOA's.
The best thing to do would be to take legal advice from someone experienced in this specialised area of law - but remember, ultimately, it is a judgement by the local authority. They have a great deal of latitude and it's up to them to determine what they regard as a DOA or otherwise.
Make sure you have PoA, if your mum still has capacity to give this - or deputyship if she doesn't. Otherwise I think you may find that you don't have the legal authority to sell her house, and that she doesn't have the legal capacity to do it.